January 10, 2009

"Five of the pirates who hijacked a Saudi supertanker drowned with their share of a $3 million ransom...."

How terribly not sad.

25 comments:

peter hoh said...

Reminds me of Steinbeck's novella, The Pearl.

garage mahal said...

All Volunteer Coastguard.

rhhardin said...

If the money's lost too (and is in dollars), it's a gift to the US Treasury in that amount.

The Fed notices that the money supply is a little low and simply replaces it.

The same thing happens if you stuff dollars in your mattress. The Fed replaces them until such time as you spend them, and then soaks them back up.

Kirk Parker said...

I think I'll take my schadenfreude out for a little spin.

Tibore said...

I don't quite think I can say I openly celebrate this occurance. We're just talking about a group of two-bit pirates anyway, not a Hitler or Saddam Hussein; they just happened to be close to a gold mine of targets, and any idiot who resorts to piracy can get rich off of that. The point is that they're nothing special as far as criminals go.

On the other hand, I just can't bring myself to feel sorry for them. It's not quite "justice", because their deaths were not brought by a conscious party, but rather by the danger of the ocean, something that will kill unjustly at any other time. But what it is is a balancing. A group of criminals died in (well, actually after) the commision of their acts and did not get to enjoy the results of their crime. It may not be sweet justice, but it is an end that's well earned.

They did not "win". They died instead. It's close enough to justice to be satisfying.

Original George said...

Piracy is one of the few ways to make money on Wall Street. Half the population of America is dependent on government aid, and a whole generation has grown up knowing nothing but Hannah Montana, Halo 3, and Wii Fit. A recent report by London's Chatham House think-tank said Wall Street pirates raked in more than $30 obsquat-u-matillion in bonuses last year.

Manhattan's lawless coastline borders one of the world's busiest shipping lanes, which links stuff to the New Jersey Turnpike. Layoffs have continued despite bailouts and jawboning by the Fed, President Bush, President-elect Obama, and Warren Buffett.

The navel-gazing media has been closely monitoring both the dollar and opening grosses of "Bride Wars," a chick flick loaded with slight gags that has been dumped on unsuspecting audiences and the long-suffering parents of tween-aged cheap-perfume wearing starving girls who suddenly need an extra five dollars for Twizzlers. The seizure of John Travolta's son on Jan. 5 prompted fears that People Magazine might release a crude special issue about celebs' dead children into supermarket checkout aisles, causing an environmental disaster of mind-numbing proportions as a way of pressuring bored housewives to buy more crap. At the time, the crap was valued at $100 million Somali dinars or .15 cents.

chuck b. said...

They should drop bags of poison money. Some kind of quick-acting, short-range poison. Something that makes you turn blue and vomit blood.

David said...

How terribly possibly a lie.

"No need to chase us anymore, folks, we drowned, we're dead, no way you will even find our bodies."

somefeller said...

Arrgh! And now they sleep in Davy Jones' Locker!

TRO said...

I blame Johnny Depp for making it cool again.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Que Sera Sera.

Couldn't happen to a more deserving bunch of scum.

They should drop bags of poison money. Some kind of quick-acting, short-range poison. Something that makes you turn blue and vomit blood.

Agreed.

traditionalguy said...

It couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch of guys. Mayby they were just engaged in a noble attempt to cool off the global warming crisis and even share a cut of the loot with Al Gore's accomplices. kind of like collecting under a Cap and Trade Ration Card system for Global Shipping. Rest in peace you courageous pirate boys.

theobromophile said...

Y'all only think they are dead. Obviously, their compatriots were waiting at the bottom of the sea floor with SCUBA gear and a small submarine. Now, they are enjoying their $3 million on a tropical isle, complete with pina coladas and bikini-clad women, while we ask ourselves if we should mourn their deaths.

It's Tom Sawyer meets the Italian Job.

Eli Blake said...

Well, given that they go out in those little, rickety speedboats, I propose that from now on all ransoms should be paid in pennies.

Ralph said...

"The boat the pirates were traveling in capsized because it was running at high speed because the pirates were afraid of an attack from the warships patrolling around," he said.
One of the relatives whines.

Is our navy so small it can't deal with this, or is Bush letting the rest of the world appreciate our other efforts?

SteveR said...

You'd think with those puffy shirts they could stay afloat.

A'vast ye maties!

jayne_cobb said...

Now, now Ralph, you must remember that as a democratic nation we're not allowed to take any unilateral actions.

Eli Blake said...

It depends where the warships were from. The Indian navy has recently opened fire on several pirate ships and sunk at least two (though in a third case they accidentally sank a ship that had been comandeered by the pirates, which was not technically a pirate ship.)

On the other hand, I suspect that U.S. warships would not have that authorization (remember the 'occupation rules' when we were in Somalia between the end of 1992 and mid-1993, when in one case a Somali teenager literally grabbed the glasses off an American soldier's face and the soldier got in trouble for chasing the kid and tackling him?)

peter hoh said...

Chuck B. wrote: They should drop bags of poison money. Some kind of quick-acting, short-range poison. Something that makes you turn blue and vomit blood.

Already been done, only worse.

It was barrels, not bags. I'm not sure if the toxic waste counts as a quick-acting poison, but I'm pretty sure that it's not a short-range issue.

Steven said...

Ralph —

When there are no U.S. nationals aboard a ship that isn't owned by any U.S. nationals and is registered to a non-U.S. country, we generally let the countries that have people or assets or whatnot at risk decide how much force we will use. If they want us to go in guns blazing, I expect we would; they generally don't.

Under standard international law, sure, the U.S. is allowed to take military action against those pirates, over the objections of the parties with direct interests. But military action risks that some of the original crew (taken hostage by the pirates) might get killed, or the ship might get sunk, and then we've got the countries with direct interest complaining about things.

If you think the U.S. should take a more-violent, damn-what-other-countries-think approach to things, write Obama; he takes over on the 20th.

heywoot said...

The Somali Olympic swim team needs a new coach - only 2 of their guys made it to the finish line.

But, on the bright side, 3 more muslims hit the virgin jackpot.

knox said...

Somalia seems like hell on earth.

Mark O said...

Our forbearance is wonderful to behold.

We have no longer the luxury of nonchalance. Suppose, just for the moment, that you are a terrorist and that you see the USA fumbling with a credit crisis, lacking any real leadership, and you see the bizarre “Office of the President-elect,” prepared to appoint the likes of Leon Panetta to the CIA and the others who oppose harsh interrogation to oversight positions. Would not now be a great time to hit the country with something that further diminishes not only the economy but the phony notion that this is a war that will end with only some stern negotiations?

Such an attack would seriously wound the country irrespective of any real damages.

John Burgess said...

chuck b: No, slow-acting is far better. It disguises the direct intent.

Eli Blake said...

Somalia seems like hell on earth.

Pretty much....

On the other hand, places like that (Afghanistan is another prime example) breed terrorists, and if we ignore them then the terrorists attack beyond their borders (as is happening here). Mostly ignoring al-Qaeda (or ineffectively responding to them) eventually led to 9/11.

Say 'nation-building' if you like, but the truth is that we have essentially three options-- 1. ignore them and let them attack us, 2. go there and attack them militarily, which generally results in a long, expensive and possibly bloody military action, without any guarantee of a satisfactory outcome, or 3. combine limited military action with spending on trying to make the countries a better place where kids have something to aspire to besides blowing themselves up (it was our failure to do this in Afghanistan following the defeat of the Soviets that allowed the growth of the Taliban.)

I know it sucks, and you probably detest spending U.S. taxpayer dollars to build schools in other countries when schools in the U.S. are badly in need of repair.

But consider the alternatives, and there really isn't a good one out there. Even McDonald's, Coca-Cola and Disney (which I consider our secret weapons against Iran) would never open a franchise in Somalia.