September 8, 2010

"Scientists say they've carried out the first rigorous analysis of dance moves that make men attractive to women."

The evolutionary psychologists are at it again. In this mode of thinking, as you should expect, a man is perceived as attractive when in fact he's got good "reproductive potential." So dance like you could impregnate a woman with a healthy baby and she'll think you're a good dancer. The scientists have provided an animation to demonstrate the technique — ironically using a genitalia-free computer figure.

ADDED: An emailer said that reminds him of this — which I think is adorable (but don't say "retarded," because that's wrong... plus: it isn't. It's awesome.)

48 comments:

HDHouse said...

guys...just don't wear shorts.

Skyler said...

More evidence that the only people who get degrees in psychology are those too stupid for any other field and those that are trying to figure out their own inability to adjust to society.

This man clearly knows nothing about dancing or about how to attract women.

Drew said...

So how much stimulus money went to this study?

Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...

I just stick with the Hokey Pokey.

traditionalguy said...

Women are attraced to men's shoes which directly show his class and status. Dancing doesn't protect women and children as even women can see. Women are attracted to what does protect them and their children...and that is the man's status within the tribe as shown by his shoe style and condition. Of course wearing shorts negates the best shoes in show.

Paul Zrimsek said...

This is great news. The only dance I know is the Gator.

John said...

Evolutionary psychology is the phrenology of the 21st Century.

Hoosier Daddy said...

The best dance move to attract women is how deftly you can handle a really thick money clip.

Scott M said...

Even as I clicked on the link I was thinking "The Onion", but when I saw the BBC marker flash up, I have to admit my ire was raised a notch.

Who the hell 1) funds this shit and 2) would bother studying it?

I mean, sure, it's probably more useful than cocaine effects in monkeys, but still. And it really not a mystery. For guys, dancing well will get you laid more than not.

On second thought, I take back point 2. I could easily be convinced into studying the dancing versus getting laid thing. Just getting a woman to voluntarily give out that info is half a green light in and of itself. Evolutionary psychologists get all the chicks, you know.

traditionalguy said...

Dancing well is a social need for women over 50, and men who learn dancing from a teacher will never go without a female companion. In Atlanta there is a surplus of great dance instructors from Russia, of all places, and they are task masters with their pupils.

ak said...

"Movements that went down terribly were twitchy and repetitive - so called 'Dad dancing.'"

Well, obviously the Dads found someone to reproduce with, despite being bad dancers.

Seriously, who funds these studies?

Quayle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Quayle said...

Showing that the phrase "Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin alive, stayin alive" is actually a deep and complex principal of biological evolution and not just some fluffy pop jingle.

My goodness, who could have guessed!?

Chip Ahoy said...

This report is 100% of true. But being uninhibited and agile on the dance floor, thus in bed too, does not necessarily translate to virile man juices.

<anecdote alert>
My brother and I went out together clubbing. Observing the dance floor from the bar I remarked to my brother that a lousy dancer is most likely lousy in bed too. Conversely, a good dancer is most likely good in the sack, and this is true of both men and women. My brother goes.

OH, BULLSHIT !

Apparently, he was a self-conscious dancer.

Following that episode he took dance lessons. Turns out, he was quite good. Met a lot of birds through that. He told me due to his mad skillz the instructor paired him with the more difficult cases. This was traditional dance steps, not the free-form movements one does at the clubs. Nevertheless, he learned how to move and gained much confidence in expressing through his body. Then he got married. Then his wife had their first child. FACT! And that proves at least so far he is an adequate impregnator.
<anecdote alert>

ironrailsironweights said...

Yeah, but what about making men attractive to unshaved women? Not that there are many unshaved women left :(

Peter

Bob_R said...

When you try to explain how the Intelligent Design is just doing pseudoscience stuff like this comes up to show just how weak a science evolutionary biology is. In engineering when some huckster comes along with a line of bull you can run tests, do calculations, examine precise mathematical predictions of established theory. By comparison, evolutionary biology is just a plausible story. Yes it fits a lot of data - and that distinguishes it from attempts at science like, say, Freudian psychology - which has failed basically every test that has been applied to it. But there is no "rigorous" way to extend evolution. (The use of the word "rigorous" by this group makes this mathematician sick to his stomach.)

shoutingthomas said...

The men that women will dance with are not always the same men they want to marry or shack up with.

Likewise, women will commonly get laid by men they dance with, although those men are not by any chance men they would marry or shack up with.

What women are looking for in a dance partner is not necessarily the same as what they're looking for in a mate.

Although, sometimes it is.

TMink said...

I am with John.

Trey - a licensed clinical psychologist

bearing said...

The real question is why, given the information in the article, unsuccessful/unattractive dancing is referred to by the journalist as "so-called 'Dad dancing.'"

Hm.

Comrade X said...

the fact that scientists are constantly doing studies and experiments about how to trick women out of their panties says more about them than any of their conclusions say about society in general.

Stephen said...

Amen, Hoosier Daddy. You can also try plastering your (good) credit report to the front of your T-shirt and the HIV-free certificate on the back. With standards so minimal maybe it still is a man's world.

rhhardin said...

Ballroom dancing class didn't result in anything, for some reason.

Scott M said...

Ballroom dancing class didn't result in anything, for some reason.

Well, you have to take it somewhere other than the Greenwich Village YMCA, for starters...

PatCA said...

Go see Mao's Last Dancer and you will find out what makes male dancers attractive. Heart, soul, physical beauty.

Great movie.

Pogo said...

C'mon, men with reproductive potential.
Git on up on the floor!
If ya wants to be perceived as attractive,
ya gotta boogie oogie oogie
till ya just can't boogie no more.

Boogie no more.


(boogie)

jr565 said...

Good dancing may also be a sign of male gayness.

Scott M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Synova said...

The animation made me go looking to see if there were any good videos of MMORPG dancing on You Tube.

The War of Warcraft graphics suck, the dances for LOTRO or EQ2 suck...

So... AION. Much more interesting than gray plastic man, but still no genitalia.

What MMORPGs are for...


Playing dress up. :-)

And making dance videos.

Synova said...

Also... hard earned tax money likely paid for nutless gray plastic guy while the South Koreans programing human movement on AION and CABAL are making money.

Scott M said...

AoC (Age Of Conan) has the best graphics and the best dancing. It is customary to do so on the very high precipice after killing the main bad guy in the newbie area before leaping to your death.

Eve Online, while being the greatest MMO ever created, has no dancing because there are no avatars...although Incarna is coming in 2011 along with Dust514.

Synova said...

Drat, the last two links are the same.

Was trying to link this one.

Not that it's exactly spellbinding or anything. ;-)

AST said...

There aren't any such dance moves. What made John Travolta's passing the V sign across his eyes sexy in "Pulp Fiction?" It's not about the dancing, it's about the overall impression that you're self-assured, masterful and know what you're doing.

With women, it's pretty obvious: "Shake your booty."

The Crack Emcee said...

The idea, that what makes one a good dancer has anything to do with attracting women, is stupid. Dance is about movement - you can either dance or you can't. What do women have to do with it?

This is just more feminazi bullshit.

And it doubly sucks when men participate in the attempt to put this charade over on the rest of us.

Synova said...

I don't know if the dancing in AoC is that great, but isn't that the one that splatters blood on the screen? Oh, wait... dragon something does that.

Scott M said...

AoC, to my knowledge, is the only MMO that has an M-rating. Blood and boobs galore...which is exactly what you would expect in a world built around the Conan stories.

Actually, if you get a chance, check it out. Best fantasy-based MMO out there. Crafting is kinda weaksauce, but the dancing...to die for...lol

Gabriel Hanna said...

I'm not about to defend evolutionary psychology--maybe there is a way to understand human universals with it, but all the articels I ever see about it in the press seem way too ethnocentric.

That being said, evolutionary psychology, even if it is as silly as journalists make it out to be, does not discredit evolution by natural selection anymore than Deepak Chopra discredits quantum mechanics.

And even if evolutionary psychology is complete nonsense, this cannot make intelligent design or creationism a viable scientific alternative anymore than homeopathy can be.

Methadras said...

So niggaz win? Or the Chicken Dance is out?

jamboree said...

Oh good god. Scientists. Dance like you can fuck well and she'll think you're a good dancer. The baby part is incidental.

Juba Doobai! said...

Did any of these scientists go down to Carnival in Trinidad and Tobago? Did they see the men gyrating and bumping and grinding as though their waists had snake juice? Do these scientists know that all a woman thinks is she'd like to ride that horse and see if he's as good horizontally as he is vertically? What morons these scientists be.

David said...

"White men can't hump."

Dust Bunny Queen said...

@synova

Awesome. I loved the Lady Marmalade video.

Paddy O said...

Should be "that make men attractive to women who are attracted to men who dance well."

I'd say very few men actually dance well. And a good many men find women. The key is to do something well and you will find a woman who is probably attracted to men who do that particular thing well, or at the very least are attracted to men who do something well.

Far too many men try to attract women by doing something the "experts" say the women want, when the men don't even really want the women that want that sort of thing. Thus, there is divorce when the men and the women find they don't actually like each other but have been playing a game for far too long.

Christy said...

All I know is that Serbian Janko Tipsarevic, in shorts, reeked of testosterone - over the TV - as he took out Andy Roddick in the US Open last week. I'm not a big tennis fan, but I guess that is a form of dancing.

I thought a couple of years ago we established that women wanted husbands who were nice and hardworking, but wanted the wild man to father our children.

Joe said...

I kept expecting the narrator to blurt out, "This proves that my dance moves when I was sixteen WERE sexy!"

bagoh20 said...

The only thing lamer than my shoes is my moves in 'em.

I'm screwed... or not often actually. Now I know why, and it only took half a century to find out.

What do I do now? Nobody wants an old fart to dance anyway.

I'm gonna go buy some really nice shoes. Anybody know where I can find Crocks, but with that little slot for the penny in them.

Timon said...

More science on how to find Mr. Right. Will women finally be interested in science?

Jamie said...

Though I believe it's self-evident, I want to say it anyway: Quayle, you win the thread.

(I do think Synova gives Quayle a run for the money with "nutless gray plastic guy," however.)

yashu said...

Re ADDED, haha yes *adorable*! Love.

What this post reminds me of is Tom Cruise (as Les Grossman) dancing in Tropic Thunder. Despite all the ways in which TC repels me, to me he's eternally redeemed himself for playing that character, doing that dance.