August 5, 2010

"Date From Hell."

My DVR dragged in a new episode of one of my favorite shows "I Shouldn't Be Alive." This is one where the people really are too dumb to live. All they need to do is stay on the path, which they were told to do — even warned about rattlesnakes and cougars if they leave the path. So, of course, la la la, they leave the path. They hear a waterfall. It sounds so close by! 
As for the Hell Date, I knew they were morons as soon as they made the conscious decision to leave their cell phones behind (I take my phone with me just to walk over to the mailbox, for fuck's sake, and they're hiking in a canyon where, you know, something could go really wrong very quickly!). Therefore, I was not a whit surprised that they wandered off looking for fairies and unicorns.

And what was up with that tour guide? She's sitting there with a list of passengers and goes, "Hmm, two people didn't return... I guess they went home! OK let's go!" ... Holy Fail.
Ha. Holy Fail. But it would also be moronic to assume your cell phone would work out there in the wilderness.

22 comments:

The Crack Emcee said...

"They wandered off looking for fairies and unicorns."

Sounds familiar.

jeff said...

Cell phone, my little .380 and my SPOT tracking device.

Big Mike said...

But it would also be moronic to assume your cell phone would work out there in the wilderness.

So? Adding 1% to your chances of survival is worth it. Card pros make a very good living from the difference between 49.9% and 50.1%

Ann Althouse said...

I agree that you should still have your cell phone.

Even if there's no service, wouldn't it send out a signal in a way that searchers, once they came looking, could detect?

jeff said...

"Even if there's no service, wouldn't it send out a signal in a way that searchers, once they came looking, could detect?"

Fairly limited range, and I think line of sight. This on the other hand, should get you out of any mess pretty quickly. http://www.findmespot.com/en/index.php?cid=101

knox said...

I love that show, and I didn't realize they were making new episodes. Wikipedia says they took a 4-year break. I'm setting my DVR right now.

My favorite episode is the one with the guys in Hawaii whose helicopter crashes... and lands inside a volcano.

DADvocate said...

There might be more service than you think. In some national parks the National Park Service is considering/may have installed camouflaged cell towers. I know this was heavily discussed concerning the Smoky Mountains NP.

traditionalguy said...

The feeling now days that we are in danger with no way to get others to come to aide is caused by the Lawlessness of the Obama Kingdom at work diligently destroying all institutions that have traditionally been set up for our protection. Redistribution means violent robbery by a pirate band out of Kenya very similar to the Somalia Pirates at work redistributing ships and cargo. We are in terrible danger. Ask the Arizona Sheriffs who dare to protect us.

Fred4Pres said...

It is like Open Water, but without getting eaten alive by sharks.

jr565 said...

Even if the service didn't work, they could still have played Tetris, or Plants vs. Zombies while they wandered aimlessly looking for the unicorns and rainbows. What a bunch of idiots.

jr565 said...

It is like Open Water, but without getting eaten alive by sharks.


What would have been cool is if at the end of the show they found the unicorn and then he gored them both with his horn. Because unicorns are vicious creatures.Don't f with the unicorn.

edutcher said...

This is why the loudmouth who pushes his wife around in all those old monster movies set in the jungle strikes such a responsive chord.

After his wife warns him not to do whatever, and he does, and he gets it, everybody looks at each other and smiles.

(At least we're not that dumb.)

Original Mike said...

Cell phone. Wilderness. :rollseyes:

ErnieG said...

O.T., but this story reminded me of an old joke. A couple at a dance were walking outside in the garden. She speaks:

"Oh, darling, this is so romantic, with the moonlight, the breeze off the lake, and listen, the sound of a waterfall!"

"Um, we're standing outside of the men's room."

Thank you. Carry on.

paul a'barge said...

Ever been to Middle Tennessee? The entire freakin' geographical area is a cell-phone-signal free zone.

No bars. Nada. Bumpkiss.

Ann Althouse said...

The movie it's like is "Touching the Void." Great movie!

As for cell service, I lose it in state parks in southern Wisconsin.

Stephen A. Meigs said...

I saw that episode the other day too. One of the best things I've ever seen on television. I spent a good deal of time googling to try to find the exact spot where they were trapped. The best article I could find is here. I read somewhere else that apparently Tahquitz Canyon below the falls used to be such a major hippy hangout they had to close it down for a good while.

Ann Althouse said...

@Stephen Thanks!

It was fascinating to see the couple finally getting to see what was a beautiful waterfall and simultaneously knowing that it meant they were trapped (and likely to die).

kcom said...

At first when I read this I confused it with another show I've seen called "I Survived".

But that one doesn't just have stupid people doing dumb things in the wilderness, it also includes stories of people subjected to the lows of human depravity. The episode I saw, which turns out to have been the very first one, included a story of a young woman who had her apartment door kicked in, was forced to drive to a deserted field, was raped, was shot three times, was left for dead naked in the field, and still managed to go for help and survive her ordeal. And the way she talked about the whole thing openly and forthrightly was really impressive.

bagoh20 said...

A pretty cool story with a couple interesting side stories. I hike in this area all the time. It's deceptively beautiful on a warm afternoon, but a severe place if you drop your guard. If anyone is interested in the story behind the guy who they found dead there, here is a link. A strangely sweet man who after death, still saved these two yunguns.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=10&ved=0CDsQFjAJ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fbilldonahue.net%2F2006%2F10%2F01%2Flost-and-found%2F&ei=jhRcTL2BD4HEsAPbwNXvDw&usg=AFQjCNEqJDDBEXsiOc2yc0NMXdpLuo8L9Q

bagoh20 said...

BTW, they did find a fairy, but he was deceased, yet still helpful.

Stephen A. Meigs said...

It was fascinating to see the couple finally getting to see what was a beautiful waterfall and simultaneously knowing that it meant they were trapped (and likely to die).

And originally they wandered off the path to see a waterfall. People think they have irrational fears about things, but actually they only have irrational fears about those things that resemble what they need to fear most but that aren't what they need to fear most (provided, of course, they are foolish enough to not fear what they need to fear most). Waterfalls, nice and pure and cleansing, do not resemble what people need to fear most, and so one is very unlikely to have irrational fears about wanting to go to them. But people if foolishly sophisticated still discount whatever fears they possess about such clean things because they wrongly think they know better.