October 16, 2007

"Thank God the Goats Don't Have E-mail."

Mickey Kaus responds to the rumor.

40 comments:

ron st.amant said...

The National Enquirer has "institutional pride"?!?

Trooper York said...

But I thought Mickey met his friend on Ei-Ei-O Harmony.com.

Comrade X said...

Matthew Yglesias says it can't be true and that guy is hardly ever wrong.

Invisible Man said...

Goats don't have email, but alas they do still use snail mail, which makes me question why Kaus is being so evasive. I'm still waiting for some plausible denial that Kaus doesn't fornicate with goats. His silence is deafening.

Trooper York said...

Cyrus said;
“I'm still waiting for some plausible denial that Kaus doesn't fornicate with goats. His silence is deafening.”
Please note that it was irrefutably established in the case of Clinton vs Starr that the act of oral consumption does not consitute fornication. Ergo, the assumption that Mr Kaus did in fact forincate with said Capra Aegagrus Hircus is to assume facts that are not in evidence. Please review my link to The MacDonald Review of Ghaidos Sexuality Volume 17 chapter 6 pages 9-11.
Sharpen up please.

ron st.amant said...

Please note that it was irrefutably established in the case of Clinton vs Starr that the act of oral consumption does not consitute fornication

Wasn't the basis of the 'oral' argument in the Clinton case that the Jones team had a specific definition of what constituted sex, which did not necessarily include oral sex? Thus, if Kaus does not have an understanding that blowing a goat is sex then he could reasonably deny the allegation. What the goat knows is a whole 'nother question entirely.

Darkbloom said...

All Mickey need do is make the following statement:

"I did not have sexual relations with that goat."

Trooper York said...

Cyrus said:
“Thus, if Kaus does not have an understanding that blowing a goat is sex then he could reasonably deny the allegation”
The precedent of Scottish Law cited by Senator Arlen Spector in the impeachment proceedings has established thats sexual congress with Ovis Aries has through precedent hallowed in english common law is not specificly prohibited by any act of the legislature and is therefore permitted. Mr Kaus stated that the lack of facial hair led him to believe that he was indeed dallying with a member of the genus Ovis and thus was within the law. Please review my citations of the Edinborogh Journal of Young Whethers Behaviour, Volume 19, Chapter six page 22-23. Please review your assertions more carefully before entering the lists with such papable tripe.

Luckyoldson said...

ron st.amant said..."Wasn't the basis of the 'oral' argument in the Clinton case that the Jones team had a specific definition of what constituted sex, which did not necessarily include oral sex?"

No, the real argument was whether of not "oral" counts...if the woman looks like Paula Jones.

Also, as to the goat arguments: It only counts as sex if the goat is willing to lick your balls when things finish up. ("A good goat'll do that."

John Stodder said...

What a brilliant choice by the Democrats to align forces with political activists like these! This will be our party's finest hour.

Luckyoldson said...

John,
You really need to get out of the house. You sound like a 100 year old...goat?

Luckyoldson said...

ron st.amant said..."The National Enquirer has "institutional pride"?!?

I'm not a fan, but they have broken or reported on some stories that even the wingnuts here would be proud of...like:

1. In 2001, the Enquirer uncovered that the Rev. Jesse Jackson had an illegitimate child.

2. Salacious details of the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky affair were first made public by the Enquirer.

3. The Enquirer was regarded by some as having the best media coverage of the O.J. Simpson murder trial. (For example, when a distinctive footprint from a Bruno Magli shoe was found at the crime scene, Simpson vehemently denied owning such a shoe. The Enquirer, however, dug up a photograph of him with just such a pair.)

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Wasn't the basis of the 'oral' argument in the Clinton case that the Jones team had a specific definition of what constituted sex, which did not necessarily include oral sex?

The Jones team offered a definition of sexual relations that would have included oral sex, the judge narrowed the definition in such a manner that giving oral sex was included, but receiving it was not.

Thus, if Clinton is to be believed ( okay, I'll wait 'til you finish laughing...still waiting...are you done yet?...okay ) Monica had sexual relations with him, but he did not have them with her.

Luckyoldson said...

Ignorance is Bliss,
You've got the perfect moniker.

Just one suggestion: "ignorant."

Trooper York said...

Although goats do not have e-mail, it is a fact that they often have herpes.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Lucky-

Glad you like my moniker. In relation to my previous comment:
Is there a particular fact of which I am ignorant, or do you just find me ignorant in general?

I really don't think I post enought comments here to reveal the true scope of my ignorance.

Luckyoldson said...

Ignorance is Bliss said..."Is there a particular fact of which I am ignorant, or do you just find me ignorant in general?"

In general.

The Clinton bashing is so old it could be considered a brand of cheese.

*Have you ever seen the Livingston tapes?

Trooper York said...

Mickey should be carefull. Although goats don't have e-mail, some of them have cellphone cameras.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

No, I have not seen, or even heard of the Livingstone tapes. ( so on that count a am ignorant ) What are they, are they available online?

As far as the Clinton bashing, I did not set out to bash. I was trying to answer Ron's question. As part of that, I started to write 'Thus, if Clinton is to be believed...' and realize what an absurd statement that was.

Bissage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trooper York said...

The French intelligence agency has confirmed that Yasser Arafat caught aids from a goat and it was the cause of his untimely demise. It was all hushed up, principally because it was a male goat. And underage at that.

Bissage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trooper York said...

The goat has long been associated with a rampant unrestrained sexuality. To be deemed goatish has a “dirty old man” connotation, someone dripping with an tainted level of testosterone; someone with a grey speckled goatee, open silk shirt, gold chain with an Italian horn, and a bald dome. You know, sort of like Janet Reno on a good day.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Bissage-

No need to apologize for the interuption, but I was actually trying to have a constructive conversation, so if all you have to offer is 'mindlessly reflexive' insults then you're not really adding anything positive.

Trooper York said...

How about obscure and whimsical observations that might cause the corners of your mouth to slightly twitch in a paroxysm of mirth.

ron st.amant said...

Trooper, Specter also came up with the Magic Bullet...so what was HE smoking?

Kaus (finger wagging): "I did not have sexual relations with that goat, Ms. Scruffy..."

Trooper York said...

The magic bullet was a misnomer. It was a can of Coors (which is of course the silver bullet) that Jackie was reaching for in the trunk of the limo on that fateful day in Dallas. The bullet actually ricocheted off the six pack and caused the fatal injuries. They just don't make beer cans like they used too

ron st.amant said...

appropo of nothing (except the fact this thread has gone to a gutterish hell)...
I was going to live blog the Throne Speech here in Canada tonight, but five minutes in I learned the guy who walks from the Senate to the House of Commons to summon the Members of Parliament is officially titled "Black Rod"...and I was consumed by fits of laughter and missed most of the speech.

Trooper York said...

Also, Mickey's goat is named Billy Budd. Sometimes they dress up and play Horaito Hornblower. But that's another story best not told here.

ron st.amant said...

Trooper, the Zapruder film clearly only allowed for 4 Silver Bullets, therefore the other 2 Silver Bullets clearly indicate a second cooler (perhaps on the Grassy Knoll)...please write Oliver Stone, stat!

Trooper York said...

Strangely enough that is Justice Ginsberg's nickname for Clarence Thomas. I had no idea he was a Canadian.

Trooper York said...

Also the extra cooler was on the Gassy knoll together the brats and the nachos. There were also rumors of chile con carne from a cuban recipe, but they have never been confirmed. Traces of the same recipe were found in the Watergate break-in, but they were attributed to Howard Hunt's poor hygiene.

Bissage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ron st.amant said...

Also the extra cooler was on the Gassy knoll together the brats and the nachos. There were also rumors of chile con carne

Beer, brats, chile...Trooper I think you've finally definitively linked LBJ to the Kennedy assassination!

Ignorance is Bliss said...

(2) Ignorance is Bliss, let me see if I’ve got this right.

You do. I'd be happy to have you as an Althouse buddy, but don't think that insulting anyone is in any way 'backing me up'.

I'd be happy to have Lucky as an Althouse buddy too, although I tend to disagree with his positions most of the time. And I wouldn't want him insulting anyone on my behalf either.

Bissage said...

This is an apology to all at Althouse, but especially to our hostess.

I'm sorry I crapped up the thread with an attack on Luckyoldson that, in part, parodied his standard attack on others.

I've deleted the offending material.

Now, I will log out, spray a can of this and go to bed to dream sweet dreams of Trixie Electra.

Trooper York said...

In Star Trek the Next Generation, Captain Picard had a pet tribble named Squeegee who he dipped in lanolin and took to the holodeck. He won it in a poker game from
Johnny Nucleo.

Bissage said...

I’m back.

I had the weirdest dream. I was playing dominos in a tiny space station or something when this articulate cockroach morphs into Terry Gilliam who offers me cottage cheese and a cup of tea. All six of his feet start tapping. Next thing I know, I’m milking an electric goat while Spinoza and his flying monkey demand a bottle of tranya from the proprietor who has tomato slices for eyes which kind of freaks me out. The Turkish Taffy disappears. Then this green lady with spikes coming out of her head is holding pink flowers in the sunlight. She asks me why I don’t hear the water flowing . . . then I wake up and go to the bathroom which smells like Oust®.

No Trixie Electra, though.

Bummer.

The Exalted said...

mickey thinks edwards should be wary of angering...the national enquirer.

enough said.

Trooper York said...

Bissage, ya know I love to quote lyrics, but can't you post anything but Bob Dylan. Sharpen up Buddy.