December 15, 2009

First dibs.

Last dibs.

61 comments:

traditionalguy said...

Body builders in a roid rage. I expect that he dissed them by claiming equal use of a machine they had staked out as their territory. Body building is all about getting a sort of respect among men totally lacking social skills.

traditionalguy said...
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Largo said...

On the corpse? I want the liver. (Does anyone have onions?)

Largo said...

My Samoan attorney wants the pineal gland.

Largo said...

I just made a discovery.

Lorazepam + alchohol = loss of inhibition.

Ron said...

Totally ripped!...in half.

Leather Daddy said...

I had dibs once, but penicillin did the trick. Sadly, many cases of dibs are penicillin resistant now.

Pogo said...

It's going to be hard to nudge upward the below-average lifespan of the black male in America when the sentence for disagreements while exercising is death.

A whole generation of young men sees death as little more than fodder for a rap song.

The Crack Emcee said...

"A whole generation of young men sees death as little more than fodder for a rap song."

Ha. You say that like they're wrong. You've created a society where betrayal is the norm and think - what? - that some glorious lesson about life will be passed along? Bullshit.

Even my dumb ass knows, no matter how you lying asses try to spin it, it's all becoming more worthless by the minute,...

Hey - that almost rhymed!

EDH said...

Something strange about somebody calling two friends to the gym to help kill a guy over dibs on an elliptical machine, and they do it.

Aside, I find the elliptical machine a waste of time. The step mill is how to work up a sweat.

Plus you're too high in the air to be hit over the head with a hammer.

A two-fer.

wv-"orksh" = please keep Mork's home planet a secret

Pogo said...

"You've created a society where betrayal is the norm and think - what? - that some glorious lesson about life will be passed along? Bullshit."
Have to agree with you there.
No lessons are taught here except to hide the evidence better.

"...no matter how you lying asses try to spin it, it's all becoming more worthless by the minute,..."
I dunno. This entropic anarchy seems to occur repeatedly in history, and then there is a renewal.

It sucks to live through the era of decline however.

Largo said...

EDH,

I am now imagining the man on the machine having an epi-lliptical fit.

I don't know if that is funny or not. But life is so peaceful in my world right now.

knox said...

You say that like they're wrong.

Oh, you don't believe that.

Largo said...

Pogo,

Medical advise requested. There is a significant propensity to physical dependence with Lorazepam, correlated with both the frequency of use and the dose. There is also significant synergetic interaction with other drugs (including alcohol).

Suppose two drugs L and M have similar rates of dependance. Lets assume linearity in some sense, and say that eight times a unit dosage of L over a fixed time yields eight times the physical dependency. Assume the same for M.

If a unit doses of L and M are combined, resulting in an effect eight times (ie the effects of L+M, Lx8, and Mx8 are similar), is dependancy likely to increase 8-fold, or is the risk/degree of depencancy simply the sum of the risks for L and M?

Pogo said...

No one knows, as combinations have never been studied to answer that.

Best guess is common sense: dependency is greater in those with a history of dependency, with a family history of dependency, with a history of abuse or PTSD, and with multiple medications (e.g. narcotics, benzos) especially combined with alcohol.

Lorazepam is not a good med for long term use, generally.

The Crack Emcee said...

"Oh, you don't believe that."

Bullshit. Like most black people (not to get racial on you) I'm watching the society the rest of you are creating - socialist president, with a pervert in charge of schools, and a NewAge belief system, etc. - and I know there's no right or wrong as far as y'all's concerned: it's just fodder for jokes and shit. You don't actually care. So why not kill someone? Or die? Or drink yourself silly? Or anything?

You've, literally, stripped life of what makes it worth living.

And, Pogo, this ain't America in decline but America stuck on stupid. When y'all decide to snap out of it - and stand up to it - it'll change course again.

Paul Zrimsek said...

You've, literally, stripped life of what makes it worth living.

Hey, there's still nooky.

Largo said...

Thanks Pogo.

I've had zolpidem and zopiclone, which give me terrible munchies at night (not good with diabetes). Was just prescribed Lorazipam as a trial. Concerned myself about dependency issues, hence exploring tonight a synergistic effect with minimal dose.

Amount of alcohol not extravagant, and wife is monitoring. Hope that will allay any natural/occupational concerns you may have.

The Crack Emcee said...

"Hey, there's still nooky."

I rest my case.

knox said...

I'm watching the society the rest of you are creating - socialist president, with a pervert in charge of schools, and a NewAge belief system, etc.

"You"? I'm a graphic designer, not Jim Jones. Seriously, I don't understand who this "you" is.

Ann Althouse said...

We love you, Crack.

knox said...
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knox said...

As usual, Althouse sees through it all and administers the much-needed "hug."

The Crack Emcee said...

"'You'? I'm a graphic designer, not Jim Jones. Seriously, I don't understand who this 'you' is.

Ever read Native Son? Anyone, here, who can't see (by my stands against NewAge, socialism, racial thinking, etc.) that I'm trying to change it's premise is "you".

According to MLK, one day, my country is going to be "my country". I want it to be in my lifetime. I've embraced it. When is it - and not just Ann (kiss) and Meade (hug) - going to embrace me back?

former law student said...

Body builders in a roid rage.

Let's try another exercise in stereotyping. The only Hings I know are Chinese. Are Asians -- sneaky, treacherous, like the Japanese at Pearl Harbor -- the new racial menace to be feared?

AllenS said...

From the article:

Douglas Smith, 50, was knifed and clobbered with a hammer by a pair of muscleheads who attacked him as he worked out at his East Flatbush health club.

[Emphasis added]

The were not body builders in a roid rage, but muscleheads, with household objects.

AllenS said...

Nothing says stereotyping, like Chinese muscleheads with hammers.

AllenS said...

... sneaking around like some Jap in a airplane, ready to throw hammers out of their airplanes at our battleships.

Beth said...

Pogo, what the hell are you thinking, creating a society where betrayal is the norm? I've told you to knock that shit off.

Pogo said...

I guess i just can't help tinkering with my creation.


Next year, grandiose and theatrical hand gestures will be the norm.

Or maybe madras pants.

Can't decide.

Ron said...

As usual, Althouse sees through it all and administers the much-needed "hug."

An Althug as it were, eh, Knox?

traditionalguy said...

I second the "we love you" to Crack who tells it like it is. There is no society men can live in without having an Authority over it.Even Atheists say the have one too. Throwing out our traditional Authority of family centered Judeo-Christian based Laws and turning instead to being decieved by Cults as replacement for missing authority in our life is to get stuck on stupid.

The Crack Emcee said...

Beth,

Yea, like you ain't part of the problem. "Snark" is what you got, along with the usual defiance, in defense of what? Pin-point accurate phrasing?

Please.

That's the oldest racial/racist trick in the book. What's next? You gonna keep me from voting because I can't recite the Declaration of Independence or something?

I don't know who you think you're fucking with but I can see through you.

William said...

This is a story with no moral and no applicability to life as it is lived on earth. Sui generis. A one off. No one in the past and no one in the future will ever again die in a turf war over an elliptical machine....It's interesting to note that the aggrieved party had not one but two friends who were willing to come to the gymn and commit murder on behalf of their friend. Maybe it's a gang thing. At any rate, although it's the dumbest murder of this week, the dumbness will soon be surpassed....The bright side: here stupid murders are a retail event; in Iraq and A-stan, they are merchandised wholesale.

Lem said...

Thats a little strong Crack vis-à-vis Beth.

The Crack Emcee said...

I hear you, Lem, but Beth's approach is so common to black people it's crazy - and should be addressed as part of that racial continuum. My friends and I used to notice it when Phil Donahue had a show:

Let a black person speak - y'know, "just talking" - and Donahue would ignore the point and critique the phrasing.

It's why, at the beginning, so many of us turned to Oprah.

Out of the frying pan,...

Pogo said...

Me, I'm getting tired.

I've been bitching about this stuff for years, and I see it at as a losing battle. I doubt I have swayed one person with my writings.

Seems like I grew up on some other planet, as even my siblings do not think like I do. My grandfather is the last one who held similar views, and he died 10 years ago.

Maybe my task is more akin to the monks in the middle ages, hiding the sacred knowledge from the barbarians, until the world is again ready for it.

Or maybe I'm just a fucking lunatic. I once submitted a paper to 7 different journals entitled Is There is a Right to Health Care? (I said no); colleagues treated me as if I were quite mad. The responses suggest the editors were horrified by my call for self-responsibility and charity.

So maybe I am nuts.
Tired, and nuts.

Sofa King said...

Pogo -

Perhaps I will join you on the funny farm one day. We can call it the Gulch.

Matt Eckert said...

See that's why excercise is bad for you.

None of this would have happened if they were at Dunkin Donuts.

Matt Eckert said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt Eckert said...

And Crack, you need to get laid dude.

Take a lesson from Tiger and pay for some strange.

You will feel a lot better I promise.

The Crack Emcee said...

Matt,

That really is y'alls answer to everything, isn't it?

I started fucking at the age of 5 (Foster child). Had my first grown woman around 10. I am so over what the rest of you seem to be enthralled with as adults - most of you didn't get any until you were teenagers!! If Tiger was as mature as I am on this subject, he wouldn't be in this mess.

Y'all's totally fucked up - and allowing society to be that way - because you think with your privates.

You're idiots.

Matt Eckert said...

You truly are a wonder Crack.

No wonder you are such a happy fella.

John Lynch said...

I don't see this as a race-specific thing at all.

Here in Durango an FLC football player got shot in the leg over a parking space.

Big men are used to getting their way. Sometimes, rarely, a smaller man just won't take it and pulls a weapon. It's stupid to kill someone over exercise time, but ego does that to people. People will kill over status.

Most fights are about disrespect, not anything concrete. Some of them turn deadly. This one unfortunate occurrence isn't all that special.

I hate going to the gym. I broke my elliptical. I got it second hand, and I think it was designed for someone one hundred pounds lighter than I am. I need to buy one that won't break, but they're pricey.

Beth said...

That's the oldest racial/racist trick in the book.

Fuck you, Crack. Your schtick is to attack people, personally and collectively. You can't see me at all, through the giant pile of crap you're immersed in.

Matt Eckert said...

Don't be so hard on the Crack.

Everybody loves a minstrel show.

wv: peacedat, need we say anymore during this joyous holiday season.

Pogo said...

@Beth:

I have decided:
Madras pants are the new norm.

Cedarford said...

EDH said...
Something strange about somebody calling two friends to the gym to help kill a guy over dibs on an elliptical machine, and they do it.


Unfortunately, EDH doesn't understand the "new rules" regarding gangs and multiple callee cell phone texting. Each gang member under "rules" can summon help to a scene by texting multiple hoods...and under those rules..any free and close to the scene hood has gotta come.

This is a new danger the police are well aware of after this cell phone tactic was pioneered by anarchist protestors and by Muslim thugs burning down French baneuls. Then quickly diffused through gangs. You no longer face an individual confrontation, potentially..but a well-informed mob with all the chance that the augmented violence common when mobs form will happen.

--------------------
Matt, Crack Emcee was right to scorch you. He is discussing what he believes is an important matter near and dear to him, and you just condescend and try to negate his opinion as "simply needing to get laid more".
Its the same infuriating crap some clueless men do, hearing a women is very angry about some political or personal or economic issue - and giving them back a smug diagnosis that they are only angry because "they failed to get happy by shopping more".

Try your little "diagnosing" crap on a few ladies you know, Matt, if any.

And fuck you also on this snide little bon mot:

Matt Eckert said...
Don't be so hard on the Crack.
Everybody loves a minstrel show.

AllenS said...

Jesus H. Christ, Matt Eckert, ain't you never heard of the fuckin Jews.

Beth said...

Pogo, they're very slimming!

Matt Eckert said...

Thanks Cedarford. I bet you didn't even know that I am Jewish.

I guess the one trick ponies have to stick together.

William said...

You are fighting over who takes precedence on the elliptical machine.

veni vidi vici said...

"I guess the one trick ponies have to stick together."

Or stink together, as it were.


wv: "ghtsc" -- Goatse man in an idiom rich of inner-bowels yet devoid of vowels.

The Crack Emcee said...

I always love the suggestion that I should be a happy guy:

I've lost my wife, lost my mother-in-law, lost all my money, lost most of my friends, lost my home, and got no family.

My country's been taken over by a worthless do-nothing socialist (who I told you was a worthless do-nothing socialist) just because he's black - and I hate the American racial obsession - meanwhile, a cult of Chicken Little's are screaming "The End Is Nigh!" on a daily basis (and people actually take them seriously) while Oprah's spreading medical misinformation, encouraging magical thinking with The Secret (and being taken seriously) and her friends are killing people in sweatlodges, but the media is still calling her a moral force in American culture.

I'm now expected to lie - to others and, I guess myself, that a 5,000 year old spiritual practice (that makes people go insane in India) is exercise when done here. I'm supposed to accept that water is medicine and waving your hands over someone is "healing". And - oh yea - if you move the furniture around you'll somehow be in for a lot of money.

People showing me their tits/dicks/asses is now considered an achievement in the arts, making all those years I spent becoming good at drawing, painting, and making music pretty useless. (Thanks for the tip to "pay for some strange" - presumably in a dark alley somewhere or, like Tiger, in a parking lot: who knew? It seems to have done wonders for his mood as well,...) Oh, and music - the true "love of my life" - pretty much sucks now, too.

Meanwhile, I rant and rave that we should use common sense, stop falling for simple-minded scams, and expect more from one another as fellow citizens and what do I get in return?

You.

Yes indeed, I've got everything in the world to be happy about.

Let me tell you something, "Matt":

For the last month-and-a-half, I've been helping an 89 year-old woman, with one tooth in her mouth and a bum leg, fight some unscrupulous businessmen who took advantage of her for $10,000. We haven't beat them yet, but we will, because I don't give up on anything but the idea that people as shallow as you will ever understand the kind of compassion that a person like me can have for others in a time of need.

Anyway, this week, she insisted on taking me out to lunch for my efforts on her behalf. She even got all dressed up with lipstick and everything, like she was my girlfriend, and we caused quite a few stares - this little old hobbling lady with her big black escort - two Navy vets, sitting in a restaurant, enjoying the company of what may be the only truly honest people we knew. And that, my friend, made me very, very happy - happier than any piece of ass I (or you) have ever had. You should try it sometimes, instead of desperately, pathetically, sadly, wondering what hole you're gonna stick your thing in next to feel good:

Based on your shallow outlook, it sounds to me like you need it much, much worse than I do.

traditionalguy said...

Thanks Crack. Your last comment made my soul sing. Have a good night.

The Crack Emcee said...

Good night, traditionalguy, sweet dreams.

Largo said...

I regret my first two comments I made at the top of this thread last night. I did it without reading the linked story. I just read it. *sigh*

Crack, nice story about you and the lady. The folks you mentioned were probably staring as something they've never seen: class.

Matt Eckert said...

Everybody is a hero on the internet.

The Crack Emcee said...

Oh, so now I'm a liar, too? Man, what a piece of work you are.

"Everybody is a hero on the internet."

Except for you.

Matt Eckert said...

The difference is pal; I do not claim to be one.

I am happy to just be a harmless troll.

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