December 5, 2008

"I can't tell the difference between Whizzo Butter and a dead crab."

This came up...



... back here (where we talking about the contrived outrage over the "Whooper Virgins" taste test).

Of course, it was our wonderful Bissage again.

Surely, you can tell the difference between Bissage...

... and Quayle...
I hate [when people say something is just so wrong on so many levels that they can't even begin to explain why] because people that say that all the time always try to imply that they deal with multitudes of levels all the time.

But seriously – how many levels are there?

Two? Maybe three, tops?

I actually know a guy that commonly dealt with five levels, but he was from Bayonne, New Jersey.

But this idea that there are so many levels is pure post-modern, crit-studies rubbish.

It is all an urban myth that has its origins in a particular budget fight in the humanities department of an well-known Ivy League University.
... and Chip Ahoy...
The contrived outrage is ridiculous on so many levels I must put down my game of multi-dimensional chess and set aside my 3-D puzzle for the moment and stop multi-tasking this four-course luncheon while responding to this blog entry while doing laundry while simultaneously playing with my puppy to respond to this while keeping open ten other windows and holding three conversations through instant messaging and solving this crossword puzzle.

1) the contrived outrage is ridiculous on the psychological level

2) the contrived outrage is ridiculous on the political level

3) the contrived outrage is ridiculous on the sociological level

4) the contrived outrage is ridiculous on the economic level

4) the contrived outrage is ridiculous on the international level

5) the contrived outrage is ridiculous on the sexual level

6) the contrived outrage is ridiculous on the contrivance level

32 comments:

tim maguire said...

I have no idea what the virgin outrage is all about, but Chip Ahoy has the winning argument when it comes to "levels". Since the speaker gets to define what a level is, there are precisely as many as he wants there to be.

Would Quayle rather the person say, "there is so much wrong with this that I don't know where to begin"? That says the same thing and I'd bet he wouldn't object.

Palladian said...

"Of course, it was our wonderful Bissage again."

No, it was Monty Python.

I hate Bissage! Fuck that asshole!

Ann Althouse said...

Bissage thought of it and pointed it out aptly. Don't be jealous of my love for Bissage!

MadisonMan said...

But he didn't link. That's not right!

Ann Althouse said...

I did have to go find it myself. But the thing is, Bissage just wrote "I can't tell the difference between Whizzo Butter and a dead crab" as if he were just saying it himself. That made it an inside joke, which a link would have spoiled. The humor was better just saying it. See? Good old Bissage!

Ann Althouse said...

BTW, Palladian has been front-paged 43 times, more than any other commenter, and as many times as grass, bald, Israel, Robin Givhan, and snow!

Bissage is at 32 -- tied with France, Swift Boat, Freud, Mormons, pie, Sacha Baron Cohen, Free Exercise Clause, Kevin Drum, and John Lennon.

Chip -- who I bet could do a photo animation of Palladian with grass, bald, Israel, Robin Givhan, and snow and of Bissage with France, Swift Boat, Freud, Mormons, pie, Sacha Baron Cohen, Free Exercise Clause, Kevin Drum, and John Lennon -- only has 22 -- which puts him in the company of Clay Aiken, Tom Cruise ... hmmm.... lawyers, Nebraska, autism, Alaska, Chris Wallace, Katie Couric, apes, conventions, and Jennifer Hudson.

Meade said...

I'd be willing to be in the company of prison rape and dead things with spiders crawling out of their eyes as long as you think I'm hot.

Trooper York said...

Jeeez we are really going to run out of carrots.

Palladian said...

"Bissage thought of it and pointed it out aptly. Don't be jealous of my love for Bissage!"

Grumble, grumble...

She's mine, Bissage!

Palladian said...

"...Robin Givhan..."

And has that bitch ever left so much as one comment?! No!

And don't get me started on Israel! Maybe Cedarford's right! Those wily foreign Jews get "frontpaged" as much as me and what have they ever done to deserve it?! Oh yeah, sure, forming a parliamentary democracy in the midst of a bunch of extremely hostile monarchies and dictatorships and surviving for 60 years so far... but, still, they tie me in "frontpage" mentions?! The nerve!

Ann Althouse said...

Meade's number is 18, a place he enjoys with Anna Nicole, China, cocaine, and Condi Rice. And doughnuts! Sounds like fun... but there's also Jesse Jackson, intelligent design, the Socratic Method, relationships, superdelegates, trolls, and -- you get another commenter -- Sir Archy.

Ann Althouse said...

Trooper York is a 14. He gets the Village Voice, Prince, astrology, rats, Tony Blair, socialism, Goldwater, Stevie Wonder, fake, and cannibalism. You have a choice of 2 places, so choose well: Pakistan or Oklahoma.

Darcy said...

Mmm...doughnuts.

Sound much better than "Whizzo" Butter".

Ann Althouse said...

Meade, my dear, if you could only get frontpaged one more time you could have eggs and happiness.

MadisonMan said...

Trooper, you don't want to choose poorly!

Ron said...

Please, mum, can I be frontpaged for no reason at all? Or would that be ef-frontery?

Quayle said...

No, no, no - Chip Ahoy - those are department, not levels.

I wouldn't mind if people said “that is so wrong in so many departments that I can't even begin to discuss it.”

Then at least we could locate someone in that department that could discuss it.

But levels? Wong on so many levels? That just doesn’t work for me.

I have this image of a girl running the elevator at Macys, like Shirley McClain in The Apartment.

“Is this the Political level?”

“No, I’m sorry. Political is two levels down, just below sexual. This is the Contrivance level but lots of people mistake it for Political.”

Ron said...

Well, I wouldn't go to Shirley McLaine for an argument -- but I would for abuse!

Lawgiver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lawgiver said...

It looks like Palladian has a Love Jones for Althouse.

What's happening, baby
Did you miss me over the weekend
If you did, I'm sorry

But now that I'm here
I don't want to bore you
With an irrelevant conversation
But you see, darling
It's about time for me to
Get real serious about you

Because if someone was
To rip me off of you
I couldn't account for
My actions, after all
And knowing the way I feel
Knowing that you should
Be mine, all the time

But you see
I not only want you, baby
I need you

And the need is so strong
It's almost like that of a junkie
In other words, baby
I just got to have you
Listen to me, darling
Please, listen to me

Love Jones, I got a Love Jones
I got a Love Jones for you
Love Jones, I got a Love Jones
I got a Love Jones for you

What, baby
What is a Love Jones
Shucks, darling
It's when you love someone
Very, very much and you
Just can't seem to
Get yourself together

Ann Althouse said...

Ron, you're a 6. You go with Albert Camus, Cary Grant, and Buddhism. And Larry David, Hendrix, and Joel Klein. Oscar Wilde, Oliver Stone, and Oneness. Oysters, Patti Smith, and poodles. For a place, you can have Bombay or Tibet.

Darcy said...

Oh, Ron! Cary Grant and oysters. Good company. Not necessarily putting down the rest of the list, of course...

Ron said...

Camus, Cary Grant, Oscar Wilde, Hendrix, Patti Smith is mighty damn fine company, and I incorporate a bit of each into my persona as evidenced by my "6".

Darcy and I will share oysters while watching North by Northwest and get back to you later, Dr. A!

I understand the there are heavily discounted hotel rates in Bombay these days.

Ron said...

Ann, on my blog I have 8 posts with you in them, two of which have an "althouse" tag, which I didn't get into until fairly late.

But I do have a birthday post for you, with your then-pic!

Meade said...

I really do deserve eggs and happiness and let me tell you, I am willing to work for them. I will double, no, TRIPLE my efforts in the coming new year of hope and change. Early to bed, early to rise. Eight days a week I will get behind that Althouse blog mule and plow plow plow.

Relationships? As in... relationships? Oh gawd. Are you kidding? At my advanced age I should get credit for life experience. Can't we skip the relationship part and just make out?

Ann Althouse said...

"which I didn't get into until fairly late"

When I start a new tag, I do a search so I can add the tag to all the old posts. It's been a good way to get tags on the old posts. I don't have the patience to go through all the archives from the pre-tag days.

Ann Althouse said...

Meade, "sex" requires a 191. That's the Sarah Palin level.

"Kissing"... that's an 11. See if you can go to 11 -- as they say in "Spinal Tap."

Ron said...

There should be a name for the entirety of the writing on a blog, and it should be downloadable to a file type. That way one can read all of a blog at a setting...

Ann Althouse said...

The individuals with 11 are: Bono, Dick Morris, Gandhi, Katharine Hepburn, Elizabeth Wurtzel, and Einstein. And Krugman, Alterman, and Lieberman. And Sean Penn and the Virgin Mary.

That list is not in the order I'd be willing to kiss them....

Ann Althouse said...

You can download an entire blog with Web Grabber. That's what I use.

Meade said...

""sex" requires a 191. That's the Sarah Palin level."

I'm at 18 and have to get to 191?

Alright, let's do the math: 191 minus 18 divided by 5 equals 35. At the rate I'm going, 35 years to get to the Sarah Palin sex level? I'll be dead in 35 years - transmogrified into a pile of white grit you might even say. *sigh* Oh well. Time to raise my game, so to speak.

That, or else just settle for happiness and eggs. Or maybe better yet - ask for a recount, challenge and have thrown out 7 taggings, and thereby get to eleven as they say in Spinal Tap. Eleven gets me to the kissing level which would be sheer happiness for a slacker such as I.

Eggs? Puh. Way over-rated.

sonicfrog said...

I'm Number 1.