January 5, 2009

I answer your questions.

Yesterday, I noted the questions each of which, according to SiteMeter, brought 1 person to this blog. I intended only to mock, but then I actually answered the questions. Why should I mock? I can answer the questions and do some small particle of good in this world.

In that spirit, let's answer today's questions:

who is msm?

A miserable left-wing fool.

what type of jobs will obama create?

According to Rush Limbaugh, today, these will be military jobs, and you won't need to apply for them. You will be drafted.

what to stockpile for an economic crisis?

Bottled water, peanut butter, toilet paper, powdered milk, granola, and V8 Juice — as much as you can fit in your house.

what happened in the movie doubt?

Meryl Streep pursed her lips and Philip Seymour Hoffman got red in the face.

what do men wear to sleep in?

Shorts.

24 comments:

Ron said...

It's good you're trying to be funny. Really. It's touching, even poignant.

chuck b. said...

Noone asks you about light bulbs? I find that hard to believe. You have a lot to say on that subject.

Michael_H said...

Who put the bomp in the bomp she bomp she bomp?

Who put the ram in the ram a lam a ding dong?

Who was that man? I'd like to shake his hand.

Michael_H said...

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Original George said...

Does Barack smoke johnnycakes or eat them?

ricpic said...

Since a surrealist stepladder is limp a surrealist could never climb up it and screw in a light bulb.

Donna B. said...

Most interesting search term that brought one visitor to my blog today is:

sniffing snot unhealthy

I think I've accomplished my goal of lowering the intelligence level of every comment thread I've posted to today. I like attainable goals.

TitusnottheeGorilla said...

Can Rush get drafted?

No he can't. He's too fat and a drughead.

It would be a beautiful picture seeing him in an uniform though if they could find one to fit him.

Bruce Hayden said...

Rush is too old, and likely sat out his 1A eligibility after he dropped out of college. So, even if the draft age were lengthened to include 57 year olds, and the physical requirements were relaxed to accept him, the Selective Service would still probably have to draft every male from 18 to maybe 54 before they could get to him.

The 54 year old estimate is based on the fact that 1972 was (I believe) the last year in which anyone was drafted in the general pool (Physicians, etc. have always been a different story). And that was the year that the average 54 year old today was 18.

Fred Drinkwater said...

MH: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I believe the canonical answer to that is 2: One to hold down the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly-colored machine tools.

However, I remain dissatisfied, even unfulfilled, by that answer, and must continue wandering through chuck b.'s thumbnail photo until I find a better.

Bruce Hayden said...

Obama's problem here is that the federal government cannot, per se, really create jobs. It can pretend to, as it most assuredly will try to. But the reality is that it will ultimately kill more jobs than it creates.

Many of the jobs that it "creates" will be high pay, union scale, jobs, due to the effects of Davis-Bacon, which requires payment of the prevailing wage in most government contracts, with is invariably defined to be the prevailing union wages, regardless of how much of the local labor force is unionized.

But before you celebrate all those high pay jobs, keep in mind that they will mostly come at the expense of a lot more lower paid jobs. So, we may see part of what is so dysfunctional in "old" Europe right now - great pay and even better benefits for those who do have jobs (or are retired from them), but sky high unemployment, esp. among the young, and even more so among young immigrants.

Joe Welch said...

Missing label: lameness!

heywoot said...

what do men wear to sleep in?

Nothing.

Shorts are outdoor clothing.

And Noone knows all he needs to know about lightbulbs - please listen to his remake of "Two Silhouettes on the Shade".

save_the_rustbelt said...

what to stockpile for an economic crisis?

also:
canned fruits and vegetables, batteries, ammunition, cans of gasoline and kerosene, first aid supplies

might as well do it right

save_the_rustbelt said...

Bruce:

Rush was given a medical deferment, because he had a cyst on his butt.

The truth is often stranger than fiction.

m00se said...

You know, I'd been hiding the shameful secret of sleeping in shorts up til now. Now that Ann has let us know it's OK - I'm a new man!

*whew*

Lem said...

Answer this one.

A lone intern, Lewinsky runs circles around Panetta not once, not twice, but something like eight times.

And now he is the best choice to find Bin Laden?

dbp said...

I liked yesterday's question, "why do men like collarbones?"

I don't know why, but I do really like them.

TitusnottheeGorilla said...

Rush Limbaugh in a miltary uniform would go perfect at the Dore Alley Fair.

Original George said...

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Bob Dole.

Michael_H said...

Original George - you nearly had the correct answer!

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

A fish.

David said...

"Shorts"

Is this an exception to the men in shorts rule, or its source?

section9 said...

Remember, this is Change We Can Believe In!

All together now....

"Strength Through Joy!"

theobromophile said...

Not as good as Donna B's, but this search term brought someone to my old blog yesterday:

kissing of women need me