March 31, 2011

Mr. Jessica Simpson's pre-nup.

"He'll get $500,000 as a wedding present. Then, on each anniversary, he'll get another $200,000. If he and Jessica make it to five years of marriage, he'll get an additional $500,000 bonus — and a $1 million bonus if they make it to 10 years."

59 comments:

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Grand Inquisitor said...

A lot of people see this as a sign these people don't have love for eachother, but rather are fixated on materialism.

I guess it takes a lot of patience and understand to let the lawyers haggle this out and sign on. I guess.

My feeling is that a loving marriage has no concern for who owns what, and no preparation for divorce or protection from your spouse. If you jump into marriage lovingly and get screwed horribly, that is very sad, but you should be willing to jump into marriage lovingly or not at all.

One reason I feel this way is that you do not have to get married. By making marriage safe for the kinds of people who don't stay married, we have damaged the institution.

People shouldn't enter into marriage if they don't know their spouse wouldn't hurt them for all the money they'd ever need.

SteveR said...

Must require some kind of fully funded trust fund up front. Ten years she'll be doing what?

Ann Althouse said...

"People shouldn't enter into marriage if they don't know their spouse wouldn't hurt them for all the money they'd ever need."

Yes, but do you realize how rich she's become in the last few years?

Maguro said...

What, no bonus for innings pitched?

traditionalguy said...

People change. Nuff said.

themightypuck said...

Getting paid to married to sexual napalm? Where do I sign up?

Synova said...

It sounds good to me.

I mean, having a pre-nup at all, that sounds like a very rational arrangement. (Hopefully, if she's under a contractual obligation even if she suffers financial catastrophe the money is already held in trust.)

As unromantic as the whole thing is, when someone has money like that it's good to have everything spelled out. People don't just divorce, they die, too, and make purchasing decisions and enter into other contracts that may well bind the other person as well.

It sounds like he never gets any access to her property or businesses, no matter the joint checking account. Her stuff is separate from his stuff and past the contents and limits of that joint account any "lets do this together" decisions will be freely made.

It doesn't sound that terrible to me.

rhhardin said...

The scent of rodents on wood chips didn't hurt.

Lincolntf said...

Not to hijack a perfectly good Jessica Simpson thread, but check out Gateway Pundit. Remember when we were all saying "it was probably a teacher", half tongue-in-cheek, when the death threats to WI GOP'ers started coming in? I don't remember ever thinking it was gonna be a pre-school teacher. Sheesh Wisconsin, you sure grow 'em nutty.

traditionalguy said...

And consider a 17 year age difference: when A is 55 and B is 38 all is great. But after 10 years, how does the age 55 B start to see the age 65 A? Also if the younger spouse sees a big payoff possible from a divorce, then that person will be pushed, tempted and carefully advised to get the divorce.

bagoh20 said...

That's not really that great for a male escort. Less than $100/hr in the good years and $22/hr in the lean, but I'd do it for free Jessica.

traditionalguy said...

oops, bad math. B would only be 48 when A hits 65.

The Grand Inquisitor said...

"traditionalguy said...

People change. Nuff said."

Yes, that's true. That's why marriages fall apart. People enter into them without allowing for this change, or working on their own flexibility, etc etc.

This is why marriage is a difficult and serious decision that you shouldn't agree to unless something quite special has happened.

By preparing for your marriage to fail because, after all, people change, the institution is weakened.

Marry when you are ready to deal with change, to someone who is ready to deal with change. Because they really love your essential character. If that aspect is considered impermanent, then of course, don't get married.


"Yes, but do you realize how rich she's become in the last few years?"

Yes, Althouse, from a legal perspective, it is smart to protect those assets from the likely outcome of this marriage (a divorce). If you are going to enter into a marriage that doesn't meet my personal standards, you really should get a lawyer to prepare you for the likely outcome.

I understand most people are not willing to accept the idea of delaying their gratification until they are really ready. I think they hurt society, but mostly they hurt themselves.

Methadras said...

Ann Althouse said...

Yes, but do you realize how rich she's become in the last few years?


I love this girl and yes, she is worth nearly a billion dollars from her clothing, jewelry, perfume, and cosmetics lines. She makes bank. However, if I was going to marry her, I'd tell her that I'll sign the prenup that says, you keep your money and I'll keep my money and I don't need milestones as a man in my marriage, with you, to stay married to you. The whole thing sounds ridiculous.

Lincolntf said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trooper York said...

This just tells me that Meade didn't get enough. Just sayn'

Smilin' Jack said...

Not nearly enough. Have you seen how much weight she's gained lately?

Lincolntf said...

I understand this as he would get those dollar amounts if they were divorced after the enumerated years, not that he gets them (apart from the "wedding gift" of half a mil) as a sort of salary. Right? He was in the NHL, he's used to dealing with big figures and probably has a decent lawyer, this could've just been the easiest, cheapest, most amenable way to do their due diligence without having a 'big thing". As Althouse and others have noted, Simpson has become an industry unto herself. She's probably earned the first year's "bonus" in the time since this thread went up.

Trooper York said...

I mean he must feel like Thurman Munson after the Yankees signed Reggie.

Here he is doing all this MVP work and this other dude comes in and gets all the dough.

I mean really. We all know that Meade is the Straw that Stirs the Drink for crying out loud!

ricpic said...

Guy looks able bodied. Couldn't he have signed a prenup note that "I don't want or expect anything of you, Jessica, but a lifetime of love?" Sound naive? Why should she accept anything less in the way of commitment?

Trooper York said...

Oh both the Yankees and Meade's Reds one today.

Trooper York said...

Don't you think it is kind of funny that Meade is a big Reds fan?

Trooper York said...

I have everything in the wife's name. If she throws me out I will have to get by on my looks.


That ought to last for about five minutes.

BAS said...

He doesn't get a pay raise? What about inflation.

Trooper York said...

This is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. I don't think this dude is in it for the money. Seriosly Jessica is a really hot babe. Especailly since she filled out.

Don't listen to smucks like Smilin' Jack. He must be a mo.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. But his opinion about women is useless. Sort of like Andrew Sullivan.

Synova said...

So... rich as she is...

If she decided that she needed to make a grand gesture of trust and not have a pre-nup, what would happen to the risk assessments made by anyone contemplating doing business with her?

I can easily see her ready to jump in with both feet and risk it all only to have her business people come to her to beat some sense into her.

And I suppose I figure, having had a good 25 years with entirely co-mingled finances, that I can easily see how a spouse wouldn't need to divorce in order to muck things up. Even when both people are trusting and cooperative you've still got two people with different plans and priorities.

It doesn't HAVE to be an implicit expectation of divorce.

Paddy O said...

I don't see anything wrong with this. When there's that much money floating around, there's all kinds of temptations to wander or cheat or get caught up in it all. By giving relatively smallish bonuses at regular intervals, this allows momentary temptations to be overcome by more immediate rewards.

The money is the source for a lot of good and a lot of bad, and it seems like whoever wrote this up knows that human nature is what it is, even if there is love involved.

It's not enough to make it the only reason for the marriage at any point, but it's enough to keep at it during low points or times of struggle, a tangible encouragement to keep with it.

For him, at least.

Better they give it all to the poor, but if they are not going to do that it makes sense to deal with the excess rationally.

traditionalguy said...

Mr Inquisitor...But how do you find out about this other person? Move in together and do inquisitions every month for 3 years? Sharing a common faith in God who invented marriage is a good idea, but still many people change as they try to reenact the wounds recieved in earlier failed relationships hoping to succeed this time. There are safe people around, but still any significant money "is a root of all evils".

t-man said...

The fact that there is "so much money" means that she can afford not to have a pre-nup. It's not like she would be living in a double-wide even if they did "change" and he got half of her assets.

I don't see the point of having a wedding under the conditions they set for themselves. It's a sham.

bagoh20 said...

Sometimes a divorce is a wonderful thing. It should not be impeded like this.

David said...

The girl's no fool. Good for her.

Titus said...

I got a big dowry for my wedding.

Is that bad?

The Crack Emcee said...

Well, that'll take some of the sting out of it, won't it?

SteveR said...

Hopefully she knows, unlike the writer of the article, that he's ex NFL not NHL. Carrie Underwood married NHL so maybe Jessica was copying her again.

NotYourTypicalNewYorker said...

He has money on his own, she gives this and he also enjoys the lifestyle in between.

I assume they're in love, everything's fine, they should just roll.

edutcher said...

Pre-nups make sense when one has bucks and the other doesn't.

Then again, all The Blonde ever gave me was her undying love and passion with the occasional grilled cheese thrown in.

Trooper York said...

This just tells me that Meade didn't get enough. Just sayn'

That's because you don't know about this weird little muscle the Professor has that makes her worth roughly the same to Meade as the current budget deficit.

Man does not always live by trust funds alone.

Lincolntf said...

Ha, good catch. Not only was he an NFL'er (mediocre WR w/49'ers for 5-ish seasons), but he also ditched his wife of 5 years for Simpson (if the "Personal" timeline on wiki tells me what I think it does), but he's also a Yale man.
Maybe Skull and Bones has some secret rite by which a member can conjure up a beauty queen billionaire as a wife?

ricpic said...

Titus said...

I got a big dowry for my wedding.

Is that bad?



SOOEY! SOOEY!

A "Shotgun" Gold said...

Isn't romance wonderful?

William said...

Freud famously asked what do women want. Charley Sheen doing field research on this very topic discovered the answer: a new Bentley. I understand that there are a lot of permutations and differences among women but, as a general rule, you won't go wrong if you gift your lover with a new Bentley the morning after.....The Simpson pre nup seems a further variation on this theme. Women desire stability, faithfulness, and long lasting relationships with men who have the bodies and coordination of professional athletes. She seems to have made a pretty good bargain. Perhaps she could have landed an amateur big ten athlete or a Triple A ballplayer at a discount, but you get what you pay for.....Those who think that this is crass and manipulative have no idea of the redeeming effects of money on human relationships. I have known poverty to kill quite a few marriages; there is no reason to believe that a million dollars would not cause the heart to grow fonder. Most of us manage to get along with our jerk bosses for far less than a miillion dollars....Yeah, I know: we're not expected to have ardor and passion for our bosses, but, on the other hand, our bosses do not look like Jessica Simpson.

Kensington said...

I'll marry her for half that.

Moose said...

Doesnt say how often a night he has to get it up. What, you expected better of me?

Pogo said...

Dane County Circuit Judge Maryann Sumi issued an amended ruling blocking Jessica Simpson's secretary from publishing the pre-nup agreement.

garage mahal said...

Not nearly enough. Have you seen how much weight she's gained lately?

Around 10lbs more and that would be damn near perfect. I hate bony chicks.

gordojenkins said...

...why does this trollop have so much money???

...she is famous for what??

pbAndj said...

I've crossed paths w/ her, when she wasn't wearing makeup.

Not that I did her. I just ran into her at a coffee shop in the Emerald City.

She was alright. But, sans fame she's a just fairly normal looking girl.

And, her prominent brow line is too masculine.

Gimli 4 the West said...

They both should donate everything to charity if it doesn't work out. We are all tired of paying for messed up people even if the messed up people are rich and give an excuse for poor messed up people to emulate them.

Jay said...

Yes, but do you realize how rich she's become in the last few years?

I didn't.

I had no idea she had a "billion dollar enterprise"

Anyway, when she balloons up to 250 Lbs, he'll bail with his 500K.

Ricardo said...

It seems to me the biggest problem is her father, who is a control freak who keeps a tight rein on his girls. Read all the comments Nick Lachey made about Joe Simpson's neverending interference in Nick/Jessica's marriage. When Joe gives his little girl away in this new marriage, is he really giving Jessica away, or is the prenup just a tangible sign of how much Joe is holding back?

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Don't Tread 2012 said...

This strikes me as ridiculous. Of course, if I'm her guy, I have no choice and would live with it :)

What I don't like is having to incentivize 'good behavior' - what is she afraid of? Just because it didn't work out with Nick Lachey?

'For better or for worse, in sickness and in health'...doesn't mean what it used to mean.

Triangle Man said...

I think it was the great and powerful Dr. Phil who said, "If you marry for money you're going to end up earning every penny".

MayBee said...

I would be willing to give this same deal to Mark Sanchez.

Hoosier Daddy said...

She was alright. But, sans fame she's a just fairly normal looking girl.

Pretty much all the celebrity set are normal looking. A good hairstylist and makeup person can do wonders.

Hoosier Daddy said...

I also think her soon to be husband would have gotten a much fairer decent pre-nup package if he had union representation.

The Grand Inquisitor said...

"What I don't like is having to incentivize 'good behavior'"

You have to wonder if someone stayed with you and grew with you and loved you through all the ups and downs and changes the decades brought, or if they just like money.

It's like Islam in Saudi Arabia. You don't know that anyone there actually choose Islam, or was just pushed into it. I'd guess Allah would be more pleased with a Muslim from a country where he's free to choose his religion.

Coercion is the opposite of trust.

Those insisting on letting these people do what they want and hoping for the best: you all have a good point, but this marriage is not built on trust, so it's not really a marriage at all, and calling it one corrodes the institution. Frankly, I think this is less of a marriage than two gay dudes who truly want to be exclusive forever.

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