November 24, 2010

"To tell you the truth, I'm not 100 percent certain America is made up of states. We might be living in a fiefdom, for all I know."

"Am I spelling that right? 'Wisconsin.' It looks weird written out.... Ladies and gentlemen, isn't it time you elected someone who only learned five minutes ago that there are three branches of government, not 14?... Russ Feingold could point out Washington, D.C. with his eyes closed, and I have never quite grasped the difference between a map and a light-up globe. That is the difference I bring to the race, and that is the kind of leadership we need.... What we don't need is Russ Feingold, who is a Democrat capable of conjugating verbs and composing thoughts in sentence form. I'll be honest, I have absolutely no clue what I've been saying here this entire time. What is time? Where am I? Who are you? How do telescopes work, and why am I writing this right now? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Because I am an outsider and Russ Feingold is a man with dark hair. Furthermore, overspending, the left-wing media, tax cuts, class warfare, Muslims, Obamacare, Nancy Pelosi, corporate giveaways, socialism, Nancy Pelosi. Washington, D.C. Voter-people of Wisoncassinn, my name is Rob Jameson, and I want to be your congressman or Parliament or surgeon general or whatever the hell it is I'm running for. Thank you."

Just ran across that Onion shredding of Ron Johnson. It's really funny. Especially now. The voters are pretty damn stupid.... ha ha ha.

17 comments:

Chase said...

SO I tske it with this flurry of posting this evening that You will not be doing the cooking this Thanksgiving, Professor?

Happy Thanksgiving to you and Meade and family!

The Crack Emcee said...

Just looking at the headline, I was positive that was coming from Whoopi Goldberg.It's just the kind of insane nonsense she would say.

If you click-through and watch, click her tag as well:

I've got a backlog of her foolishness.

rcocean said...

Sometimes the Onion is funny, and sometimes it reads like Liberal Yuppies in LA or NYC making unfunny jokes about the rest of the country.

Maybe they should hire Trooper.

Roadkill said...

Like JS Mill said, Conservatives are part of the Stupid Party.

But a conservative beat out a Liberal in the Wisconsin US Senate race.

It must follow that a majority of Wisconsin's 2010 voters are stupid people.

Why is the Onion parodying logic?

E.M. Davis said...

The Onion sucks.

On the other hand, The Heath Ledger sucks less.

garage mahal said...

Yep that was a good one. Johnson promised us he would study up on the issues after the election. The ones he didn't know during the election.

America's Politico said...

The voters are not bad, they are just fooled by the GOP. Now, once you take the voters, not again. In 2012, they will not be fooled. And, they will vote with great, fantastic passion for the Obama-Biden ticket.

The GOP is finished. They do not even know about it. How ironic.

Lem said...

This is a ripoff of a Family Guy episode recently where Lois runs for office.

Drew said...

I'm okay with making fun of politicians I support when the satire is funny.

But there really wasn't anything funny about that.

Hagar said...

Crack,
Don't you talk about Guinan that way!

E.M. Davis said...

"To tell you the truth, I'm not 100 percent certain America is made up of states. We might be living in a fiefdom, for all I know."

Fake Ron Johnson or Nostradamus?

Hmmmm...

Triangle Man said...

@Drew

It's only funny if you know Ron Johnson.

SteveR said...

It's only funny if you know Ron Johnson.

Senator Ron Johnson/fixed

AllenS said...

Fuck off, Onion.

Triangle Man said...

Senator Ron Johnson/fixed

Soon enough.

LL said...

garage - he might even go after funding for NPR. Oh, the horrors!!!!

TMink said...

We voters are going to save the republic. It is time for the elite to step aside and let the Americans right the course.

Trey