February 21, 2007

"American Idol" -- the guys.

I didn't blog about "American Idol" last night. You may have noticed. I did watch it though. It was just too boring and bland for me to feel like writing about it. Twelve guys, and they all blended together into a meaningless blur.

By waiting until morning, I have the Television Without Pity mini-recap to point to and quote, and that spares me the frustration of trying to describe something featureless. Well, the recapper -- Joe R-- finds a few things, like:
Chris Sligh rocks out on some song nobody on Earth has ever heard before, particularly Simon, which of course is why he criticizes it. Here's where Ryan really flips his lid, though, as he goads Chris into some backtalk, which references Il Divo and Teletubbies and actually seems to throw Simon off for a few moments. Which is scary as hell, in a "the pilot's dead, who can fly this plane?!" way. Not good times for anyone involved.
I rather liked Simon last night, except when he went into that long self-justification about how he's not rude, he's a truth teller. The thing about him is that he doesn't lie, he will not tell a lie, he is not a liar.

I don't think I'm going to make it through this season. I really just don't care, and, strangely, never have! I don't like the music. They rarely do a song I like.
Sundance continues to take the express train to suck-town, singing "Knights in White Satin" without a single note in tune.
"Knights in White Satin" is the sort of thing that someone might sing impressively, but that I utterly despise. Yeah, "I love you, I love you, I love you." I get it. Very impressive concoction of lyrics there. But can you give me a clue why the knights are in white satin? I picture knights in armor, so... are these satin undies, or what? Hey, wait, it's "Nights in White Satin"!

I do sort of like "Rock With You" and "Careless Whisper," which were sung last night, but they were sung in that way that makes you marvel at how excellent the singing was on the original recordings and how clearly you can still hear Michael Jackson and George Michael in your head... if these clowns would just shut up.

22 comments:

LoafingOaf said...

I gave up my Apprentice habit a couple weeks ago. Didn't plan to. Lost track of it around the Super Bowl and didn't miss it.

But I'm sticking with Idol even though I, too, don't like the music. I don't know why I watch. Just the feeling that America is watching it together or something.

The beat box boy did a good job with the Keane song. Nothing spectaluar, but at least something halfway decent in the middle of all that crap. Anyway, I prefer watching the females sing.

Shocking how awful Sanjaya was. And he should've known Simon wouldn't be able to resist using that boredom lyric against him.

peter hoh said...

Missed it, as usual. Tuesday evening, I'm lucky if I have time to breathe. But I enjoy the review.

Althouse wrote: "I love you, I love you, I love you." I get it. Very impressive concoction of lyrics there.

Reminds me of a comment I heard about certain modren church music. An old-timer called it 7-11 music. He then explained, "Seven words, repeated eleven times."

Madison Guy said...

Another "American Idol" turns 82 today: Wandering around the Rossosphere: The magazine Harold Ross started on this day in 1925, with cover guy Eustace Tilley, has given us gritty journalism as well as pretentious fluff. It has also spawned a host of related blogs. Here’s a look at a few, with subjects ranging as far afield as haiku and chiasmus, with links.

vbspurs said...

"Knights in White Satin" is the sort of thing that someone might sing impressively, but that I utterly despise. Yeah, "I love you, I love you, I love you." I get it.

Hey! I like that song.

That last bit at the end, with the gong never fails to give me goosepimples.

Very impressive concoction of lyrics there. But can you give me a clue why the knights are in white satin? I picture knights in armor, so... are these satin undies, or what? Hey, wait, it's "Nights in White Satin"!

Aw, man.

You mean it's about not Prince Charles wearing satin panties?

Cheers,
Victoria

SteveR said...

Ann: You have been projecting an American Idol bailout for a while. You have been real busy with blogging related nonblogging in addition to your normal teaching tasks. I have given up Apprentice and Survivor and only keeping up with AI via TiVo.

Hard to curl up for a quiet evening
of anything, much less TV

Joe said...

I always thought it was "Knights" and it referred to erections under white satin sheets. But I have also been told I have a one track mind.

SippicanCottage said...

I just came in to mention to everybody that Michael Jackson hasn't been able to sing a lick since Nixon was president.

First term Nixon, at that.

Gerry said...

Apropos of nothing, you know what really cheezy song from the "Nights in White Satin" genre that I really like? 10cc's "I'm Not In Love." I heard an interview with one of the song's composers; I think it was Eric Stewart. He said that the band was getting pressure from the record label to produce a more accessible hit, like a love song. During one of the discussions taking place regarding this meddling, Stewart exasperatedly told the studio's representative, "but I'm not in love!"

And a lightbulb went on.

rightwingprof said...

God save us from the Moody Blues.

Ann Althouse said...

Joe: Funny image. Would look more like a KKK guy than a knight though...

I've already given up on "The Apprentice."

As for TiVo, I've only ever watched AI on TiVo. Maybe I should skip the part where they sing, and just listen to the comments. That's the only fun now.

Joan said...

This is my first year "watching" AI, which means skipping all the Ryan Seacrest crap and listening only to the singing and the judging. So I was wondering about that bit of nastiness between Ryan and Simon, which I thought was rather brutal. Simon has a cruel turn of phrase, but he doesn't criticize without good reason, IMO. Every single performance he ding'ed last night -- which I believe was every single performance -- had problems. I loved that guy who sang last (and best, IMO), who floored the audience, and Seacrest, by saying that he agreed with Simon.

I felt as if there was something hideous going on between Ryan and Simon, and I didn't want to watch it. Much more of that and I'll just take it off the TiVO list.

Re "Nights in White Satin", no one should ever be allowed to sing that ever again, not even the Moody Blues. (Are they dead yet?) They were all boring to one extent or another, sadly, and many of them sang poorly. I think Simon was depressed about the prospects for the rest of the season, with some justification.

Ruth Anne Adams said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Madison Guy said...

"Knights in White Satin" -- pretty cool mondagreen, that. Has the uniquely loopy fantasy-provoking potential of all the great mondagreens. Satin-lined armor, perhaps? And what do you do with it?

Publius said...

Can anyone explain the Teletubbies referrence and why it made Simon wince?

jbisch said...

Publius-
Simon's career has been in hit making and selling records. None of the hits have actually been memorable or particularly artistic, but they've made money. For a while there he was producing novelty records for WWF and The Mighty Morphing Power Rangers and the Teletubbies among others. It's not glamorous or artisticly honest, but it made scrow.

SteveR said...

Joan: Ryan and Simon have been "hating" each other for a long time. I think its a way to transition from Simon's usual spot-on criticisms to the lame reaction comments.

I think they are laughing all the way to the bank

Joshua said...

Agree with SteverR. It's all an act. With the crappy performances they probably figured they had to create some drama.

Beth said...

Sippican, I have to disagree and counter with late-term Carter administration. Off the Wall was a great album, and the picture on the cover was the last one of Michael Jackson looking like a normal, even attractive, human being. He's handsome and stylish in a tuxedo. The album is likewise sophisticated.

And then came the epaulets.

rightwingprof said...

"This is my first year "watching" AI, which means skipping all the Ryan Seacrest crap and listening only to the singing and the judging."

We've been fast forwarding through every syllable that comes out of Ryan Seacrest's mouth for the last three seasons. For the last two, we've forwarded through everything that's not singing. Last season, that was (until you get to the finals) 20 minutes per hour episode. This season, it's about 13 minutes. More drivel every season -- did you notice that before this season, we'd heard all of the top 24 sing before the episode in which they're chosen? Not this season. We'd heard almost none of them, because it was all drivel. I don't care about their personal lives. I don't care what they think. I don't care how they feel. I don't care if they're crack babies.

Like Laura Ingraham said, shut up and sing.

SippicanCottage said...

.The album is likewise sophisticated.

I agree. Quincy Jones is indeed a talented man. But there's no singing on that record I can recall.

PatCA said...

Blake Lewis! Star power.

Also, I like to watch parents singing along with their progeny, hoping against hope they will hit that high note...heck, I'm in for this series.

Apprentice? Feh.

Beth said...

But there's no singing on that record I can recall.

Okay, that made me laugh.

I love his boy-voice most, I agree. There's something sad, and unhealthy, about his failing to grow along with his voice changing.