December 11, 2009

"The lesbian sex was between a Spanish teacher and a French teacher..."

"... which begs the question: Where was the field hockey coach?"

The late-night talk-show comics scrambled to concoct jokes about the 2 high school teachers who were discovered by the janitor. I've highlighted the Conan O'Brien effort. How awful it must be to get caught naked at work! That's bad enough. But then to be vaulted — naked! — into the national spotlight and to becomee the biggest joke target in the country — even with Tiger Woods begging for more.... What a nightmare!

44 comments:

Salamandyr said...

Heck, he ought to invite them on the show.

I understand at least one of them was married. Too bad they didn't have the common decency to do it at home where he could watch.

AllenS said...

Shouldn't they be teaching sex education?

Bissage said...

Looks like there’ll be no reclaiming “begs the question.”

traditionalguy said...

Teaching Romance languages requires a skilled use of bi-lingual tongues for pronunciation, and this required that they practice proper tongues usage in the lab. How silly of this uneducated janitor to immediately think in the gutter. He probably doesn't even know how hard it is to learn proper tongue usage in French and Spanish.

Jeff Gee said...

"Begs the question" doesn't mean what Conan thinks "begs the question" means.

Pogo said...

Geez, is no one going to say they were a couple of cunning linguists?

Anyone?
Anyone?
Bueller?

Quasimodo said...

*This liaison is stamped APPROVED by Obama's safe schools czar.

Pogo said...

And as for "What a nightmare!"

That's not what I call those dreams.

Original Mike said...

My question is, What's up with the janitor?" He turned them in? {shakes head uncomprehendingly}

David said...

Of course these ladies are not fired. They are sent to the "rubber room," which is a facility where New York teachers go, at full pay and benefits, to sit for years while their lawyers dither over their punishment. In many cases they win the appeals but no school will take them. So they go to the rubber room, continue to collect pay and generally make their union proud.

wv="mixens" (I did not make that up.)

Brian said...

Queue the song:

"I've got it bad! Got it bad! Got it bad!
I'm hot for teacher!"

Sung by Melissa Etheridge.

No surprise all the commenters are guys at this point.

WV: meadi. As in Meade-like?

EDH said...

In this instance, shouldn't they be sent to the "dental dam room"?

knox said...

No surprise all the commenters are guys at this point.

LOL. Yes my thoughts were less imaginative. I was just wondering why they didn't go somewhere where they could lock the door. Stupid lesbian foreign language teachers!

kcom said...

"I was just wondering why they didn't go somewhere where they could lock the door."

I bet you they did lock the door.

And I bet you they thought they were safe.

And I bet you the janitor came along with keys to every door in the building and unlocked the door to clean the room.

And I bet you when they heard the key turning in the lock they said, "Oh, shit!"

And I bet you they didn't have nearly enough time to rectify the no-clothes situation when they heard the key in the lock.

And I bet you when the janitor walked in the door he, too, said, "Oh, shit!"

And I bet you the rest is history.

Alex said...

What kind of a country is this when "hot teacher" can't have undisturbed lesbian sex AT school?

Icepick said...

Geez, is no one going to say they were a couple of cunning linguists?

You left out the part about them being masters of many tongues.

(That may have been Deep Purple's most Spinal Tappish song.)

William said...

The thing about all these teacher scandals is how good looking the women are. Are good looking women more inclined to take chances with their sex life than the weight watchers? Their students, already drenched in hormones and fantasies, will never be able to form a realistic view of life. Only in porn movies do gorgeous teachers meet in the classroom and rub their hot bodies together in orgiastic frenzy. If that kind of thing starts happening in real life, it will be very hard for the average student to keep his mind on the conjugation of irregular verbs.

Florida said...

"But then to be vaulted — naked! — into the national spotlight and to becomee the biggest joke target in the country — even with Tiger Woods begging for more.... What a nightmare!"

Are you fucking kidding me, Ann? These whores just hit the big time! They just won the carpet-munch lottery.

There will be million-dollar paydays at the end of this for both of these lesbos.

Cover of Playboy.

Invites to all the pro golf events.

They'll be hosting the 2010 Oscars by the time this gravy train pulls into the station.

dbp said...

If that kind of thing starts happening in real life, it will be very hard for the average student to keep his mind on the conjugation of irregular verbs.

Or the conjugation of irregular teachers, for that matter. NTTIAWWT

bearbee said...

Shouldn't they be teaching sex education?

Show and tell.

Teachers, Letterman, Tiger Woods, all role models.

dbp said...

One must wonder though if this happens a lot more than we thought. I would never have reported the teachers had I been the lucky janitor. I bet 9 out of 10 janitors would just file it away into their spank-bank and keep quiet about it.

The real interesting question is what motivated this janitor to come forward? Maybe he was telling his buddies about it and the story spread.

XWL said...

Is it really so hard to have satisfying same sex relations partially clothed?

I thought it was common knowledge that when enjoying the company of another in a semi-public place, you keep most of your clothes on, and merely move things aside as to provide your partner access to key points and crucial times. For women, the flowing peasant skirt, sans panties, is an excellent way to go.

These are the kinds of things that should be in Kevin Jennings "safe sex" kits, solid information, not fisting gloves and dental dams.

Bart Hall (Kansas, USA) said...

Apparently a ... cunning stunt.

WV=palsing, how appropriate

Ricardo said...

Look at the bright side. This could boost enrollment in language classes. I'd certainly consider going back for some continuing education.

p.t. fogger said...

Talk about hot for teacher:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0XLKcMoXRE

Scrutineer said...

Conan, as you predicted, "you're in for a lifetime of 'And you went to Harvard?'"

Bissage, don't give up.

vbspurs said...

PLEASE tell me I'm the first commenter with a "cunning linguist" reference.

Cheers,
Victoria

vbspurs said...

wv: TORTULERO!!! Which is damned damned close to "tortillera". Lem and Spanish speakers will understand.

edutcher said...

And, apparently, another woman teacher at the same high school(!!) was found doing the horizontal waltz with a student.

Sometimes life just hands you material...

WV "deflo" What you go with...
(Case in point...)

Kensington said...

Hottest story of the week; it almost makes me forget the nightmare Kabuki show going on in Washington.

Oh! And according to the story I read, one of the teachers was known amongst studients for wearing "hot, sexy clothes!"

HOT SEXY CLOTHES, people!

vbspurs said...

HOT SEXY CLOTHES, people!

That's Ms Brito, who suddenly decided to dump her hot sexy clothes (literally) for a mohawk and tats. The other one censured any negative mention of homosexuality by her students, especially when they used the South Parkism "gay" to describe something uncool.

That's gay.

Cheers,
Victoria

vbspurs said...

I was going to say that I was raised by nuns so this would've never happened, but you know........

Synova said...

"My question is, What's up with the janitor?" He turned them in?"

That was my first thought as well.

I mean... huh?

It didn't involve a student so I can't see the point of tattling.

kentuckyliz said...

They should be reassigned as GLBTQQQ counselors in the school.

WV nonshi
Yeah, shyness doesn't sound like it afflicts either of these amazons

Scrutineer said...

"South Parkism"? It predates Parker and Stone by at least a few decades.

Paul Zrimsek said...

Estaré en mi litera.

Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...

There's something fishy about this story.

wv: rutfunse. LOL.

Kensington said...

Wait! I'm terribly sorry. It's not "hot, sexy clothes," it's "fun, sexy clothes."

FUN SEXY CLOTHES, people!

The Crack Emcee said...

"What a nightmare!"

For them or the rest of us? I mean, as far as I can tell, this is what life's becoming on a daily basis, isn't it? Supposedly smart people who are too stupid to do the right thing? (Yes, the janitor turned them in, probably because he wasn't "sophisticated" enough to know the situation those two whores presented him with (Two teachers, at school, fucking during working hours) was supposed to be an all-purpose turn-on. (Synova, now it's my turn to be ashamed of you: WTF? There had to be student involved to know this was wrong? Sheesh.)

Actually, I take my question back:

I'm obviously the one living a nightmare - y'all's just featured in it.

Youngblood said...

Synova wrote:

"It didn't involve a student so I can't see the point of tattling."

Apparently, the janitory thought that they were students, and having seen their pictures, this is believable.

Skyler said...

Someone asked how could such smart people do such a dumb thing? They're high school teachers. They might be given rides on space shuttles but they're still high school teachers. Not usually very bright.

Of course the janitor had to report this. Can you imagine the criminal liability for knowing of this behavior potentially in front of minor children? It's a no-brainer to report it.

Kev said...

The first "cunning linguist" reference I ever heard was in this song (no video, but it's the original version of the song--far superior to another live one I found on YouTube).

Any other Tubes fans on this thread?

Youngblood said...

Skyler wrote:

"Of course the janitor had to report this. Can you imagine the criminal liability for knowing of this behavior potentially in front of minor children? It's a no-brainer to report it."

No. Really. He thought that they were students, not teachers. That's why he reported the incident.

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