This was the story of my life, 25 years ago. My ex-husband wrote a novel about it. I couldn't believe, back then, the way this problem persisted. And now, here's this guy writing about it and getting an Instapundit link as if it's a fresh problem yielding new insights.
These deeply embedded sex roles... they don't change so easily. Being large-minded and flexible and into change isn't enough. It doesn't get at the root of what you really feel, and you can't just feel what you want to feel.