"... films it and uses that footage as retaliation to (probably) destroy his career? If you gave me that plot as a TV movie, I'd tell you it was too much."
(NOTE: Clicking the link will not take you to the video, but you will find a link to the video. I clicked through, but instinctively turned it off after about 5 seconds, without seeing any of the beating.)
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267 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 267 of 267There is some discussion in the comments about just restricting access to the computer.
It isn't simply to prevent misbhavior by taking away the offending object.
The point is to punish the child for specific bad behavior by restricting access for a measured time period.
The point is to use punnishments that teach socially acceptable behavor rather than teaching the child that violence is acceptable.
However you have to start when the child is younger so she learns self control when she still malleable.
I'm not surprised that the child is uncontrollable if her parents have been teaching her for 16 years by their own example to be uncontrolled.
"My foster brother became a crip at 13. His friends had more guns than my entire neighborhood."
This is your response to a charge that someone had bad parenting? You hold up a foster home as a paragon of good parenting?
"Tell me how a child should know the difference."
That's the point: children don't know much. They certainly can't decide when they should be punished or how. If they could, they'd do it themselves.
Parent's can be monsters, and deserve to be locked up, but this simply was not that.
The limit? Like everything. Doing more harm than good is too far. You got an alternative to that? For those who can't tell the difference there is child abuse law, but only for those who destroy though too much discipline. The ones who destroy their children through too little are pretty cool though.
ignorance is like a blind spot, you don't know its there
go to any internet search engine
type "parenting" into the search box
hit return
use your belt to hold up your pants
use your your head to teach your children
Water bag, I don't think that was discipline. That was a parenting failure. It was a bully who had no idea about how to teach his child how to behave.
She wasn't pulling a knife on someone. She wasn't doing drugs. She was misusing a computer. His reaction was completely out of line. He was fixated on his own dominance and not on getting good behavior.
He lost his temper in a way that leads me to believe that he enjoyed doing it. He's a monster.
You can't move?
Parapalegic or just lazy?
You cook lobsters by starting them in cool water--the rising temperature puts them to sleep and they don't try to escape.
I believe that he had little choice
Yeah, because there's no form of discipline between SUPPORT and whipping.
ws4whgfb,
The point is to punish the child for specific bad behavior by restricting access for a measured time period.
Jesus, you're really dumb. That's no punishment. She can dl music on another computer. The point is to make her stop dling music.
Deal with that, genius.
The point is to use punnishments that teach socially acceptable behavor rather than teaching the child that violence is acceptable.
Violence is acceptable, you hypocrite. Ask Ghaddafi. Like I said, just because you're squeamish, don't rope the rest of us into your bullshit. Violence doesn't bother me. (I once pulled a guy's eye out and I was glad to do it.) Doing shit that causes violence, that bothers me - and that's all this little bitch was up to.
Skyler,
You hold up a foster home as a paragon of good parenting?
Considering what I see out there - shit, what I see on this thread - it's better than most.
I'm not the one attacking an innocent father and mother based on some lying hussy's hidden video plot. That's all you "good" people:
Skyler, I doubt this was just about the computer and she was not beaten bad. In fact she chose to get the beating knowing full well it was comming and planning fore it.
But back at you: Where is your limit? Your kid is going bad: stealing, completely ignoring your rules, disrespecting family members, her society, the law, endangering herself and others. setting you up like this girl did. What are you gonna do? How far will you go to save her?
And Skyler, as far as foster homes are concerned, when you can raise 13-20 of other people's kids in the ghetto and have a pretty good success rate with them - as my foster mother did - you talk then.
But until then, you don't know shit.
To go beyond the specifics of this particular case, there's a small literature on the economics of spanking. Sparknotes version: Poor parents haven't got as many punishment options available to them as do other parents, so they spank more.
Could be one reason why anyone's own personal experience and view of what's acceptable doesn't necessarily square with others'.
wv ouchings (really)
"I believe that he had little choice
Yeah, because there's no form of discipline between SUPPORT and whipping."
So you would support her stealing to stop it?
And do you really think this beating was the first thing he tried? If so, I'd agree with you, but that's just not a reasonable assumption. So why would you jump to it? I mean really, what makes you do that? Do you really have no experience with the dynamics in families?
Ralph L,
You can't move?
Parapalegic or just lazy?
Poverty. See, they were black, it was the 70s - there were even parties I couldn't go to back then in my white friends' neighborhoods.
It was a different time.
"Poor parents haven't got as many punishment options available to them as do other parents, so they spank more."
This makes sense to me. You have less, so you have less you can take away as punishment. That and poor kids are just tougher. They do without things daily that other kids would consider a major punishment. In fact, a great punishment for a rich kid would be just to make them live in a normal poor family. Then of course, see how well the rich punishments work on that kid's new psyche. Being poor creates callouses.
bagoh20,
Skyler, I doubt this was just about the computer and she was not beaten bad. In fact she chose to get the beating knowing full well it was comming and planning fore it.
Dude, quit pointing out her single-handed connivence and other obvious deceptions. Skyler has her being brutalized, and the others - well, Daddy said "fuck" - what more do you need?
The man must be destroyed.
That's doing the right thing today.
Your kid is going bad
Again, do you think this is the first time he whipped her? How old was she the first time? Six? Three?
There's a reason she misbehaved, and it might, just might have something to do with whipping. He probably ignores her when she doesn't. The fact that he wanted to belt her ass "Lie on your stomach and take it" tells me she's lucky if he ignored her.
This thread has been illuminating.
Ralph L,
There's a reason she misbehaved, and it might, just might have something to do with whipping
Damn, you guys just make shit up out of thin air and, lo and behold, that's the truth! Or, as the NewAgers say, "your truth."
A simple whipping has turned a man into a monster - because you're crazy.
Like you said, illuminating,...
Maybe growing up in a rough neighborhood requires different parenting mentods. For example, I can see how spending all day in a chaotic school environment could overwhelm the best efforts of a parent.
However in the case of this girl whose father was a judge, she probably had all the advantages one would expect from that, I don't see how his method of parenting can be justified.
I swear, you guys have been watching too many of those Lifetime-like movies where you delve into Hannobal Lectur's childhood only to discover he became a psychpathic killer because his father gave him the belt.
Oh, and Ralph, my wife was never hit growing up. Like you, she hardly knows what punishment means.
Lovely girl. You'd like her.
See, they were black, it was the 70s
No, it's because they were used to unsafe neighborhoods (and homes). That's why you can't understand why many of us are horrified by this monster of a judge. Or was it because of several generations of slavery a hundred years before?
"I once pulled a guy's eye out and I was glad to do it.
And you think I'm crazy? You just proved my point. Thanks.
ws4whgfb,
I don't see how his method of parenting can be justified.
When I heard her say "Yes, Sir" I could.
What I can't see as justified is a society of people, the kind with butterflies in their stomachs, determined to make us all such Nervous Nellies that bad folks - including kids - can get away with anything today and not face punishment of any kind. And then you also drive us crazy, wondering why everything's gone to shit. YOU'RE THE CAUSE. YOU'RE DOING IT. HERE. NOW. RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE EXPLAINING FANNIE AND FREDDIE, AND THE DEATH OF STEVE JOBS, AND GREECE, AND MY WIFE AND OBAMA'S PRESEDENCY AND WHY AL GORE HAS MORE MONEY THAN GOD FOR A DEBUNKED THEORY. YOU'RE DOING IT. EVERYDAY.
That's what I don't think is justified.
my wife was never hit growing up
That wasn't my point--you were the one hit. And later, you married a nutjob. Coincidence?
Now my father married a nutjob when he was 59, after decades of being treated like a prince by all the women in his family. She gave him a good sob story (and she was 43 and bottle blonde).
Poor parents haven't got as many punishment options available to them as do other parents, so they spank more.
The original post was about a judge not any of the commenters here. Was the judge poor? Where I live, the judges make plenty of money. I don't think lack of alternatives is a valid excuse in this case.
Water bag asked: "But back at you: Where is your limit? Your kid is going bad:"
Corporal punishment has its places, to be sure. But if you have to use it, then you should be in control and not be angry.
Where is the limit? If you haven't established the child's limits at a much earlier age, you've already lost. But if you have a child that you have to start over with in establishing some absolute limits, I wouldn't use corporal punishment on a teen ager for behavior that isn't dangerous to her. That is, if she's out hooking or gang banging or doing drugs, then you might consider corporal punishment. But for misuse of a computer that is so petty as this? The father here has no sense of balance.
Ralph L,
See, they were black, it was the 70s
No, it's because they were used to unsafe neighborhoods (and homes).
There you go again, making shit up. I grew up in a solidly lower-middle class neighborhood that was overrun by gangs. And, if I need help telling my story, I'll ask, thanks.
That's why you can't understand why many of us are horrified by this monster of a judge. Or was it because of several generations of slavery a hundred years before?
No, as your previous stupid assumptions prove, it's because, though you and I may share the same sidewalk, you're not on this planet but one purely of make-believe where my parents and I behaved and lived according to the dictates in your twisted "After School Special" of a mind.
"They were used to unsafe neighborhoods."
Yeah, that's how it went. I can hear my parents now: This place is getting shot up regularly - let's build a foster home for children here!"
Fucking idiot.
Although I've asked several times, what would our superior parents do about a kid that refuses to listen to her parents instructions, like this, nobody has offered a single answer. You know damned well that your suggestion was either already tried by him or it would just sound ridiculously impotent, but I could be wrong - so I'm listening. Of course there is the dodge that he made her that way, and your child would never be like that. Maybe you are superior, but that just makes it genetic, and we are back to eugenics, which is superior to spanking, I guess.
ws4whgfb,
"I once pulled a guy's eye out and I was glad to do it.
And you think I'm crazy? You just proved my point. Thanks.
Amongst other things, he tried to initiate the gangbang of a female friend of mine - right in front of me. He deserved everything he had coming to him, and I'm glad he's dead.
Why don't you just admnit you're a puss and that's what is underneath all this? Ooooh violence! Ooooh, he said "fuck"!
You're a wimp, Ralph. That's the issue.
My bad, Ralph.
I grew up in a solidly lower-middle class neighborhood that was overrun by gangs
Then tell us: why didn't they leave? Did lack of money overrule safety? I'd sooner live under an overpass than gang turf.
Excuse me, the dog just shat in the kitchen, I've got to kick her now.
Ralph L,
my wife was never hit growing up
That wasn't my point--you were the one hit. And later, you married a nutjob. Coincidence?
One more time - because you're not the first to use this stupid reasoning and it gets old fast:
She deceived me. You know - lied. Like where Osama was hiding, it's kinda hard to figure that shit out - until you figure that shit out.
My being hit doesn't have anything to do with it, except for me sticking up for right and you being a douche. It's probably part of that.
Skyler,
Corporal punishment has its places, to be sure. But if you have to use it, then you should be in control and not be angry.
You're asking for the impossible. I've known all kinds of parents and ALL of them - even the most passive leftists - get caught up short by their kids sometimes. If you want to say it would be ideal if you're in control and not angry, fine, but to act like that's what parenting is, is bullshit. Especially when dealing with a dead-set-on-being-defiant child.
Well it's been great. I'm going to bed. I'll have dreams about where that headless eyeball is now? It could be under my bed. Happy Dia de Los Muertos
Ralph L,
I grew up in a solidly lower-middle class neighborhood that was overrun by gangs
Then tell us: why didn't they leave? Did lack of money overrule safety? I'd sooner live under an overpass than gang turf.
With limited funds and the responsibility of all those kids? You're in Dreamworld.
Excuse me, the dog just shat in the kitchen, I've got to kick her now.
No, no - kick yourself. That'll make the dog do better. See, I'm catching on to how this parenting thing works already,...
Reading of Riot Act (only works if your home isn't a riot all the time)
Removal of computer, car privileges, etc.
Grounding for life
Military school
I agree that many children haven't been trained well. My niece can be really annoying, and her parents don't lay down the law and stop it. But she's only 10--should they use a narrow belt or a wide one?
In the 19th century, instead of boarding schools, many adolescents were sent to live with relatives as a matter of course, not a punishment.
The original post was about a judge not any of the commenters here. Was the judge poor?
A reply like this was so predictable that I almost addressed it in my previous comment. Yet I held out some hope that people could read with understanding. Most people did. What part of "To go beyond the specifics of this particular case" do you find vague?
There've been about 200 comments denouncing this guy. I get why people feel the urge to do it, but that point's been made.
There's a larger point that hasn't been discussed successfully b/c it's drowned out by people lining up to tell us what highly moral people and effective parents they are.
I know this much: I'm glad no one ever secretly videoed me on an angry rant. I'm sure it would look terrible. I didn't realize that so few other people had ever lost their tempers and said and done regrettable things.
"I've known all kinds of parents and ALL of them - even the most passive leftists - get caught up short by their kids sometimes."
Of course they do. But this father obviously has a habit formed or the girl wouldn't be making a video of his behavior. He also had ritualized it in a sort of way such that he had customs of how she should bend over the bed, etc. She is far too old for that.
If it had been a one time event, no camera would be in place. This young girl, even at her age, knew that the man was a petty and brutal tyrant. This girl was being beaten on a regular basis for small transgressions.
Pulling out someone's eye is sometimes appropriate, and I take your word that this guy deserved it. You should be proud of defending that girl. I agree that many people are far too squeamish about the use of violence. But violence should be reserved for bad people doing very bad things. Downloading music is nowhere close to that scale.
The Crack Emcee said...
Methadras,
People who grow up in similar circumstances may not be able to get over it because they hold grudges,...
And find themselves in a society gone mad that tells them that - even though it was they who lied, stole, cheated, and deceived - their PARENTS are the bad people for stopping them with a fucking belt.
The whole set-up is pure evil.
Listen, my dad and my mom to a certain extent did what they did because they felt it was necessary. I've said many times here that between me and my brother doing stupid shit as kids that we should have been dead 10 times over. My dad in his attempt at correcting that behavior used the only means he had at his disposal because at that time that's what was expected of him to do. He had no other model than his father before him. My dad didn't spare the rod, he used it. It was what he considered discipline. No one called it abuse back then. Neither did I. Today I would say I was abused, but you know what so where multitudes of other children from successive generations and it happens today.
The difference is, is that I see it for what it is vs. what it was. That's how I categorize it. I just don't blame him for doing it anymore because in all honesty there really isn't anything that he could have done differently. We are men and sometimes men who become fathers take a heavily patriarchal tone in how they handle their families. My father did. I do not, but that's because my kid was different and therefore we adapted our discipline to her weak points, but that means we had to be parents and understand our child like a road map. We were effective and we rarely (twice) used physical discipline with her either, but she was quite young and it was necessary at the time.
The girl clearly was setting her parents up, but that's because it is clear there is more than one instance where this happened. Systematic abuse is what is going on here and his abuse has clearly not had it's desired effect. She has deep resentment towards her father. The mother has left the father. A family has been broken up because of it and a daughter is seeking some latent form of revenge. His livelihood is now in question. Most likely he'll be ostracized from his community, but he will have a multitude of supporters. I'm not saying your assessment is wrong, I just disagree with it. Read my first post and it more exemplifies what will most likely happen in this case.
said and done regrettable things
Some people realize this and change their behavior, and some just keep on doing it, regardless of regrets, or without regret. Sort of like an addict.
Apparently, he is in the latter camp, or she wouldn't have taped it.
If corporal punishment works so well why is he still having problems with his daughter after 16 years of using it?
Isn't it more likely that if he is having a problems with a 16 year old, that the problems are either due to bad parenting methods applied over 16 years, or that the problems are mostly in his imagination and he is overreacting?
a daughter is seeking some latent form of revenge
Or realized, finally, that he's grossly unfit to be a family court judge. Bet her therapist thinks so. I call it a community service.
"Although I've asked several times, what would our superior parents do about a kid that refuses to listen to her parents instructions, like this, nobody has offered a single answer."
You start with better parenting from a very young age.
Loosing control and showing your rage to a kid is likely to cause that kid to loose all respect for your authority.
And why wouldn't they? Why would a kid respect someone who isn't acting like a head-of-houshold. He's out of control and he's whips her in anger, not for discipline. He does it in a way that is not measured. He comes back in, randomly, "for more licks." He's lost control.
Power without authority is not something children respect. The kids might fear it, but it is tyranny, and even small children know on some level it is not leadership or mastery.
I've known all kinds of parents and ALL of them - even the most passive leftists - get caught up short by their kids sometimes.
What a rough break for the guy that he just happened to completely lose his shit while his daughter's webcam was running. What are the odds?
Lord--there does seem to be a lot personal disclosure going on in a pubic forum that can be accessed by billions of people. Not my business of course, but maybe you should consider carefully before you disclose intensely personal information.
As the father: bury him up to his neck on mainstreet and provide passersby with a belt and invite them to take a whack.
But soft and gentle isnt my style.
He also had ritualized it in a sort of way such that he had customs of how she should bend over the bed, etc. She is far too old for that.
Yes. 16 is too old for that kind of thing, to me. Especially with a daughter.
If you raise your kids well, you shouldn’t need to spank them at 16. Just talking to them with disappointment should be enough to make them want to curl up in a ball. Spanking is for kids that are so young they can’t be reasoned with and are doing something that could be dangerous to themselves or others.
The father here has no sense of balance.
Exactly. If she had attacked him, some form of physical response would make more sense. I’m with Freeman, that taking away the computer is a more appropriate form of response.
There was a man, where I grew up in Alabama, who was a heavy drinker and who beat his wife and kids often. One night, the Klan paid him a visit. They left him tied to a tree with big red whelps on his back. I heard he never abused his family again. BTW, he was white.
It was so bad that I thought I had hit the wrong link and been taken to a session of the Wisconsin Supreme Court.
Hillary Adams claims Dad has been "harassing" her, and she wants him to get help for his bad attitude.
She claims his behavior "went on for a time". (What time? Why?)
Dad says: she's angry because he asked her to return a car that belongs to him; angry because he has a girlfriend; angry because she's forced to live with mom;etc.
A child deliberately films a belt-whipping by her parents, preserves the evidence for years, and uses it against only one parent (going out of her way to absolve the other parent)--
More to the story than we're hearing.
Hillary Adams jeopardized her dad's job by downloading illegal music. Maybe he was angry because she wouldn't stop breaking the law.
Maybe Hillary Adams would feel better if she beat her dad's ass with a belt, and called it even.
Skyler,
Violence should be reserved for bad people doing very bad things. Downloading music is nowhere close to that scale.
For the last time - this isn't about downloading music, or the computer, but disobeying her parents (not just the father). Why don't you guys deal with the issue and quit running back to your hobby horses?
Methadras,
The girl clearly was setting her parents up, but that's because it is clear there is more than one instance where this happened.
I'm amazed how often you guys are willing to submit your own version of events for what we can obviously see. Is it clear this is a habit? Or did she know she'd really crossed the line this time? You don't know, but you make up a history for the father out of whole cloth.
I'd hate to be on a jury with you guys because half of our deliberations would be dedicated to just batting down your imaginations.
Ralph L,
Some people realize this and change their behavior, and some just keep on doing it, regardless of regrets, or without regret. Sort of like an addict. Apparently, he is in the latter camp, or she wouldn't have taped it.
You are such a fucking moron. She taped it because, as her parents made clear, she was continually using the computer in unauthorized ways.
ws4whgfb,
If corporal punishment works so well why is he still having problems with his daughter after 16 years of using it? Isn't it more likely that if he is having a problems with a 16 year old, that the problems are either due to bad parenting methods applied over 16 years, or that the problems are mostly in his imagination and he is overreacting?
No, the problem is a society that allowed children to dictate what a parent or adult should be. Kids today can put parents in jail, or have the kids taken away, because of some entitled brat, raised on a feminized culture, abusing the position you've allowed them to have. The same goes for women and sexual harassment claims. Right and wrong never come into it - conventional thinking (which is almost always wrong) and political correctness (which is also almost always wrong) are the only justifications for this travesty. Parents are outnumbered in their own homes because of this bullshit.
Canuck,
Loosing control and showing your rage to a kid is likely to cause that kid to loose all respect for your authority. Fine - let the kids run things because they know so much about the pressures of adult authority. You guys are a joke.
Revenant,
What a rough break for the guy that he just happened to completely lose his shit while his daughter's webcam was running. What are the odds?
Considering she is the one we KNOW is repeatedly abusing the computer privileges - not "imagine" or 'believe" or "maybe" or "might" or whatever else you guys want to speculate for the father (not the parents, together, but only the dad) - I'd say pretty good.
Shanna,
If you raise your kids well, you shouldn’t need to spank them at 16. Just talking to them with disappointment should be enough to make them want to curl up in a ball.
Today? When almost every kid knows they can get away with murder and blame their parents? That's nutty. None of you are dealing with reality - or even the evidence in front of your eyes: The daughter is a repeat offender lashing out - again - at her parents because she knows you'll run to her defense. YOU, who knows nothing, and will make up the particulars despite the evidence. That's the tragedy here.
If you think the only choice is between total permissiveness or out of control beatings, you don't know jack about parenting.
Discipline and training begin at an early age. If your kid is out of control at sixteen, you probably dropped the ball a lot earlier in the game. (And you probably know you did.) Crazed whippings are for parents who don't want to put in the time to parent effectively and who have lost their self control.
I had a friend who was parented just like the girl in the video. Didn't work. She got into more and more trouble until her parents sent her to military school. There were no crazed whippings in military school. There was structure, high expectation, respect, and consistent punishment, and she thrived. If her parents had bothered to implement any of that at home, they could have saved themselves the cost of military school tuition.
There are all sorts of consequences one can impose for bad behavior that don't involve acting like a nutjob while you wildly flail around with a belt. There's even regular corporal punishment if you want to go that route, but it doesn't look anything like this video.
Freeman Hunt,
If you think the only choice is between total permissiveness or out of control beatings, you don't know jack about parenting.
No one - not one person - suggested that. Discipline and training begin at an early age. If your kid is out of control at sixteen, you probably dropped the ball a lot earlier in the game. (And you probably know you did.) Crazed whippings are for parents who don't want to put in the time to parent effectively and who have lost their self control.
This isn't "crazed" - the parents are obviously pissed, but nothing more. I had a friend who was parented just like the girl in the video. Didn't work. She got into more and more trouble until her parents sent her to military school. There were no crazed whippings in military school. There was structure, high expectation, respect, and consistent punishment, and she thrived. If her parents had bothered to implement any of that at home, they could have saved themselves the cost of military school tuition.
There also isn't some unseen authority anyone can appeal to (like a mob of online commentators or a feminized social structure with government backing) in the military. You have to answer for what you do, period. And there's little chance that if you have to suffer, say, a blanket party that your cries will reach anyone who gives a damn. You either learn to shape up or else. That's what you guys are taking away from parents with this nonsense. There are all sorts of consequences one can impose for bad behavior that don't involve acting like a nutjob while you wildly flail around with a belt. There's even regular corporal punishment if you want to go that route, but it doesn't look anything like this video.
I like that everyone arguing clearly in favor of corporal punishment is staying with the facts and telling you of the positives they got from it - we're the good guys who are also alive where others are not. The rest of you are arguing a position where, under almost any other situation, you'd be decrying the idiocy and permissiveness of people like this girl today. As bagoh said, she is OWS and (as I said) all the other bullshit artists out there, making shit up and attacking anyone and anything that says stick to the facts.
Stick to the facts.
How about the fact that this man's approach obviously didn't work by your own reckoning?
If she's OWS, and that's a fail, then he failed.
If he'd set up boundaries, respect, discipline, and consistency in his home, he wouldn't have made an ass of himself on video, and his daughter would be better off.
Crack wrote, with some misplaced vitriol that perhaps is a hint to his own leadership style, "For the last time - this isn't about downloading music, or the computer, but disobeying her parents (not just the father)."
Disobeying her parents? Huh? WTFO?
By the time a kid is 16 they are at an age to be doing more and more on their own, and they should not be subject to the petty tyrannies of their parents.
If the father wanted her to wear blue instead of yellow socks and she disobeyed, should she be beaten?
The parents, at this stage in her life, should be focusing on the fact that in a few years this girl will be on her own and making every decision for herself. The absolutely WRONG focus would be to insist on absolute and blind obedience.
Yes, she was wrong to pirate the music. But that doesn't merit a beating. Disobeying a parent at this age also does not merit a beating.
I believe in discipline, I'm a Marine. But discipline does not mean beating. Discipline is the willing adherence to a set of rules or standards. These parents are not instilling that. Your method will result in rebellious kids who can't make decisions for themselves because they've only been taught blind obedience. Once away from home, this girl shacked up with a boyfriend and continues to rebel against her family and likely other institutions.
Zero tolerance for disobedience at this girl's age is idiotic.
You are such a fucking moron.
Right back at you. Now I know I was on target.
Do you ever wonder why you have so much anger?
I would say that using a belt is well outside the bounds of acceptable punishment, but there is something else going on here. His entire focus is his own rage, his own ego (because she has disobeyed him) and his struggle for absolute control. His behavior has nothing to do with correcting her behavior, it's all about him, and his domination over the household.
I'm a parent, and I get thoroughly exasperated by my children from time to time. I've lost my temper, even when I perhaps should not have. But that sort of situation is clearly different than what is depicted on this video.
It is very sad to think about this child, and other children in similar situations.
"Loosing control and showing your rage to a kid is likely to cause that kid to loose all respect for your authority. Fine - let the kids run things because they know so much about the pressures of adult authority. You guys are a joke."
Authority is not Tyranny.
Respect is not Fear.
Leadership is not Brute Force.
Self-Control and Mastery over a situation is not Rage.
Gerad Hibbs said...
But, then again, should I reason that NOT punishing her will lead to worse and more dangerous behavior -- that I will have the courage to face down society and do what needs to to be done. And, I hope I'm not shouting fuck, ranting angrily and saying emotionally hurtful things while I am doing my duty.
Oh, you will believe me you will. Your children, should you blessed to have as many as you want, will be the loves of your lives and the most hated creatures ever to grace the earth sometimes, but always remember that proper discipline applied appropriately will go a long long way to cementing the moral an ethical boundaries your children will need for themselves as adults to integrate into their lives when they have children. But there will be a time or two that they will just go batshit crazy and you have to be there to make that shit stop. You're the parents and people will expect you to do your job as such.
Methadras,
The girl clearly was setting her parents up, but that's because it is clear there is more than one instance where this happened.
I'm amazed how often you guys are willing to submit your own version of events for what we can obviously see. Is it clear this is a habit? Or did she know she'd really crossed the line this time? You don't know, but you make up a history for the father out of whole cloth.
I'd hate to be on a jury with you guys because half of our deliberations would be dedicated to just batting down your imaginations.
I'm not sure what you are reading into what I'm saying. I thought I was being literal when I said, she set her parents up because this was not the first time it's happened. Now we find out that hey, this isn't the first time it's happened. Maybe we are talking past each other, but I still believe he was excessive in his use of force to correct her behavior. I'm not saying he shouldn't have used force, just not that much. I'm not making up any history. I'm just speculating why a girl would sit on a video like this for years and then release it.
She's basically telling dad, "I fucking hate you and here is a big fuck you." How hard is that?
What the heck Mr. Adams?
His entire focus is his own rage, his own ego (because she has disobeyed him) and his struggle for absolute control.
Bingo.
What you are watching in this video is an out of control parent raging on a defenseless child.
People in this thread defending this guy or dumping on the kid know nothing of child abuse. There is nothing this kid could do to prevent being beaten. If it hadn't been the internet it would have been the clothes she was wearing, or her fingernail polish, or her grades in school, or pick anything.
Did she know it was coming and set up the video? Probably. Kids in this hell learn to read the signs very well. They are hyper-aware of their abuser's mood and develop (usually dysfunctional) coping strategies.
That isn't to say there is no normal way to administer corporal punishment or discipline. But this isn't that.
Hillary Adams appeared on a morning show this morning.
"It wasn't any huge happening or anything" that prompted her to post the video, she said. "I told him I had the video. He didn't seem to think anything of it, and basically dared me to post it."
"But her mother, Hallie Adams, who took part in the belt-whipping in the nearly eight-minute video, acknowledged that its release comes as Judge Adams seeks to regain custody of their 10-year-old daughter. The couple divorced in 2007 after nearly 22 years of marriage."
from NBC appearance: "It wasn't any huge happening or anything" that prompted her to post the video, she said. "I told him I had the video. He didn't seem to think anything of it, and basically dared me to post it."
Defiant to the bitter end.
Considering she is the one we KNOW is repeatedly abusing the computer privileges
How do we "know" that, again? Oh yeah, the guy abusing her said it.
Republican wrote: "Defiant to the bitter end."
Not sure if that applies better to the father or the daughter.
Freeman Hunt,
How about the fact that this man's approach obviously didn't work by your own reckoning?
If she's OWS, and that's a fail, then he failed.
Yeah, like OWs is one misguided kid. It's not - it's a whole crowd of misguided kids, supporting each other, demanding we bow to the demands of their ignorance.
Skyler,
By the time a kid is 16 they are at an age to be doing more and more on their own, and they should not be subject to the petty tyrannies of their parents.
Ahh, so I should've let my football player-sized nephew call his math teacher a faggot and disrupt class - because he was 16? You're clowning yourself, Sky. You know better. It was my job to put an end to it, and I did, and, today, he's grateful - just as bagoh and I say we are grateful.
Ralph L,
Do you ever wonder why you have so much anger?
Nope, not my issue, punk ass. You want a kleenex?
Patrick,
His entire focus is his own rage, his own ego (because she has disobeyed him) and his struggle for absolute control.
Then it's also the mother's. it's funny how you guys are focused on him and leave her out - pure feminist bullshit. This is about two parents dealing with an unruly child focused on hurting her father - as you all are. As this society is.
is there anyone here who is going to tell me kids today aren't worse than ever in American history? And this, as your version of parenting is the norm? You're lying to yourselves. Sorry, but you know I can't join you in that deception.
Finally, this talk of the ego is pure NewAge pablum. You want to abandon your ego, go right ahead, but the rest of us are human and worthy of our own self-regard. Try to take that away - even nicely - and it's you who deserve a butt whipping.
Canuck,
Authority is not Tyranny.
And a child is not an authority on anything but being a child. You, all, seem to want to embue this brain full of mush (as Rush would say) with an agency she neither had or deserved. And she knew it and still knows it:
She's got fools on her side - and a society unwilling to deal with them.
Methadras,
I'm not sure what you are reading into what I'm saying.
It is being repeatedly suggested there is some history of "abuse" by the father that no one can have knowledge of. That's it.
DaveW,
People in this thread defending this guy or dumping on the kid know nothing of child abuse.
I'm a foster child. I know more about child abuse, of every kind and many none of you have thought of, than probably everyone on this blog. You make a travesty of the word "abuse" using it in this context. This was a normal everyday belt whipping, which kids endure daily with no emotional or physical scars what-so-ever. All you guys are revealing is why kids today are so bad - you allow it. I'm standing with the parents.
Republican,
Defiant to the bitter end.
Look at the m,ajority of comments on this thread and tell me she has reason to do or be anything else. It's just like with my wife - I was bad because I was black, and "a man," plus a conservative, and because I wasn't some pastel pushover. Now three people are dead and all of her defenders are gone - snakes in the grass with no intention of answering for the consequences of the positions they hold.
The next time a pack of teens go wilding, I'm going to be sure to remind you all of what you're saying now, because you're the reason it's happening.
Revenant ,
Oh yeah, the guy abusing her said it.
And the mother - BOTH PARENTS said it, Rev. Get your lie straight.
Skyler,
Republican wrote: "Defiant to the bitter end."
Not sure if that applies better to the father or the daughter.
And on that kids-should-determine-for-the-family note, I'm done. Listen to OWS, folks, they know everything.
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