December 15, 2009

"The noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain... I have never ever heard anything like it."

It's the noise of a woman having sex. And she's pleaded guilty to the crime. 
"It certainly was intrusive and constituted a statutory nuisance. It was clearly of a very disturbing nature and it was also compounded by the duration — this was not a one-off, it went on for hours at a time. It is further compounded by the frequency of the episode, virtually every night."
That should be a crime.

59 comments:

rhhardin said...

Goffman considers the sexual moan.

Michael Hasenstab said...

Buy a gag ball.

Hey, was there any video evidence, and does anyone know how to file a FOIA request in Britain?

John Lynch said...

Move to the country.

former law student said...

England will remain unlivable until detached housing becomes the norm.

Sheepman said...

To satisfy their neighbors, they should use sexy stuff insulation.

SteveR said...

If I had to deal with either one of those two, I'd want to get it over with as quick as possible.

Adele Mundy said...

That would be a ball gag Michael.

I know you just said it wrong because you don't want to seem to know too much about it.

That's why you call it a bildo.

Nice try, but we are on to you.

Hoosier Daddy said...

I remember my honeymoon night when Mrs. Hoosier wondered why I was wearing earplugs and noseplugs. I told her there were two things I couldn't stand. The sound of a woman screaming and the smell of burning rubber.

edutcher said...

I don't think the neighbors are her real problem. Rachel looks like she hasn't had any in a while.

She either needs ear plugs or to rent "When Harry Met Sally". A lot of people make noise - then.

Also, this is the kind of society people like Bambi and Kerry think we should be?

This is why we fought a Revolution.

traditionalguy said...

Let me see, everynight for hours at a time. That poor man needs to be rescued. Or maybe Tiger Woods can hire the woman away to be one of his event coordinators.

knox said...

Nice try, but we are on to you.

Irony, anyone?

Adele Mundy said...

knox, you are so young to be so cynical.

t-man said...

Maybe they were in pain, because they were using one of those sexy fiberglass insulation mattresses.

EDH said...

If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.

AJ Lynch said...

Sheepman:

That was funny!

reader_iam said...

A Daily Mail columnist compares decibel level of couple to other sounds.

ricpic said...

What's with the sex madness on Althouse? I could understand when you weren't gettin' any but now you're gettin'. So what's the story, morning glory?

Tibore said...

"The noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain... I have never ever heard anything like it."

Sounds like she's doing it wrong.

(*Ducks*).

ricpic said...

"This is what happens when the safety valve of empire has been removed."
--Winston Churchill

AllenS said...

Today, Obama has a Cash for Caulking Program. Tomorrow, there will be a Cash for Sound Proofing.

All hail the O!

knox said...

Maybe they were in pain, because they were using one of those sexy fiberglass insulation mattresses.

"sexy fiberglass" LOL

Lem said...

That should be a crime.

I recall a former Playboy playmate from Fla (I forget her name) who later became a porn star herself was a loud screamer..

Yes, as I recall, her name was Terry Wiguel.

I know, I know.. A porn star should hardly qualify as a bench mark.. but my point is what if some people are naturally predisposed to be loud?

There is nothing 'criminal' about it.

AllenS said...

Maybe, Steve Cartwright's aim isn't that good, and he's been using the wrong hole.

Chris said...

This reminds me when my brother used to live above the spanking lesbians. Every Saturday afternoon they would have a loud spanking party which I thought was totally hot until I actually saw the participants.

Michael Hasenstab said...

Buy a gag ball.

Sorry Adele, but I meant a gag ball. You know, one of those balls with jokes all over it that an angry neighbor can bounce against someone's wall.

Anyhow, I hope the guy in the noisy couple was wearing a flubber. Imagine how difficult it would to keep a child from awaking in such a noisy household.

That neighbor looks like she's into blondage.

FormerTucsonan said...

Remember, kids! Insulation not only saves electricity, it helps with soundproofing too!

Perhaps Althouse should send them the link to Obama's Home Depot speech.

bagoh20 said...

This is completely unnecessary. I have my sex partner's sounds of satisfaction saved on my Ipod which I wear during sex with or without her. She is prohibited from providing any ad lib at this point. We are a nation of laws God dammit! Britain is apparently the wild west, devoid of any civilization.

Revenant said...

I'm pretty sure those two are the ugliest people I have ever seen associated with a news story about sex.

And they did it for hours at a time? Gah, unwanted mental image.

Penny said...

Why is it people can only imagine the attractive having sex?

Penny said...

You might find this list of common examples of decibel levels interesting.

http://www.quietsolution.com/Noise_Levels.pdf

After reading this, I've concluded this is one of those British laws they pull out to use on whomever gets in their crosshairs. Conversation is 50 dbs, for example.

I'd be flaming mad if I were the Cartwrights.

AJ Lynch said...

Chris said"

"the spanking lesbians lived downstairs"?

I bet you have plenty of stories and should consider putting them on a blog. Spanking lesbians. Heh.

bagoh20 said...

"Why is it people can only imagine the attractive having sex?"

As long as it's MY imagination, it's gonna be my rules. I'm absolutely stunning there.

Penny said...

"I'm absolutely stunning there."

We ALL are! It must be the lighting guy.

Pogo said...

Reminds me of this scene in Forrest Gump (the first 1:15 sec).

HT said...

This post is for me!!!

I had constant problems with the bed and my upstairs neighbor which after reading this account I suppose I should be grateful for.

But I obtain vicarious satisfaction nonetheless.

HINT for those who live in apartments and have noise problems with neighbors, post delicately on blogs that you think your neighbor will read. I did that, not naming names of course, and soon the problem abated somewhat.

And yes! I bouncy ball is still in the offing for downstairs neighbor and HIS noise.

Ritmo Brasileiro said...

Every successive comment on this thread (which is about nothing out of the ordinary) is being posted by yet another person who is very likely not having sex at that moment.

Wankers!

Ritmo Brasileiro said...

You should all start f*&%ing your significant others more often. It will help you get through your perceived pain of the Obama years.

It will also make you less prude and more likely to support the transformation of the GOP into a party that doesn't believe in such magical things as anti-Keynesian economics, and of course, abstinence-only education.

Michael Hasenstab said...

Ritmo, how are things on your planet tonight?

Youngblood said...

Ritmo Brasileiro blathered ineffectually:

"Every successive comment on this thread (which is about nothing out of the ordinary) is being posted by yet another person who is very likely not having sex at that moment."

Look at the big brain on Ritmo! Sherlock friggin' Holmes rides again!

RLB_IV said...

Hey Ritmo, been hung out to dry by any more Brazilian chicks lately?

Maybe it has to do with how you relate to women and people in general. Therapy might be an option.

The moniker Montana Urban Legend is appropriate for you as you surely are a legend in you own mind.

Good luck, Ritmo

Ritmo Brasileiro said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ritmo Brasileiro said...

Looks like that comment got under some people's skin.

Which makes my supposition that they're not getting any that much more likely.

RLB_IV said...

Ritmo, you have only been acknowledged as present tonight.
Isn't that what you want from this blog? Why the hostility?

Ritmo Brasileiro said...

I just posted a comment I thought was funny and informative. And after it strangely elicited a few hostile comments, I posted another funny one. So it really doesn't appear that I'm the one with a problem, R Leonard Part 6 or whatever your name is.

jeff said...

where were the funny ones? Did Alhouse delete them? That really blows. As do you, of course. HA! I made a funny!

Ritmo Brasileiro said...

Oh, that's because they were thoughtful, too. I know smart and fun don't go well together in your book. It must be confusing.

Is everything worth this much of a fight with you guys? Sometimes I think you guys like to fight just for the sake of fighting more than you like a good fight, or anything else.

Michael Hasenstab said...

Ritmo, we no longer seek disagreement with you, in whichever of your many names you post. This has become the Blog of Peace.

Nighty-night and sweet dreams, my dear friend.

Youngblood said...

Ritmo wrote:

"Looks like that comment got under some people's skin."

Not really. I just couldn't let your moment of sheer unadulterated genius pass without comment. However, as you'll see in a few moments, I understand why your first assumption would be that you got under my skin.

"Every successive comment on this thread ... is being posted by yet another person who is very likely not having sex at that moment."

Read what you wrote carefully.

What you wrote would include you, if you didn't notice that while you were typing. The whole, "Hurrh hurrh, I'm better than you 'cause you're not getting laid because you're commenting on a blog" attack tends to work better when it's not delivered via a comment on a blog.

(And, y'know, it doesn't take an Einstein-level IQ to figure out that people don't post on the internet while they're playing hide the salami. Just in case you thought you were going to alert the world of your breakthrough discovery.)

"Which makes my supposition that they're not getting any that much more likely."

Oh, I'll freely admit that I'm not getting any at the moment. I'm not particularly uncomfortable with that and I'm not so insecure that a random fuckwit on the iternet saying, "Hurrh hurrh, you're not getting laid," bothers me in any meaningful way.

However, I know that when reaching for insults, most people go with what they know and select a line of attack that would work on them. People who make fun of other people's looks almost always do so because they themselves are insecure about their own looks, for example. In fact, the best way to figure out what line of attack will get under someone's skin is to listen to the insults that they throw around.

So, you've just revealed to everybody that you're not getting laid and that you're insecure about this.

Further, since you think that there's some sort of relationship between one's willingness to subscribe to Keynesian economic theory and the amount of fucking they do, you've revealed that not aren't you getting any at the moment, but that you don't know the first thing about sex.

This is the kind of thing that insecure teen virgins in high school do. "Hurrh hurrh, you listen to this or that band 'cause you're not gettin' any!"

So, at a guess, you're not only not getting any now, but you haven't gotten much over the course of your life and you're obviously really insecure about that.

If you don't want people to point this sort of thing out, you might not want to bring up your own inability to get laid, even indirectly.

Youngblood said...

"Oh, that's because they were thoughtful, too. I know smart and fun don't go well together in your book. It must be confusing."

Protip: If you have to inform people that you're smart and funny, it means that you're not. Both of those traits are usually self-evident.

reader_iam said...

Every successive comment on this thread (which is about nothing out of the ordinary) is being posted by yet another person who is very likely not having sex at that moment.

What, you want I should sweep aside the dinner dishes and do it right there, with my son sitting in his chair and everything?

Or maybe with regard to earlier, you're suggesting I should sweep off the desk and/or table in the primary homeschooling room and do it, right there, right then?

You know, there was a period--I remember those days!--when we could be both more creative and flexible--and in both time and place--but, well, um, ahem.

The truth is, commenting from anywhere and everywhere between bouts of work of all types is way easier than screwing in that context.

Well, at least in certain phases of life. Ah, so it goes.

reader_iam said...

Or maybe with regard to earlier, you're suggesting I should sweep off the desk and/or table in the primary homeschooling room and do it, right there, right then?

To understand the context of that, it's probably important to note that my DH telecommutes full-time, as do I, almost entirely. Thus, my statement is weird only in the sense of poking friendly fun at the commenter formerly known as Montana Urban Legend.

Jason said...

I just wanted to publicly apologize for any disruption we may have caused.

Point taken, and we're sorry to have disturbed anyone.

I'll try to keep her quiet in the future.

Thank you.

WV: blespers. Vespers for black people.

Jason said...

The sound of English people having sex.

No wonder the Irish wanted out.

WV: "heave." 'Nuff said.

Ritmo Brasileiro said...

Protip: If you have to inform people that you're smart and funny, it means that you're not. Both of those traits are usually self-evident.

Except to the stupid and humorless.

Which is evident to anyone who even understands what evidence is.

Ritmo Brasileiro said...

It was interesting to watch you subject a simple, light-hearted instance of jest to such detailed analysis and intensive scrutiny, Youngblood. So, in the spirit of my contrarian impulses toward wrongdoing, I'll bite at the opportunity to address whatever tendency prompted the blogress' knocks at Judith Warner earlier today.

Please allow me to explain.

I think that the best writing is the most honest, and the most honest writing describes what you've experienced personally. So in the spirit of getting personal and moving away from the mental masturbation that your arguments by assertion have devolved into, why don't we just resolve this in as straightforward a manner as possible? Now, here is what you said, and below it follows my response:

"Oh, I'll freely admit that I'm not getting any at the moment. I'm not particularly uncomfortable with that and I'm not so insecure that a random fuckwit on the iternet saying, "Hurrh hurrh, you're not getting laid," bothers me in any meaningful way.

However, I know that when reaching for insults, most people go with what they know and select a line of attack that would work on them. People who make fun of other people's looks almost always do so because they themselves are insecure about their own looks, for example. In fact, the best way to figure out what line of attack will get under someone's skin is to listen to the insults that they throw around.

So, you've just revealed to everybody that you're not getting laid and that you're insecure about this."


I got laid this weekend, Youngblood, barely three days ago.

So the challenge now becomes this: When was the last time you got any?

Of course, I'll admit to being insecure about not getting enough, not getting as much variation as I'd like, or not getting it in as sublime and visceral a manner as possible, but that's because, as a human, I like to best myself and my previous experiences. I also have been known to tend toward desires and appetites that could be contrasted to yours in a manner similar to the contrast between a five star restaurant and McDonalds, respectively. Now, I'm not putting your tastes down, mind you. I'm just pointing out how mundane and easily gratified you seem to come across in this sense.

And yet, I subscribe to the quaint notion that my willingness to seek novelty and sublimity in the visceral realm is related to my desire to satisfy an equally profound intellectual itch. But I'll leave it to you to decide the significance of that.

Of course, the fact that you couldn't see any of this as unrelated to prudishness and the desire to legitimize the bullshit proposition of abstinence-only education might reflect on your intellectual urges, as well. Or perhaps you just read too much into something you felt like taking much more personally than I would have. And that is pretty interesting given the relationship that you imagine exists between a willingness to make a joke and some sort of psychological insecurity regarding the subject matter of that joke.

Now, what I was saying was that the relationship between rejecting Keynesianism and embracing abstinence-only education isn't causal, but correlational. The common cause of both of those things, however, is stupidity. And as for the relationship between stupidity and sexlessness, well, see above.

And while possibly off-topic, I should point out -- given the frequency with which the topic of health care has been raised lately -- that sex is good for one's health generally. Perhaps that's a point you can take less defensively than you might were we to ponder the more specific connection between sexuality and intelligence -- or as I would call it, one's "intellectual health". But that's also up to you.

Youngblood said...

Ritmo,

Thank you very much for illustrating and proving the points I made last night so beautifully. I really do appreciate it.

Ritmo Brasileiro said...

Only point proved is that you it was right to expect you couldn't offer anything but this pathetic cop-out.

Youngblood said...

Ritmo,

Some random douchebag on the internet said that I copped out! Oh no, what am I going to do!

Actually, I'm not going to explain how nearly every sentence in your comment confirmed what I already knew, but I will give you a free clue.

Last night, I suggested that you were projecting your own insecurities into others. While many people engage in that kind of behavior, not everybody does. It was a crap shoot on my part and I played the odds.

Your response today was a pretty textbook example of reaction formation, another psychological defense mechanism that's closely related to projection.

Quiz question: If you're so smart, how come I could easily troll your ass and get you respond exactly how I wanted using simple psychodynamics?

You can take some time to think about that one. I'm off to bed.

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