November 23, 2008

Does Viagra give athletes an unfair advantage?

An unfair advantage in sports, that is. The World Anti-Doping Agency thinks it might and is considering a ban.

Let the jokes begin.

19 comments:

Pastafarian said...

In most contests, I would think that a raging boner would be a distinct disadvantage. I have only to look back upon my own thoroughly unsuccessful junior high athletic career.

Are they thinking of pole vaulting?

Freeman Hunt said...

Let the jokes begin.

I wouldn't dare publicly post the ones I've been able to think of.

Maguro said...

In most contests, I would think that a raging boner would be a distinct disadvantage.

Not at all - I'd a get 12" head start!

dbp said...

I don't see a down-side, as it were, to such a ban. In order to compete in most sports you have to be young and fit, thus are unlikely to need viagra for its intended purpose. Other more sedentary sports like bowling and golf may have players who need ED drugs, but it is hard to see how it would help in sports like that.

Darcy said...

dbp said...I don't see a down-side, as it were

Off the top of the head, I could guess a down side.

Meade said...

Knock knock
...Who's there?
Viagra
...Viagra who?
Vi be so aggravated? It's only a banana in my pocket.
But, yes, in fact I am happy to see you. (Although - on your mark, get set, go - I'd be even happier to see you come...
in...
second place.)

Freeman Hunt said...

What about wives of "impaired" athletes? Is the World Anti-Doping Agency blind to their plight?

Pastafarian said...

OK, I've read the article, and I'm still skeptical. They think that dilation of the blood vessels will aid in oxygen transport, which might help in distance events.

But having had to run distances with this...condition before, in 8th and 9th grade, I can assure you that the flopping about of such an awkwardly placed burden, even when adequately supported, combined with the loss of concentration caused by heightened self-consciousness, must surely outweigh the benefit, for male runners, at least.

And if you're talking about a sport that requires a cup (the article actually mentions football), these devices are not generally designed to accommodate that sort of situation. You'd have to have some sort of special boner-cup custom made, I would think.

Glen said...

Setup:
Structure your own here

Punchline:
Tug of war

Pastafarian said...

Or consider wrestling: Such a situation would actually be dangerous. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

Glen said...

Could revolutionize Men's Judo.

Meade said...

Here you go - you can hang that gold medal right about... here.

Glen said...

It's official:

Johnson for the Bronze
Wang for the silver, and
Buster McThunderstick for the gold

Ralph said...

In the photo, they're testing an athlete lying down with his head on a pillow. What sport is that, and where's his hand?

I wouldn't dare publicly post the ones I've been able to think of.
Tease!

I have no personal knowledge of this, but I don't think Viagra makes you erect spontaneously--stimulation is still required.

Ralph said...

"I couldn’t imagine it not going down on the list, "

Could you rephrase that, Doctor?

Darcy said...

LOL. And where did Mr. Limpet finish, Glen? Did he fail to qualify?

save_the_rustbelt said...

This would add a weapon to the Tae Kwon Do matches.

If you watch the commercials, the men who take Viagra are constantly dragging their women into bedroom and closing the door as the music crescendos.

How can anyone compete from the bedroom.

Some of us can still drag our women to the bedroom without any medications - right after we fund the shopping trip.

blake said...

I have no personal knowledge of this, but I don't think Viagra makes you erect spontaneously--stimulation is still required.

A lot of sports provide that stimulation, though, when you think about it. Just from clothing friction or body movement.

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