February 10, 2009

Wondering what jewelry to wear for Valentine's Day?

"Wear your heart…on your ears. These tampon heart earrings display both your romantic sentiments and your menstrual pride."

35 comments:

Salamandyr said...

"menstrual pride"?

Hoosier Daddy said...

Wow, that's classy.

chickenlittle said...

Adornment for bleeding hearts.

Meade said...

That reminds me...

Ladies: Please dispose of used tampons properly. An example of improper disposal would be leaving it on the ground next to the trail where my dog finds it a brings it to me as if she has just scored the yummiest squirrel or rabbit.

Believe me: I'm sure I'm not the only man who will find your careful disposal behavior not only appealing but really somewhat romantic.

Thank you in advance. Oh, and kisses xoxoxox

Meade said...

"kisses," I mean, but not on the ears/neck.

Balfegor said...

Ah, thank heavens. It's just food colouring. Was worried there for a minute, because you never know with people these days. Particularly the sort of person who talks about "menstrual pride."

Bissage said...

My career in show business never got off the ground.

For my big debut I was going to sing and dance and play the banjo wearing a ragged suit and black face.

Just before the curtain went up I doubled over in pain.

That’s right.

You guessed it.

Minstrel cramps.

Mob said...

So, what exactly is the point of pride here? That you have the ability to menstrate? Is it volume? Duration? Regularity?

I'll admit to a bit of pride after a pretty hefty dump, but I don't think the ability itself is something I'd brag about. (Although ability isn't really the right word here. It's more like a biological imperative. Just try to choose not to exercise that "ability".)

Also, what happens to all that menstrual pride when you hit menopause?

Meade said...

Speaking of Valentine's Day, I was thinking... for all the men and women who have crushes on Althouse, both large and small, why don't we start a list of the reasons why? We could call it "25 Things That Make Ann Althouse So Damn Attractive"

Here, I'll get it started:

#25 - Fearless fashion advice, flowingly freely given

Ann Althouse said...

Look, if Titus can be proud of his "morning loaves," the ladies can be proud of their colorful dabblings.

MadisonMan said...

The beauty of these earrings: Say you're out hiking in white pants somewhere and are caught off-guard by a too-early period. Just use your earrings until you can get home or to a drugstore!

fcai said...

I think this is all about frightening muslims and Andrew Sullivan.

Drew W said...

That tampon art site is a hoot, albeit a vaguely disturbing one. Maybe I'm just jealous. What do men have that could match the tampon for its ubiquity, as well as its possibilities? (When I was a destructive junior high student, I was counseled that if you wanted to make a molotov cocktail that wouldn't blow up in your hand, use a tampon.)

Personally, I've always wanted to fashion soft-sculpture animals out of my used odor-eaters, but I never remember the idea until after I've thrown them out.

chickenlittle said...

#24 - She dabbles in humor.

onparkstreet said...

What is it with a certain type of feminism and bodily fluids? Ugh. I remember seeing Vagina Monologues a few years ago and thinking," hmm, maybe men are right about us women." I just could not understand that play. I saw it in 2000 or 2001 in a theater in Chicago on New Years Eve, and after the play, my friend and I raced back to a party at a restaurant and laughed and laughed about it.

onparkstreet said...

Oh, wait, is that site a joke? Who can tell ANYMORE?

Drew W said...

Here’s a quick postscript to what I said above. The one time I actually made a molotov cocktail, I did use a tampon.

It was incredibly uncomfortable, for one thing, but I found that even after using it, I could still go swimming, play volleyball, ride bikes, go shopping, meet my prom date, etc.

David said...

Minstrel Cramps! Oh, wonderful.

Paul Zrimsek said...

If they were really proud of all that bleeding, they wouldn't be using plugs to soak the stuff up, now would they?

john said...

This is just depressing. There are so few avenues for personal expression left to men. After breakfast I thought about this for awhile in my thinking spot and was suddenly reminded of one area where men can artistically hold their own on this level.

Hoosier Daddy said...

Look, if Titus can be proud of his "morning loaves," the ladies can be proud of their colorful dabblings.

Professor, consider the source.

TMink said...

"Look, if Titus can be proud of his "morning loaves," the ladies can be proud of their colorful dabblings."

So if I am proud that I almost never read Titus because of his poopcentric life, I can be proud that I see that this too is trash.

Cool!

I was in a band, we had minstrel pride.

Menstrual pride is as large a dose of bullshit as I have read in a year. Maybe in a decade.

Trey

traditionalguy said...

The tradition that life is contained in the Blood has added certain reactions to bloody things that take a singlemindedness to overcome. Shock value of bloody things is like that of the serious auto accident, taken off the travel lanes, but still demanding every car of humans, as it passes, to slow down and stare. And of course the Surgery nurses watch out for the fainters. So remember to give blood at the Red Cross today in honor of the St Valentine's love of the living, and wear your pearl earings.

Tibore said...

"Ann Althouse said...
Look, if Titus can be proud of his "morning loaves," the ladies can be proud of their colorful dabblings."

"Hoosier Daddy said...
Professor, consider the source."


I'm with Hoosier Daddy here. As a data point, Titus is an outlier, you know?

Pogo said...

Women have much more to be proud of.

Artful bras.
Safe for work, too!

TMink said...

Well, while I find little of import or interest in Titus's posts, I would not call him and out and out liar.

Trey 8)

Paul Zrimsek said...

Pogo makes a good point. Being proud of your menstrual flow when you also have breasts is kind of like being proud of your 6 handicap when you're Beethoven.

Henry Buck said...

And for you teenage and college-age guys, this Valentine's Day just dangle a pair of stiff socks from your ears to show off your pride in your very own sex-specific bodily fluid.

amba said...

ACK.

Tibore said...

Well, this could be worse... they could be peddling condom hoop earrings... :-S

John Burgess said...

Join the movement to celebrate Valentine's Day and Let's Go Naked Day both on Feb. 14!

This will end the interminable questions about 'What to Wear on St. Valentine's Day'.

traditionalguy said...

Didn't the Feminists once push the wearing of IUDs as earings? When in a hurry for quickie birth control, the ladies could always find a spare. So do these earings imply she is a catholic on the rythm method, but safe for a quickie? Someone alert the Pope.

Michael H said...

#23 She is always willing to blog about breasts, whether hers or others.

************

An over-eager golden retriever jumped up an broke my nose when I arrived home one afternoon a few years back. I went to the nearby walk-in clinic for help stopping the bleeding and to find out if I needed to have a splint put on my schnozzle. (Don't laugh - I didn't know how to treat a broken nose).

The bleeding was stopped by a helpful nurse inserting a tampon in each nostril. That's how I drove home. Threats of extreme violence were required to prevent laughing family members from taking photos.

Psychedelic George said...

Go with the flow.

Palladian said...

"Well, while I find little of import or interest in Titus's posts, I would not call him and out and out liar."

Yes, when he posts shit about shit is probably true. The rest of his shit, however, is shit. Bullshit to be precise.