March 24, 2009

"Obscene, but absolutely hilarious."

According to Right Wing News.

Okay, now I know what's right-wing hilarious. And I'm a little scared.

Especially the part that got me thinking about egg salad.

IN THE COMMENTS: The wonderful Bissage:
I can’t watch the video right now. I’m probably not the only one, so let’s see if something else might suffice:

Bill Bennett walks into an upscale D.C. nightspot and is surprised to see Pat Buchanan sitting at the bar eating an entire chicken. He watches in amazement as Mr. Buchanan tears into the hapless bird and doesn’t stop until all that remains is one chicken wing.

Mr. Bennett says, “You know, Pat, I can’t help but notice you ate that entire bird except for the right wing.”

Mr. Buchanan wipes the slobber and chicken bits from his face and says, “Well, there’s a reason for that but it has nothing to do with my right-wing political inclinations.”

And with that, the ghost of William F. Buckley appears out of thin air and kicks them both in the balls. They double over in agony and fall to the floor. Mr. Buckley sits down at the bar and orders an egg salad sandwich.

The End.

31 comments:

Seven Machos said...

That's not right-wing hilarious, or particularly hilarious.

Peter V. Bella said...

It's not even mildy humorous.

Bob said...

And the pickle. Don't forget the pickle.

Allahpundit from Hot Air linked that on Twitter yesterday, by the way.

I remember a while back seeing a clip from a game show in Japan; when a contestant got an answer incorrect, a pole would swing out of the floor and strike the contestant in the 'nads. The funny part there was watching the anticipatory grimaces and antics of the contestants.

HelenParr said...

I guess it's funny to those who do not own actual cocks, or keys to testicle lock boxes.

MadisonMan said...

It reminds me of the joke in 3rd grade: What was Jed's last name? Then they say Clampett, and you grab.

The presenter needs to work on his Sham-Wow! immitation.

MadisonMan said...

...and why is it deemed obscene?

Seven Machos said...

Madison Man -- It's a common trope of the right wing to make such statements. I remember reading an article in National Review once. I believe it was by Rich Lowry. It was about the summer party scene out on Long Island, or something similar. He felt compelled to mention that, of course, he wasn't out looking to find some woman with a sizzling rack to have wild sex with. He wanted marriage.

It's not something that keeps me from being a conservative, though it is annoying. There are similar tropes on the left. The variety is different, but the silliness is equivalent.

mcg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mcg said...

Eh, it's not that funny. And it's also not obscene. Obscenities do not make something obscene, as odd as that sounds.

Meade said...

And I'm a little scared.

YOU'RE scared!

dbp said...

What is wrong with you guys? I still have tears (of mirth) in my eyes.

The testicle shot is pretty old, but combining with an infomercial parody it totally works.

Peter V. Bella said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peter V. Bella said...

Now this is funny.

Bissage said...

I can’t watch the video right now. I’m probably not the only one, so let’s see if something else might suffice:

Bill Bennett walks into an upscale D.C. nightspot and is surprised to see Pat Buchanan sitting at the bar eating an entire chicken. He watches in amazement as Mr. Buchanan tears into the hapless bird and doesn’t stop until all that remains is one chicken wing.

Mr. Bennett says, “You know, Pat, I can’t help but notice you ate that entire bird except for the right wing.”

Mr. Buchanan wipes the slobber and chicken bits from his face and says, “Well, there’s a reason for that but it has nothing to do with my right-wing political inclinations.”

And with that, the ghost of William F. Buckley appears out of thin air and kicks them both in the balls. They double over in agony and fall to the floor. Mr. Buckley sits down at the bar and orders an egg salad sandwich.

The End.

Beta Conservative said...

Is that a true story Bissage?

It has a ring of authenticity.

Balfegor said...

It has a ring of authenticity.

Really? I'd have thought Buckley more the type to jab them with the ferrule of his cane. Has a bit more elegance than kicking them in the balls.

Peter V. Bella said...

Was Buckley wearing shorts?

Gahrie said...

Was that any more sophomoric or unfunny than SNL and their famous "Dick in a Box" skit?

Dick jokes are old school, whether from the right or the left.

Seven Machos said...

Gahrie -- You miss the humor in Dick in a Box. What was funny was that it was Justin Timberlake doing a very funny impression of a bad impression of Justin Timberlake.

The Crack Emcee said...

Embarrassing:

You guys can go on and on about that lameness called Flight of the Concorde, but don't get this ("Dave Matthew's Band") or "Dick In A Box"?

You're hopeless - you probably like Dave Matthews - and, as such, it's no wonder our society seems doomed.

You deserve a hit in the nuts.

essaybee said...

The only thing that bugs me about Dick in a Box is that it's not Cock it a Box. That's a bit more euphonious.

Gahrie said...

Seven Machos:

I'm not attacking Dick in a Box. I like a good dick joke as much as the next guy. I brought it up as an example that dick jokes are neither new, nor exclusive to the right.

Skyler said...

The video is stupid and not even slightly funny.

And I don't understand the Buckley joke, unless it's a Chicken or Egg thing, in which case it is also not even slightly funny.

Seven Machos said...

Skyler's post is much more hilarious than anything heretofore mentioned. The lack of intention or even self-awareness borders on criminal.

I have a law degree, Skyler, if you want to sue the people who had a responsibility to educate you.

AlphaLiberal said...

That's funny, eh?

Right. And Mallard Fillmore was a laugh riot...

Skyler said...

Seven, who the heck do you think you are? Go learn some manners. Do you talk this way to people in person? If so, how much blood do you lose on a nightly basis?

Joe said...

That video wasn't remotely funny, but it's not the first time the video links from Conservative Grapevine don't live up to the tag (or make any sense for that matter.)

Bissage said...

Gee whiz, Skyler, I feel kind of bad you didn’t like my little joke. I was just trying to make people happy. Guess I sort of let you down. I apologize.

Tell you what. How about I make it up to you with another joke, only this time it’ll be really, really funny. I promise:

A giant chicken is missing his left wing and he walks into a bar. He says, “Hey barkeep, give me a beer, a pack of smokes and an egg salad sandwich.”

The bartender says, “Sure, I’ll serve you whatever you want but I didn’t know you guys ate that sort of thing.”

The giant chicken says, “You’re right, we usually don’t but I just got done fucking my brother’s sister.”

And with that, the ghost of William F. Buckley appears out of thin air and kicks him right in the balls.

Seven Machos said...

Skyler doesn't get it.

Skyler said...

Yeah, but at least I still have all my teeth, smart mouth.

Revenant said...

I liked Bissage's joke. The "cock shot" thing was boring, though.