February 18, 2010

"Seat availability is on a first come, democratic basis."

I just read that on some restaurant website. My question is: What the hell is democratic about first come, first served?

33 comments:

Bob_R said...

Republicans have to stand?

Chase said...

Careful, Ann.

You will be targeted by Media Matters, Frank Rich, Rachel Maddow and Bill Maher for making fun of an incomprehensibly liberal statement.

Lem said...

No VIPs?

OldGrouchy Doug Wright said...

What about the needy? Wouldn't the seating be more appropriate if applied on an equal outcome basis? And, yes, why should Republicans have to stand?

Is this an open forum posting?

traditionalguy said...

That implies no favorite seating for the friends of friends. Would it were true. The proletariate of the hostess and wait staff may need a Dictator to make it come true.

Loretta said...

If that's democratic, then is first served, first to come republican?

El Pollo Real said...

What the hell is democratic about first come, first served?

Equal opportunity (but unequal outcome)?

wv: "expuds" transgendered former males.

PatHMV said...

I like that. Every 20 minutes, say, they count the number of seats available, and all the folks standing around in the lobby waiting for seats vote for which of them get those seats. Let each individual campaign for the votes of other potential diners.

Or let the entire restaurant vote! That could be a fun gimmick. Every 10 minutes, there's a vote for which waiting diners get to sit next.

ken in sc said...

It sounds like a European understanding of the word democratic. It means you don’t get special treatment because of who you are, who you know, or who your family is. It might even mean you get special discrimination if you are somebody important—I’ve seen that before.

It’s related to the European hang-up on social class. You got snobs at both ends.

edutcher said...

It means mob rule. If you tick off the other people in the place, they get to lynch you, which, of course, is an old Democrat tradition.

So Republicans are on their own.

Peter V. Bella said...

It means university professors are seated first and at the best tables in the interest of public safety.

Lem said...

Cheney's daughter Liz Cheney is on CSPAN.

Roux said...

Obviously they don't understand democracy.... We live in a representative republic. We vote for leaders who then get to decide who gets the first table. Sheesh.

tjl said...

First come, democratic basis?

BS. In practice it means that friends of the staff, local foodies, and other favored patrons get ushered in while everybody else has to hang in the bar.

Reservations are democratic. Anyone who picks up a phone gets in.
One night, thanks to an early reservation, my partner and I were seated at the A table at an ultra-trendy restaurant in Santa Fe. Due to the prime sightlines we could see non-reservation people being turned away. One of the turnees was a fabulously decked-out glitterati couple from LA who made it plain they were unused to such treatment.
It was richly satisfying, and totally democratic.

Lem said...

Cheney is on Cspan

Trooper York said...

The correct answer is the big tippers and the people who treat the wait staff like human beings get first preferance. The cheap fucks who complain about everything can go directly to the back of the line.

And you know who you are.

Almost Ali said...

What the hell is democratic about first come, first served?

How 'bout EVERYTHING.

Duscany said...

I have never noticed any great connection between fairness and democracy. In the olden days when people had differences of opinion they'd just go at it tooth and nail until there was only one side with anyone left standing.

Later, when it finally dawned on people, that they didn't have to actually slaughter each other to decide anything, they began counting noses on each side and, most of the time, that was a good enough proxy.

In time majority rule became fetishized as "democracy." But it still is only a genteel version of might makes right.

Loretta said...

"Arrival-based egalitarian" is better than "first come, democratic"-- it's a more precise expression of tortured fairness. Democracy can still be thought of as having elites or a ruling class with the attendant Kennedy-D/ Rockefeller-R best table in the house privileges.

OldGrouchy Doug Wright said...

There's a fascinating story by Harry Turtledove about ancient Athens where the folks would vote to eject a citizen by marking a pottery shard with the person's name. Highest vote count lost!

Perhaps this is something to bring into our current democratic federal form of voting; wouldn't work in Chicago but then much really doesn't work there anymore.

Kind of like doing this in certain restaurants to keep out the miscreants and other forms of Socialist / Statists.

Loretta said...

Are you sherd about that, Old Grouchy?

former law student said...

egalitarian

OldGrouchy Doug Wright said...

Yep: "Counting Potsherds!"

EDH said...

First, notice what it doesn't say: First come, first served.

It says "first come, domcratic basis."

I take that to mean the first to offer the biggest bribe, especially if it was in Chicago.

Scott said...

What they meant was,

"Seat availability is on a first come, Darwinian basis."

traditionalguy said...

Scott...It is definitely survival of the fattest.

AllenS said...

What the hell is democratic about first come, first served?

It means there is no affirmative action program in place at the restaurant.

cokaygne said...

Sounds like the restaurant where I work. It is very busy. If you call ahead, you go to the head of the line waiting for the next available table, otherwise you get a pager and wait. We have made Rockefellers wait for a table. In fact, people who don't know any better have tried to scam us by claiming to be with the Rockefellers and expecting to be seated immediately. The only times we were not so "democratic" were when the president and members of his family dined here on separate occasions. Those exceptions were made for security reasons. Another exception is a separate room set aside for large groups who receive a fixed meal with limited options and are charged a hefty amount.

Scott said...

@traditionalguy: LOL - 2 points!

MT said...

"Democratic" provides that, in instances when first-come would not be democratic, seat availability be on some other basis that ensures it will be. It also seems to provide grounds for a waiting party to appeal for an exception to first-come. It does suggest though that if you don't believe in democracy, you can leave your panties in a twist. Admirably succinct and effective for a sign, if you ask me.

Scott said...

"Admirably succinct and effective for a sign, if you ask me."

Effective to what effect?

jeff said...

Unless you're in a union. Then you get seated first, and everyone else pays for your meal.

PatCA said...

Sounds like direct democracy--it's all mob rule eventually.