November 10, 2008

Cooking a sausage.

A Russian technique, apparently:



IN THE COMMENTS: This picture is bringing out some... male anxiety. And -- unexpected bonus! -- the blogging cockroach:
ooh i love sausage
but i m not getting anywhere near 219 volts
tommy tried this trick cooking
a hot dog the other week
tommy is the boy whose computer i use
who is 12 years old
he learned it from his science teacher
who is 57 years old
and very weird
anyway tommy used two nails
hooked up to wires from an old cord
stuck the nails into the hot dog
plugged that sucker in
humm bzzz frap pow
smoke and steam poured
out of the hot dog
then it exploded
but not before it blew the circuit breaker
mom was just saving an important edit
she had done on a job
that had to go out that day
an hour of work vanished
about like the hot dog
except i found some yummy bits
of hot dog stuck to the wall behind
the curtain rod in tommy s room
no such luck for mom
Then former law student said:
The Presto Hotdogger used the same technique as the Russian process, applying 120 VAC directly across up to six hot dogs. The salty dog is a high resistance conductor. And long before Presto turned this technique into a product, techie types I knew would electrocute dogs using two nails and a suicide cord.

But the LEDs' tapping into the current flowing through the dog to light up is a neat feature.
The cockroach replied...
fls

nails and a suicide cord
is exactly the technique
tommy used to explode his hot dog
some dogs seem to have more
resistance than others
because tommy s drew more
than maybe 10 amps
and with everything else
on the circuit
pow
the breaker blew
maybe it was the aluminum
nails he used
plus it was a hebrew national
hot dog and you know how
they re connected
to a higher power

24 comments:

laura said...

Oh my - somebody has too much time on their hands.

Matt Eckert said...

Do not laugh so fast. The President Elect will be introducing many Russian techniques.

John Burgess said...

Is this some radical feminist idea of subliminal advertising?

Is it a plug for a new cover of 'You Light Up My Life'?

walter neff said...

Obviously this speaks to the professors dark fantasies about the male member. Torture with electrodes attacked seems right in her mind. Whats next, waterboarding?

Paul Brinkley said...

"Let me show you KGB sausage..."

I'm sure Putin is getting hungry right now.

ElcubanitoKC said...

Laura, is not that they had so much time in their hands, is that they had little food choices for almost 80 years. They had to innovate with what they had...

Doyle said...

That's also a picture of what election night felt like to most of your readers :-)

mjsharon said...

Reminds me of these, which were dangrous as hell.

Presto

MadisonMan said...

I think they're only warming it up. Most sausages like that come to you fully cooked.

bill said...

cooking isn't much more than variations on heat + time, so whatever works.

Bissage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bissage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chip Ahoy said...

My dad and two brothers would approve.

I approve on the lack of those disgusting white foam-bread buns. Every time I'm stuck with an ordinary bun, and how these became acceptable is beyond me, I think, "this would be so much better on my own sourdough." And that puts me in the mood to reactivate some starter even though I rarely keep bread around. In fact, this post put me in the mood to reactivate starter. I can always give away the loaves.

Notice, an ordinary hotdog is elevated to the status of sausage.

This is cute, especially the LEDs, at first I took them for resisters, but have you noticed how cheap microwaves have become? I mean, com'on. You can get one for pocket change. Lights. That's funny. Done in two seconds, but with lights to monitor progress.

Cedarford said...

The Russians are natural innovators, like Scots, Chinese, Jews, and Yankees are.

Unlike the other groups, Russians have big balls, and never let no stinking health or safety concerns get in the way of a good idea.

Russians also invented instant-ready barbecuing using charcoal and industrial oxygen bottles.

Bissage said...

P.S. Here's the right way to make a corndog.

LINK.

Ha!

blogging cockroach said...

ooh i love sausage
but i m not getting anywhere near 219 volts
tommy tried this trick cooking
a hot dog the other week
tommy is the boy whose computer i use
who is 12 years old
he learned it from his science teacher
who is 57 years old
and very weird
anyway tommy used two nails
hooked up to wires from an old cord
stuck the nails into the hot dog
plugged that sucker in
humm bzzz frap pow
smoke and steam poured
out of the hot dog
then it exploded
but not before it blew the circuit breaker
mom was just saving an important edit
she had done on a job
that had to go out that day
an hour of work vanished
about like the hot dog
except i found some yummy bits
of hot dog stuck to the wall behind
the curtain rod in tommy s room
no such luck for mom

Bissage said...

Sorry about those deletions.

We are experiencing technical difficulties.

But I'll leave the corndog.

It's cute.

Chip Ahoy said...

Wanna hear something weird?

OK.

As a toddler, I witnessed my younger brother, a tot at the time, stick a hair pin into an electrical socket. BLAM ! It blacked the socket. Sent the kid screaming. Then I felt bad for having seen it.

This put the FEAR in me about electricity. Made a permanent impression. Still scares the living piss out of me. My brother became, and still is, an electrician. Having seen him shocked as a tot, even that scares me. He regales me with electricity-related stories but I cannot rid myself of a feeling of gloom regarding his choice of trades.

Theo Boehm said...

Chip,

I WAS that toddler. Stuck tweezers in a socket when I was 2-ish. Made a real impression on me, something like the cockroach's hot dog above.

For the next act, I stuck a screwdriver in my mother's sewing machine motor while she was sewing. Pretty sparks!!

I then became an electrical engineering major in college, but switched to music when I realized I was surrounded by Dilberts with not a spark in their souls.

former law student said...

mjsharon is absolutely right: the Presto Hotdogger used the same technique as the Russian process, applying 120 VAC directly across up to six hot dogs. The salty dog is a high resistance conductor. And long before Presto turned this technique into a product, techie types I knew would electrocute dogs using two nails and a suicide cord.

But the LEDs' tapping into the current flowing through the dog to light up is a neat feature.

TMink said...

So THAT is how the squirrel got cooked.

Trey

blogging cockroach said...

fls

nails and a suicide cord
is exactly the technique
tommy used to explode his hot dog
some dogs seem to have more
resistance than others
because tommy s drew more
than maybe 10 amps
and with everything else
on the circuit
pow
the breaker blew
maybe it was the aluminum
nails he used
plus it was a hebrew national
hot dog and you know how
they re connected
to a higher power

Dave Schuler said...

This is a common engineering school stunt. We were doing this 40 years ago.

Richard Fagin said...

My comment about the death of the squirrel in an earlier post has been shown to be correct. The squirrel, just as the sausage, was cooked by the resistance heating method.

There will be more than enough voltage drop along the sausage between the leads of a typical LED to light the LED.

LEDs were shown in a 1968 Popular Electronics article. They cost about $10 apiece at the time. Now they're cheap anough to use as throwaway resistance sausage cooking indicators. Think about that next time you're inclined to lose faith in technology.