December 9, 2005

Stern versus O'Reilly.

Have you been watching Bill O'Reilly interviewing Howard Stern this week? It's been highly amusing. In my view, Stern wipes the floor with O'Reilly -- though, as a visual image, I'd prefer O'Reilly wiping the floor with Stern, Stern bearing the greater physical resemblance to a mop. He's so tall and skinny and that hair! But the hair has lost its old Ramones feeling. Now each curl is meticulously arranged, including the long strand that hangs over his eye, trying to act like it just fell forward, but rigidly twirled just so. He must have a hairdresser who follows him everywhere (like Valerie Cherish's Mickey). What do you think Stern's curl-wrangler gets paid?

Stern is so sharp that he makes O'Reilly look smushy. The O'Reilly bluster just can't get going. O'Reilly seems cowed by the knowledge of how damned much money Stern is getting from Sirius radio. Is it $500 million? Stern wouldn't quite say. Is it $500 million? O'Reilly kept asking.

News Hounds -- "We watch FOX so you don't have to" -- summarizes last night's Stern/O'Reilly encounter:
"Who's your audience?" O'Reilly asked.

Stern set the tone for the rest of the interview by answering, "Strippers, hookers and crack whores." Then he tried to explain that he always envisions his audience as a guy going to to work, a buddy in the locker room talking honestly about reality....

From all this, somehow O'Reilly concluded that Sterns audience was a "blue collar guy." Stern shot back with the analysis of the Scarborough Report which concluded that his audience was highly educated and high income.

O'Reilly didn't like that and made a crack about having lesbians on his show. Stern didn't blink answering, "There will always be lesbians. I will give the people lesbian's because theres nothing sexier than two women getting it on." One can only imagine what Bill was thinking?

Before O'Reilly could respond to the lesbian comment, Stern turned to O'Reilly's merchandise sales making cracks about all the "kazari". "Who's walking around with a Bill O'Reilly briefcase?" he wondered. O'Reilly got all indignant and self righteous about giving 100% to charities like Habitat For Humanity but Stern claimed that he didn't believe it.

Making fun of O'Reilly he quipped, "Come outside with me right now!" O'Reilly then suggested that Stern could build houses for poor lesbians.

Stern then accused O'Reilly of selling the stuff out of ego and demanded a jacket for free. O'Reilly offered it on the condition that he wear it. "I won't wear it but I'll give it to a crack whore."
That caused great hilarity chez Althouse.

11 comments:

Icepick said...

I heard Stern compare his hair a few years ago as a Louis the 14th style, which I think is correct.

Years ago, when I still watched late night TV, I would see Stern occassionally show up on Leno's show. From the moment Stern walked on stage, it was his show, and Leno was helplessly floundering trying to regain some sembelance of control. Leno may have been putting on a little bit of 'show' but there was never any doubt Howard was running things.

I'm surprised O'Reilly would have the nerve to let Stern on his show, even if it is taped and editted. (I'm just assuming that part.) Bill's ego must be even bigger than I thought!

Ron said...

and that, my friends, is the best way to deal with verbal thugs of all political persuasions!

Unknown said...

I agree with 'me', the first interview was better. Now that I think about it, isn't Howard Stern more or less the unconstrained-libido doppelganger of O'Reilly? The Evil Twin!

Most of the time I get a kick out of O'Reilly. He reminds me of all the Irish Catholic wiseacres I grew up with. It's a type. Stern is waaay too raw for me.

Pooh said...

I don't warch/listen to him often, but Stern is the gold standard for verbal gadflyery (not a wordm but it should be.) Everyone else is just a poor imitation.

Ann Althouse said...

I'm pretty sure O'Reilly is a much dirtier old man than Stern. I'm also willing to bet: O'Reilly is more into the money than Stern, and Stern is much smarter than O'Reilly. Stern is also much braver and much more honest. Stern versus O'Reilly? Stern wins, hands down. The idea that O'Reilly thought he could best Stern by making Stern look dirty and making himself look virtuous? That must have put Stern in a delightful mood as he walked into that interview.

Harkonnendog said...

It is a win-win for O'Reilly- if Stern mops the floor with him but O'Reilly is cool about it then O'Reilly is a gracious host- if O'Reilly hangs with him it shows he can handle controversial guests- imagine Rather even TRYING to give this kind of interview... impossible.

Laura Reynolds said...

Well they both got what they wanted from it and, like them or not, that's what they are both good at. Sorry for ending my sentence with a preposition.

D.E. Cloutier said...

Stern and O'Reilly both belong in a P.T. Barnum sideshow. Stern can be The Bearded Lady. O'Reilly can be Krao The Missing Link.

Norman said...

Well, right now O'Reilly (and Fox) is about the only right-leaning source on television, if one is looking for that.

I imagine the same things can be said of Rush Limbaugh that have been written here about O'Reilly. But I think instinctively O'Reilly and Lumbaugh both are indeed conservative. But they're making money off of it, and that's not a problem. It's not an issue to be judgmental about, I feel.

XWL said...

Tefta said what I think of these interviews, they are both excellent self-promoters who were playing to their respective audiences and the 'showdown' was about as real as the 'showdowns' before wrestling or boxing PPV events.

Also, At $13 dollars per month, Sirius satellite must figure that the $100M/yr they're paying Howard Stern is justified since he'll add 2M subscribers all by his lonesome, and that those 2M will build word of mouth for their system over XM to grab another 10-15M subscribers over the 5 years of the contract.

They might be right. But what will other successful personalities demand? At some point the numbers get troublesome and this kind of money sets a precedent.

On a completely other note...

I do have to wonder, how Howard would react if someone convinced his two oldest daughters (both over 18 now) to shoot an explicit porn film together?

(He has said many times over, there is nothing hotter than lesbian incest)

Metroplexual said...

O'reilly is insane. He spouts nonsense check mediamaters.org