April 25, 2011

"If the male brain is like a single toggle switch, then the female brain is 'the cockpit of an F-1 fighter jet.'"

Typical sex nonsense, this time coming from neuroscientists who used the internet as their raw material to be analyzed.

Here's the book they generated: "A Billion Wicked Thoughts." I love the way they seem to have intentionally chosen a title that reminds us of "A Million Little Pieces," the famously fake memoir.

"A Million Little Pieces" is #8 on the list of "Top 10 Infamous Fake Memoirs."

50 comments:

Expat(ish) said...

So many images, too much discretion to draw the obvious conclusions.

-XC

PS - Do transgender people get or lose control devices?

shoutingthomas said...

Well, the title got them a plug on your site.

Old fart cynicism. List all the predictable BS that will get you media attention:

#1 Coming out. I thought this one had been completely worn out. But I read this morning that some actress or other got her name all over the press using this gambit.

#2 Drug/alcohol rehab. All the usual suspects.

#3 Latest stupid feminist outrage. As Althouse likes to say, she likes to rile up the boys.

#4 Latest unspeakable injustice done to gays. Poor boys endlessly persecuted.

Anybody care to fill out the list?

Ut said...

"What do a billion Web searches reveal about desire?"

Answer: Two girls, one cup.

Paul Zrimsek said...

I've tried A! I've tried B! I've tried C! Tell me what else I can try!

The Drill SGT said...

"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."

H Granger

Henry said...

Funny how single toggle switch brains do fine flying F-1 fighter jets.

Henry said...

Analogy alert.

Pogo said...
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Pogo said...

"Ogas and Gaddam claim to have determined the sexual behavior of more than 100 million people, invoking neuroscience to help explain what makes us desire."

'Invoking neuroscience' is the modern version of "Just So" stories.

Pogo said...

"How the Woman Got Her Lust."

The Crack Emcee said...

Atta girl. Did you also notice how "Wicked" is promoted?

I was in a gay party shop a few days ago and was dumbfounded by all the symbolism invoking us to be "bad" (Devil's horns, etc.).

It's like the post-Boomer imagination made a stop in Hell and decided to stay.

Joe said...

My experience is that women really aren't all that complicated, they just pretend they are. Women are turned on by simple things, but generally refuse to admit that.

The Drill SGT said...

Henry said...
Funny how single toggle switch brains do fine flying F-1 fighter jets.


Kick the tires and light the fires. just grab ahold of that joy stick and yank it back :)

Paul Zrimsek said...

So they're telling us the female brain is a Mirage?

Henry said...

Joe wrote: My experience is that women really aren't all that complicated, they just pretend they are.

Isn't that the same thing? Pretending is complicated.

Henry said...

@Paul -- Unless they meant to write F-111: The female brain is an Aardvark.

rhhardin said...

The F-1 is a French airplane.

Most of the controls dispense perfume.

Pogo said...

Men are like driving an old truck. The same key starts the ignition pretty much every time, until it just don't start no more.

Women can seem like a foreign car from a country undiscovered.

Some start up no different than you'd expect, and run steady for decades.
Some have a key, but it doesn't seem to fit anywhere.
Some keys turn and nothing happens.
Some turn on, then stop for no reason, and sit there, sulking.
Some have no steering wheel, some no tires. Others lack doors or windows. Mirrors are mandatory.
Priming the engine with bling helps a few models.
Some are in the shop constantly.
Some need to be pleaded with to start.
Some seem to be one model one day, and the next day it's another.


However opaque the operating system, it's best just to blame the trucks.

edutcher said...

Gee whiz, and all this time, I thought women were only interested in "relationships".

Of course, a bunch of college kids using the search term "huge bazooms" ought to be the benchmark for something this involved.

vbspurs said...

"A Million Little Pieces" is #8 on the list of "Top 10 Infamous Fake Memoirs."

What an absolutely disgraceful list of fake memoirs. Any such list that isn't HEADED BY "I, Rigoberta Menchu", the eponymous memoirs who got the author her Nobel Peace Prize, isn't worth the binary code it was written on.

Cheers,
Victoria

Titus said...

I am still trying to get over the video of the hawk trying to heat his dindin.

Devastating.

Titus said...

eat

Although a video of a hawk heating his dindin would be kinda cool

vbspurs said...

From the article:

. "It doesn't take much to trigger male arousal," Ogas says. Breasts, women kissing, a news photo of a woman's bottom—they pretty much all do the trick. Still, men aren't totally predictable. The single-most popular search term users entered into PornHub, the most heavily trafficked adult site in the world, isn't "teens" or "cheerleaders," as some of us might predict, but—get ready—"mom."

Anyone who has ever been to a porn site realises the redundancy of this finding, as 'soccer mom gets f*cked' videos attest to.

They need to be emotionally turned on, too (which might help explain why just 2 percent of all paid porn subscriptions are made on credit cards with women's names, according to one billing service)

And 1 1/2 percent of those women are really their husbands sneaking their credit card out of their pocketbooks.

Fred Drinkwater said...

Assuming for the sake of argument the validity of the article's analogy, what does this say about the talents of one's opposite-sex partner?

Women need only know how to flip that single toggle.

Men need the equivalent of an Air Transport Pilot rating, plus Type-Rating in the specific model, plus be current in Night Ops and Limited Visibility Ops.

Original Mike said...

Is the male brain like a single toggle switch?

Could be Yes. Could be No.

Pogo said...

Regardless, be careful with that single toggle switch.

vbspurs said...

Fred Drinkwater wrote:

Women need only know how to flip that single toggle.

Men need the equivalent of an Air Transport Pilot rating, plus Type-Rating in the specific model, plus be current in Night Ops and Limited Visibility Ops.


Your witty reply notwithstanding, Fred, it perfectly describes why women will need a desire pill to be invented, to have the same effect on them as Viagra had on men -- a functionality pill.

Motive is always more difficult to unravel than means.

edutcher said...

Agree with the idea women aren't that complicated.

Five minutes of back rub usually works.

Also, if she really likes the guy...

vbspurs said...

From the article:

. "It doesn't take much to trigger male arousal," Ogas says. Breasts, women kissing, a news photo of a woman's bottom—they pretty much all do the trick. Still, men aren't totally predictable. The single-most popular search term users entered into PornHub, the most heavily trafficked adult site in the world, isn't "teens" or "cheerleaders," as some of us might predict, but—get ready—"mom."

Anyone who has ever been to a porn site realises the redundancy of this finding, as 'soccer mom gets f*cked' videos attest to.


Also does something to vindicate Freud.

vbspurs said...

Also, if she really likes the guy...

Yep. Women determine whether an encounter is a welcome approach or rape. To that end, most women know within seconds of meeting a man, whether or not they would be willing to sleep with him. Men do not have a similar luxury, with women.

BTW, once the moves were put on me by a blond, gorgeous, multi-millionaire resident of Monaco, who also had the remarkable fortune of being a Formula One driver. Within, oh, I don't know, 60 seconds of meeting him, I knew I didn't want anything to do with him, and his "sending champagne to her table" gambit really nailed it.

Mind you, I drunk the champagne. I'm still a woman, after all. GIVE ME PREZZIES!

edutcher said...

...And Diogenes blew out his lamp and went home...

Joe said...

The mom thing is freudian at all; it's middle age men who may enjoy eye candy, but would prefer that their wives be more available, enthusiastic and, well, fun.

(I'll even suggest that a large appeal of the "barely legal" fantasy is that these women are natural and still have souls. Above all, they haven't yet learned to play the bullshit female games women think is... I have no fucking clue what they think their bullshit does, but they do it anyway.)

vbspurs said...

You won't hear a peep of outraged defense of such games, from me, Joe. I hate them, too.

Fred Drinkwater said...

vbspurs writes:
[my comment describes why] women will need a desire pill to be invented, to have the same effect on them as Viagra had on men -- a functionality pill.

Motive is always more difficult to unravel than means.
***
I see that, but I think the law (not to mention my internal ethical sense) frowns on chemically altering someone else's attitude without their consent. And if they consented to taking the pill, then there would be no need to take the pill.

So sadly I'm limited to lovers who desire me for myself.

Fred4Pres said...

Thanks for dismissing that stupid toggle switch comment. Jeez Louise.

But the list of top ten fake memoirs. Wow. very interesting. But aren't there more infamous ones? I can't recall them right now, but it will come back to me (hmmmmm, maybe I am a toggle switch today).

bagoh20 said...

...and the beta male switch is in that cockpit. It's labeled "Reserve".

Ralph L said...

Apparently, there's a significant number of adult women who haven't figured out how to have an orgasm (or don't care), something every male has mastered by age 14. Maybe women aren't complicated, just ineffective.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

So now women are nothing more than cockpits?

Sexists!

Harry Phartz said...

Note to self: Oprah has been pimped frequently in this area, therefore Oprah might not be a good source for non-fiction book recommendations.

Jose_K said...

Surre, sure:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1380328/U-S-Navy-officers-relieved-duty-Libyan-coast-hazing-investigation.html

John said...

Obviously a hoax. Ogi Ogas? That's just giving the game away!

vbspurs said...

Fred Drinkwater wrote:

And if they consented to taking the pill, then there would be no need to take the pill.

Well, yeah, but I wasn't thinking that the desire version of Viagra would be the equivalent of slipping the gal a mickey finn. Clearly, it would be the woman getting a prescription for herself.

They say many men are embarrassed to admit that they have trouble getting erections, and therefore, do not get Viagra or similar, from their physicians.

The stigma attached is that they are not "strong" enough for sexual activity.

Personally, I think as a woman I wouldn't mind admitting to my doc that I lack sexual desire. In fact, I think I'd be grateful to find something out there, that would help me feel that again.

I'd be interested to know what other Althousians think about this, if anyone still reads the thread.

John Richardson said...

Interesting that they chose the French Mirage F-1. French and mirage seem fitting.

Karl said...

vbspurs- "it perfectly describes why women will need a desire pill to be invented, to have the same effect on them as Viagra had on men -- a functionality pill."

I knew a gal in college who found her "functionality pill": Peppermint Schnapps.

I like my male brain the way it is. Simple works just fine.

Complicated Women? Also known as high maintainence. There are plenty of women who are not. Or at least they hide it well enough.

Is the compexity thing something learned from mom... like a fear of dogs?

Methadras said...

Hmmm. Where is that picture of a single knob with 'men' written all over it and an entire panel of knobs, switches, and lights with 'women' written all over it?

SCOTTtheBADGER said...

Women are much higher quality, they would be more like the Misubishi F-1 fighter

Coco said...

Vbspurs - wow people still pay for porn? I thought everyone just used www.youporn.com.

For books on brains - if anyone is actually interested Dr. Louann Brizendine's work is good. I've only read The Female Brain book but I know she recently published The Male Brain, which I have yet to purchase.

Joe - As far as women playing games - eek who has time?! Most of the women I know are too busy doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning and picking up kids from daycare after a full day of work at the office.

Legosn Eggos said...
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Legosn Eggos said...

Male-vs-Female Brain

MarkD said...

It that the Mitsubishi F-1, Japan's first post WWII fighter, or the Mirage F-1, so recently flown to glory (OK, Cyprus) by a pair of defecting Libyans?

Self aggrandizement is easy to find.

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