December 12, 2005

Forget film remakes.

What about TV commercial remakes?
Bayer and its agency, BBDO Worldwide, have re-created a 1972 spot for Alka-Seltzer known as "I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing," for the plaintive cry from a gourmand husband that opens the commercial. The phrase, and a variant, "The whole thing," went on to enter the baby-boomer vernacular.

The remake features Peter Boyle as the husband and, as the wife, Doris Roberts, who played his spouse on the CBS sitcom "Everybody Loves Raymond."

What old TV commercial would you like to see remade for a current ad campaign? Which actors would you like to see in the roles? Personally, I'd like to see the old "Mother, please, I'd rather do it myself" ads. Maybe with the actress who plays Susie on "Curb Your Enthusiasm." (Be realistic about the casting. You can't have some big movie actor. Pick someone like Peter Boyle who might actually do it.)

24 comments:

37921 said...

How about the old commercial where the woman complained to her manicurist about dried, cracked hands. The manicurist recommended Palmolive dishwashing detergent, and said "You're soaking in it".

Remember the manicurist's name? The obvious choice for today's Madge is Madonna! The 30 second format is perfectly suited to her acting skills.

Dave said...

Apple's 1984 commercial. With Susan Powter as the hammerthrower.

Or Barbara Corcoran.

Donna B. said...

No more Rice Krispies
We’re all out of Rice Krispies
My tears will not stop,
til I hear snap, crackle, pop

To sing, Placido Domingo. But I can't quite figure out who his mother-in-law should be.

PatCA said...

The "Excedrin Headache Number..." series, with loser pols like John Kerry commenting on their official blunders or, say, Bill Clinton, commenting on the blue dress and Hillary throwing a lamp.

Goesh said...

Clara Peller from the Wendy's Ad and this time she approaches Howard Dean pontificating from the podium at a DNC rally, points at his crotch and yells her famous words, "Where's the beef!?" Sorry, that was in poor taste, off topic, etc.

Frank Borger said...

My vote goes to "No matter what shape your stomach is in..."

Trick would be getting a modern rock-n-roll band to actually be able to perform the number.

I'd like Michael Moore to be the guy with the gut, but somehow I don't think he'd do it.

howzerdo said...

How about Wednesday is Prince spaghetti day with the mom yelling to the boy as he ran through the streets to get home? I have no idea who should play Anthony, though.

On the other hand, Raymond was on of the few shows I enjoyed, and I like the Peter Boyle/Doris Roberts idea for the commercial remake a lot.

howzerdo said...

Sorry, that should be "one of the few" and I forgot to sign my name.
Gina

Ron said...

How about that "I'd like to teach the world to sing" Coke ad, only with a far more visually diverse crowd, (with say, the lead singer from Green Day, Willie Nelson, Pavarotti, intersperced amidst punks, ravers, cowboys, etc.) than a hillside full squeaky-clean hippie kids!

Ron said...

or maybe...one of those old "fly me" ads for some airline...with Jessica Simpson showing the full range of her acting talents!

Ron said...

How about a "Where's the Beef" ad with Ron Jeremy?

Brendan said...

I wouldn't mind a new "ancient Chinese secret."

Brent said...

Actually, "I can't believe I ate the whole thing" is the SECOND-funniest commercial from Alka Seltzer.

The funniest was "that's a spicy meat-a-ball-a". Good luck getting that one remade in today's hypersensitive climate.

They should have had DeNiro doing "I can't believe I ate the whole thing" - it would have been both a remake and a tribute to "Taxi Driver".

Ann Althouse said...

Another great old Alka-Seltzer ad was the animation, in squiggly line drawing style, where a stomach was "sitting" in a chair being interviewed by a talk show host.

Also, the really old "Speedy" ads were pretty cool. Speedy had an Alka-Seltzer for a hat.

Richard Lawrence Cohen said...

I second spicy meata-balla. We used to parody it in my family as kids. I can't remember what brand it was for, or exactly what product. Spaghetti sauce? Ronzonni, Buitoni?

Speedy Alka-Seltzer is another one I was going to mention.

And of course, "You don't have to be Jewish to love Levy's Real Jewish Rye."

How about Juan Valdez for coffee from Colombia?

As long as I'm doing coffee:

"Chock Full O'Nuts is the heavenly coffee, heavenly coffee, heavenly coffee.../ Coffee only a millionaire's money could buy."

And there was an obscure one for some brand of decaf, I think, in which a customs inspector says to a traveler, "Madame, I have seen this coffee many times, in many suitcases." You had to be there.

Most nostalgic, perhaps, are ones that couldn't be shown today -- tobacco ads, like Edie Adams for White Owl (?) cigars -- or obsolete, like Wildroot and Brylcreem hair tonics.

Richard Lawrence Cohen said...

That's "Better coffee a millionaire's money can't buy." I knew there was something wrong about that first version.

Ron said...

How's about Cheech Marin for Juan Valdez? "Hey, dude, what else is in those knapsacks that mule's carrying?"

Ron said...

Who would do the "Call for Phillip Morris" ads today?

Ruth Anne Adams said...

I'd love to see the Ivory dishwashing liquid commercial where they beat the soap with a mixer until it peaked like whipped cream. I *begged* my mom to do that and she always refused.

Speaking of whipped cream...what about redoing that shave cream ad with Farrah Fawcett. [Let Noxema cream your face, so the razor won't??] Just substitute a generic blonde lovely.

Ron said...

Hey, let's reverse it! Who wouldn't want to see Errol Flynn in a modern Trojan ad?

Todd said...

"Let's get Mikey!" "He won't eat it. He hates everything."

Pissed Off Hillbilly said...

Oh no, Mrs. Burke! I thought you were Dale!

chuck b. said...

I always liked that Jhirmack shampoo commercial, "And you'll tell two friends, and so on, and so on..." with the number of frames doubling on the screen w/ every repitition, etc

Starring RuPaul or Cher or Madonna, with lots and lots of gratuitous hair tossing.

Toby said...

I'm not sure Jane Withers is still alive, but she could pass the torch to a new version of Josephine the Plumber. A Josie for the 21st century.

Or the Mean Joe Greene ad for Coke, using some current star athlete known for his hot temper.

Of course, at the end of the ad, the kid goes and sells the jersey on eBay....