August 27, 2009

"Tap-tap-tapping at your chamber door (only this and nothing more)."

Just one of 60 literary expressions signifying masturbation.

(Via Metafilter, where the list is immensely extended.)

34 comments:

rhhardin said...

Rob Bartlett the other day on Imus wondered (as Larry King) whether "pound the flounder" could be used for both male and female masturbation.

Paddy O. said...

The Raven has just been ruined for me.

Widmerpool said...

Sparring with the champ.

rhhardin said...

Don't miss this fine introduction to Poe.

Widmerpool said...

And certainly a connection between this and your Farrah Fawcett post, for those of us of a certain age and gender.

EDH said...

She Bop!

We-hell-I see them every night in tight blue jeans--
In the pages of a blue boy magazine
Hey I've been thinking of a new sensation
I'm picking up--good vibration--
Oop--she bop--

Do I wanna go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop--or I'll go blind
Oop--she bop--she bop

She bop--he bop--a--we bop
I bop--you bop--a--they bop
Be bop--be bop--a--lu--bop,
I hope He will understand
She bop--he bop--a--we bop
I bop--you bop--a--they bop
Be bop--be bop--a--lu--she bop,
Oo--oo--she--do--she bop--she bop

(whistle along here)...

Hey, hey--they say I better get a chaperone
Because I can't stop messin' with the danger zone
No, I won't worry, and I won't fret--
Ain't no law against it yet--
Oop--she bop--she bop--

She bop--he bop--we bop...

Chip Ahoy said...

Really?

REALLY?

⚡⚡⚡ REALLY ??!!!?? ⚡⚡⚡

How rude! That ruins Poe for me permanently.

EDH said...

BTW, I think Cyndi Lauper's reference to

I hope He will understand

is a reference to the "third man," if not God himself.

traditionalguy said...

One is the loneliest number. I remember in 1965 a good news story headline read that "The Marines beat off the Viet Cong at Long Dong". I kid you not.

Lem said...

Coaxing Salinger to come out and play.

Hilarious.

Charlie Rose interviewed a woman (i forget her name) that had gone and lived with Salinger when she was a young woman. She then wrote a book about it and thats why she was on the show.

She said that Salinger’s diet made her stop getting her period. No joke.

Chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chris said...

"Shaking hands with the unemployed"

from Malachy McCourt

"Punching the clown"

from a Texan friend of mine

Synova said...

I hate this sort of thing.

Why not just say that *everything* has to do either with jerking off or with homosexual love and get it over with?

"Well, I got up this morning and checked my email on my iphone."

*snicker* "Your iphone." *snicker*

"Er, yeah. Then I poured some cereal in a bowl."

*har har* "Poured into a bowl, eh?" *har har*

"Put milk on it."

*blubber* "Milk!" *blubber*

I mean, seriously! GAWD! Just make it stop.

Chip Ahoy said...

That does it! Synova's right. You ruin Poe for me, I'll ruin these for you.

Excalibur

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Romancing the Stone

Cheers for Miss Bishop

Beyond the North Pole

Beating Down the Washington Post

Shaft Has a Ball

Balls and Strikes

The book flap

Yank On the Hill

Pulling the Lion's tail

Tear jerker

BJM said...

Mustn't forget "Master of Your Domain"

Ryan said...

One more masturbation tag and we have a theme for the day!

Paddy O. said...

"You ruin Poe for me, I'll ruin these for you..."

Having dinner with Andre

Meeting with Dr. Strangelove

A supposedly fun thing I'll (try to) never do again

Going fast, cheap & out of control

Sofa King said...

I mean, seriously! GAWD! Just make it stop.


I think you meant to say, "Say no more!"

dbp said...

42. Putting the "wad" back into "Henry Wadsworth Longfellow"

Classic!

Dusty Fog said...

Whenever I need a euphemism for jerk-off I just say "AlphaLiberal."

NKVD said...

I b'lieve I'm gonna dust my broom.

WV - untat - yet another euphemism...

AllenS said...

I hope nobody thinks I'm kinda wierd or anything, but Christie Brinkley working out on Chuck Norris' exercise contraption, kinda turns me on. Especially, when she turns and smiles at me.

Oh, baby.

WV: hempe

I don't even need to smoke any of that stuff to get turned on by Christie. Oh, baby.

kent said...

"Doing It For Teddy"

MamaM said...

"The Wasted Testicle?" My mind is still stuck in militia bar mode.

Always good to include an eye-catching graphic for those who find it difficult to stay the course.

Lem said...

Lets make it current, shall we?

The conversation.

MamaM said...

A testicle is a terrible thing to waste...

wv perstere...persistence in attempts to steer conversations elsewhere

Ann Althouse said...

"42. Putting the "wad" back into "Henry Wadsworth Longfellow""

Funny, we were just joking the other day about Wadsworth Longfellow. I think a couple days ago I said in a comment that it was a great porn star name.

Oddly, we were watching "Back to School" on TV yesterday, and it had this conversation between Rodney Dangerfield and a student in a hot tub:

Thornton Melon: What's your favorite subject?
Bubbles: Poetry.
Thornton Melon: Really? Well, maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.

Methadras said...

Rubbing one out is a good one.

Does Lion of the Senate count too?

Ann Althouse said...

@Paddy O LOL

Meade said...

"Paddy O LOL"

Who authored that? Twain? Joyce?

Surely not Dickens.

Methadras said...

"Tap-tap-tapping at your chamber door (only this and nothing more)."

Hey does this mean that "Knock, Knocking on heavens door" has a new meaning now?

Data Schlepper said...

How about "practicing the Vulcan Death Grip"?
Or is that insufficiently literary?

Oligonicella said...

VORTEX!! I understand now! That's just female masturbation!

wv: murrunt - sound made by female towards end of masturbation

Paddy O. said...

"Who authored that? Twain? Joyce?

Surely not Dickens."

I think it was one of Wilde's. A tale of high society witty banter during afternoon tea on the veranda.