December 16, 2008

It's "Grande Conservative Blogress Diva" time again.

And once again I'm on the list. You may say, but how can Althouse be the Grande Conservative Blogress Diva when she voted for Barack Obama?

1. I voted for Barack Obama because John McCain was not conservative enough. If we are to have a liberal President, it's better for it to be Obama, for so many reasons.

2. The concept of "Grand Conservative Blogress Diva" is explicitly defined in a way that you know includes me: "She need not be conservative herself (at least three of the nominees below are not), but must by the the power of her prose, the eloquence of her expression and the intelligence of her ideas have earned them the enmity of the angry left and so endeared her to gay men like us who admire strong women who speak their mind, even at the expense of encomia from those in the entertainment industry and the MSM."

3. Since this is about being a diva, your quibbles mean nothing to me.

IN THE COMMENTS: Palladian said:
How many of the other nominees have gone perfume shopping at Barney's and Bergdorf Goodman with me, this blog's smartest, funniest and best homosexual?! That has to count for something!
AND: Peter Hoh says:
Hey, who anointed Palladian as "this blog's smartest, funniest and best homosexual"?

Oh yeah, Palladian.

Just like Caroline. I'll have none of it.

I'm calling for a special election.
Hmm. So just as Gay Patriot sets up a vote for "Grande Conservative Blogress Diva," you want a poll for "Smartest, Funniest and Best Homosexual of the Althouse Blog"? Really? Is this something that can work as a poll? Well, I don't think polling works in the "Grande Conservative Blogress Diva" process, since diva status is not susceptible to democracy. Anyone is allowed to vote! How is that a test of who's most "endeared... to gay men"? But it's not diva-like to seem to care. It's not diva-like to beg for votes, which is why it's not diva-like to win the contest. And yet you think we should have a democratic process for "Smartest, Funniest and Best Homosexual of the Althouse Blog"?

Still, I might do it. Nominees?

39 comments:

OldGrouchy said...

Dear professor, you say our quibbles mean nothing to you. So, we are merely your pawns, commenting at your pleasure?

Well, of course it might be said that you blog at our collective whim, that your blogs mean nothing without us. But, that would be much too cruel and we are much too kind!

Consider that all of us are all princes in our own right!

sg said...

Althouse: not really a "conservative," but too funny to be a "liberal."

In any event, she deserves to be on the ballot.

So...unlike in Illinois...let the voters decide!

Zachary Paul Sire said...

your quibbles mean nothing to me

What a bitch.

(And I mean that in a good way, girlfriend.)

Kirk Parker said...

#3: Channeling your inner divaness. :-)

Ron said...

Since this is about being a diva, your quibbles mean nothing to me.

You say sweet nothings like this, and it's like you're proposing to all of us commenters at once!

Very Romantic of you...

Host with the Most said...

You deserve to win, especially this year.

I regularly read 3 of the other nominees, and - as enjoyable and correct they are - no one this election year has been as provoking and ultimately thoughtful as Ann Althouse.

Which is also why:

"Althouse" has the best commenters - left, right, cogent, mean, humorous, the full spectrum - of ANY blog. Anywhere. Period.

And "Althouse" trolls can kick the ass of any and every other blogs trolls. THAT'S How good "Althouse" is.

peter hoh said...

I think Gay Patriot ought to use a few objective measures of diva-ness. How many shoes are in her closet? How many contradictory opinions does she hold? How many eunuchs hang out in her comment threads?

peter hoh said...

Though I have read some of the other preliminary nominees, I don't read the comment threads on any of those blogs.

But I don't think I'm risking too much by betting that none of them get visits from a Blogging Cockroach or a Ghost of a Gentleman, dead these 260 Years and more.

Palladian said...

How many of the other nominees have gone perfume shopping at Barney's and Bergdorf Goodman with me, this blog's smartest, funniest and best homosexual?! That has to count for something!

Kirk Parker said...

Palladian,

Please don't rub it in. Someday, someday, Althouse will come to Seattle and we can even the score with you.

blake said...

"Grande Conservative Blogress Diva" sounds like a new drink at Starbucks.

AllenS said...

I hate to go all Blago on you Professor, but what's in it for me. I'm not giving away my ******* vote for nothing, I've **** **** for a long time, and I just ******* want you to know.

DAMNIT!!

AlgonquinS said...

And another thing, don't treat me like some ******* sock!

Gavin said...

Presumably if you really are the Diva sort you'll be photographed spilling out of some trendy bar with no knickers on at some point in the near future clinging to whichever brain-dead starlet is currently flavor of the week. Bad news is that you will be romantically linked to Simon Cowell as well.

Either that or you'll be demanding your Bloggingheads rider contain only brown M&Ms.

ricpic said...

Quibble away you peasant fools,
Queen Inconsistency rules!

3D said...

Says who?

Lem said...

If you want to vote for me, vote. . . If you don’t want to vote for me. . . don’t.

What a diva might say ;)

Theo Boehm said...

"Althouse" has the best commenters - left, right, cogent, mean, humorous, the full spectrum - of ANY blog. Anywhere. Period.

Host: Absolutely. But I think you might want to find a spot for "flat-out weird" along that spectrum.

montana urban legend said...

Frivolity seeks frivolity.

Michael McNeil said...

And "Althouse" trolls can kick the ass of any and every other blogs trolls. THAT'S How good "Althouse" is.

Plagiarizing Michael can't.

Titushasapartytogoto said...

I want an end of the year award.

Can you think up some special fabulous end of the year award for me?

A prize to go along with the award would be nice too.

Donald Douglas said...

"I voted for Barack Obama because John McCain was not conservative enough."

Actually, originality is usually one of strong points around here ... you're slipping, Althouse.

peter hoh said...

Hey, who anointed Palladian as "this blog's smartest, funniest and best homosexual"?

Oh yeah, Palladian.

Just like Caroline. I'll have none of it.

I'm calling for a special election.

Ann Althouse said...

"Actually, originality is usually one of strong points around here ... you're slipping, Althouse."

Who said it before me? This is not the first time I've said it.

Cedarford said...

Ann asked - "how can Althouse be the Grande Conservative Blogress Diva when she voted for Barack Obama?"

With great difficulty, I'm afraid. It is not the vote FOR Obama and the vote that went AGAINST Mccain that that count in Right Wing Blogs...it is your lack of mindless fealty to the Goddess Palin.
You see, by the logic of the Religious Right and others, your resistance to the folksy, homespun charm and 30-year old attack slogans of the Goddess disqualifies you from being the Diva. They believe you must love the regular hockey mom so much you had vote for McCain despite himself.

Grande Conservative Blogress Diva? Sorry, Althouse, this year you are dead on arrival.

*****************

Smartest, funniest homosexual on the Blog? By all means, you should do the poll....if for nothing other than Palladian nervously watching to see if his vote total rises above one vote or looking to see if DTL is somehow a bigger vote-getter...

peter hoh said...

How is a Diva, conservative or not, supposed to love the plainspoken hockey mom from Wasilla?

I can see how a Diva might admire the way Palin ran up the RNCs charge card at Nieman-Marcus, but I'm not sure that Divas like, or even recognize, other divas.

Palladian said...

"Still, I might do it. Nominees?"

Nominees? No nominees needed, bitch! There's no contest! It's me.

"martest, funniest homosexual on the Blog? By all means, you should do the poll....if for nothing other than Palladian nervously watching to see if his vote total rises above one vote.."

Why don't we have a poll to find out who's the biggest, stupidest Jew-hating paleocon Nazi posting comments on the Althouse blog? I think I know who'd win that one!

Ann Althouse said...

"You see, by the logic of the Religious Right and others, your resistance to the folksy, homespun charm and 30-year old attack slogans of the Goddess disqualifies you from being the Diva. They believe you must love the regular hockey mom so much you had vote for McCain despite himself."

Palin is much better situated as a free agent than stuck in the VP position to McCain. Palin worshipper should be glad Obama won. And if you look back, you'll see that I was not anti-Palin. But McCain's choice of Palin did make him seem incoherent, and that counted against him for me. I don't want an erratic, incoherent President.

Cedarford said...

Awww, whittle Palladian goes humorless and seethes and is full of resentment that someone jokes about his vote total remaining at one. Or joking that the insufferable DTL may cop "Homo Glory" away from our most pompous salami-smoker.

Yes, by all means a poll to confirm or rebut Palladian's inflated opinion of himself.

Who knew he was serious when he requested such a poll?

Ann Althouse said...

"Smartest, funniest homosexual on the Blog? By all means, you should do the poll....if for nothing other than Palladian nervously watching to see if his vote total rises above one vote or looking to see if DTL is somehow a bigger vote-getter.."

Ridiculous. And DTL? I thought of 5 possible nominees and not him. How is he funny?

Palladian said..."Nominees? No nominees needed, bitch! There's no contest! It's me."

Well, maybe not a vote. Maybe just a perfume mixing contest!

Jon said...

Althouse said: "I voted for Barack Obama because John McCain was not conservative enough. If we are to have a liberal President, it's better for it to be Obama, for so many reasons."

If I knew for certain that Obama would not make any SCOTUS appointments, I would have voted for him too, on those same grounds.

Theo Boehm said...

Maybe just a perfume mixing contest!

Nominees? Nominees? We don't need no steenking nominees!

Host with the Most said...

I began reading this blog almost 4 years ago through a quirk of links. The first post I read had palladian commenting, and he was awesome.

palladian is still the reigning commenter IMHO, gay, straight or otherwise.

After the master, I always enjoy
and look forward to reading everything by John Stodder, Simon, Drill Sgt, Pogo, Beth, mcg, Hoosier, Paddy O, trey, trooper and seven. I actually learn things from some of them, too. Several others are also good, but they escape my mind while listening to the lecturer in this class I am auditing drone on and on.

I only occasionally agree with Madison Man and Doyle, but their writing is top notch. Peter hoh is also a great writer. ZPS probably hates my guts - and frankly, I may deserve some of it - but he is often among the more fascinating writers.

And DTL is an enigma to me. Obviously he is radical in his disdain for those who don't toe to his vision of homosexual mores and rights, but he also often writes cogently and has been thought-provoking numerous times.

Even michael can sometimes hit a home run here.

I'm tellin ya': there is really no other blog like this anywhere.

MadisonMan said...

DTL is readable on strictly ecomonic topics. The minute he (she?) strays into social fabric stuff, change the channel.

Or the Chanel, as he's apparently in a perfume mixing contest.

peter hoh said...

Thanks, Host. Back at you.

Jon wrote: If I knew for certain that Obama would not make any SCOTUS appointments, I would have voted for him too, on those same grounds.

Aha! That explains why Obama hasn't named Chomsky or Ayers to any cabinet posts. He's saving them up for the Supreme Court.

Titushasapartytogoto said...

Hello, what about me?

Please no poll. Fags are vicious and competitive and it would be awful. There would be tears, and tiaras being thrown around and wigs being ripped off. It would not be a pretty site or is that sight.

But if we have to say who is the most original fag there is no contest.

Palladian said...

I still think we can all agree that Cedarford is about as smart, funny and entertaining as Margaret Cho doing her act at a John Birch Society convention.

"After the master, I always enjoy
and look forward to reading everything by John Stodder, Simon, Drill Sgt, Pogo, Beth, mcg, Hoosier, Paddy O, trey, trooper and seven. I actually learn things from some of them, too. Several others are also good, but they escape my mind while listening to the lecturer in this class I am auditing drone on and on."

Oh, I said I was the smartest, funniest and best homosexual who comments here. All those other people you mention are much better commenters than me, but they're not homosexuals. Well, except for Beth... forgot about her. Ok, what if I change it it to smartest, funniest best male homosexual who comments here? No, because I also think chuck b. and sonicfrog are better than me and they're "salami-smokers". Oh and Christopher Althouse Cohen. He's better than me too. How about we all just agree that I'm better than Titus, Zach and DTL (assuming he counts as a homosexual... I think he's a 58 year old actuary named Wendell)...

Wait, this is a Grande Conservative Blogress Diva contest! Why are we talking about anyone other than Althouse?! A "diva" would never allow a bunch of homosexual groundlings steal her spotlight! What's happening here?!

chuck b. said...

"because I also think chuck b. ... [is] better than me".

You MUST be joking.

You are waaay smarter or funnier on this blog than I am. I may or may not even be smart and/or funny in other venues (e.g., real life), but the Althouse blog is certainly not my venue for being smart and/or funny. As commenters go, I am not even notably prolific here.

Note: Absolutely anything I say or have ever said here between the hours of 8 a.m. and 6-ish p.m. is usually influenced by tremendous amounts coffee (and the commensurately tense and urgent need to pee).

(Between 6-ish and midnight, it's alcohol [mostly cheap rum or cheap Scotch]; and midnight and 8 a.m., Schedule II-III narcotics.)


As far it goes, you are hands down the master of smart and funny--gay or straight.

However, transcending these mere categories of straight and gay, smart and funny, floating high as a kite in his own lavender firmament: TITUS. I must say! What a show he puts on for us. I am always tremendously entertained.

RR Ryan said...

Sorry, Palladian; I win. And I don't even have to run because I'm special. I am, however, listening to a solo CD by Baby Spice as I type this, so that has to clinch it, regardless.