December 26, 2011

"What? Did you think we got you crackers?"

Crackers.

What a charmingly low-key family! I really enjoyed watching that after watching — and being told to love — this.

35 comments:

Asst. Attorney General said...

Happy Kwanzaa to all you crackers.

DADvocate said...

If my parents had gotten me a box of club crackers, I would have cried. I hate club crackers.

Sea Urchin said...

We had a similar incident while I was growing up, but it didn't turn out nearly so well. (This young man is more charming and well-behaved than any of us, apparently.)

One of my older brothers boxed his present to my youngest brother (probably 5 or so at the time, I think?) in a popcorn box. My YB was FURIOUS. "You got me POPCORN?!?" he shouted, and dashed out of the room in tears.

When we cajoled him to come back and open the popcorn box, he discovered that inside, my OB (who was fond of playing practical jokes) had thoughtfully boxed up several lumps of charcoal for him.

More tears. We had to go comfort him and haul him back a second time to receive the real present.

Whatever the real present was, it was way less memorable than coal in a popcorn box.

DADvocate said...

Crackers - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-ee8SO47Sc&feature=related

Writ Small said...

re: the Jezebel video, I hope the little girl grows up and is just as resentful of her dad's manipulation.

edutcher said...

The Blonde always gets me Tastykakes at Christmas (I grew up just outside Philadelphia and they're a taste of home) and wraps them (I know...), so my first thought was he likes Club Crackers, but he looks old enough to be able to take a joke and saw it coming.

Good for him. He's being raised right.

Asst. Attorney General said...

Happy Kwanzaa to all you crackers.

I believe the proper form is, "Good Kwanzaa to all you crackers".

Tyrone Slothrop said...

I got Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood for my birthday a week ago. I give it a 6.5. Too much gathering and not enough ass kicking. There has been one sequence so far that I would definitely call R-rated.

rhhardin said...

Teasing is one way to make a dog crazy. He's trying to make sense of what doesn't make sense. Yet people do it.

I don't tease kids either.

EDH said...

All the versions of "Assasin's Creed" I can find are either 17+ or 18+. No wonder the kid was psyched.

On the other hand, what's not to love about a precocious child's push-back against gender norming?

As for the crackers, I like Club Crackers, but I would have immediately thrown a tantrum because they weren't Multi-Grain.

Ann Althouse said...

My mother -- in gifts to her grandchildren -- used to add a package of Tic Tacs to the box before she wrapped it, to confuse the kids who liked to shake packages and guess what's inside. After the first year, they knew it was Tic Tacs, but she did it anyway, because they thought it was funny.

Phil 3:14 said...

do "charming" and "assassin's creed" go together?

Phil 3:14 said...

and I thought this post was going to be about this.

shirley elizabeth said...

I got cheez-its from two different people this Christmas...they know me well.

Growing up in my mom's health-crazy house, for our birthdays and Christmas, we would often get little treats of junk food we otherwise never saw. My husband thinks it's a weird tradition, but it's hard to kick the habit.

Jennifer said...

This is just like that video of the little boy telling Bachmann that his mom was a lesbian and didn't need to be fixed. Messages that might be powerful and even touching if it weren't for the painfully obvious coaching by the parents. Instead, it's just sad.

One of the biggest joys of parenting is watching your children grow their own hearts and minds. I really can't understand the desire to indoctrinate them instead.

The family in the other video is charming indeed. It reminds me of a Christmas long ago when my brother asked for a skateboard. My stepdad and my mom got a two-by-four and screwed skate trucks and wheels into it. And when he opened it, they told him that it was going to be so fun working on it and shaping it in to a skateboard together. My poor brother was trying so hard to act as though that sounded like a wonderful idea, powering through the crushing disappointment. And I was trying so hard not to giggle, knowing that they had, of course, actually gotten him a real skateboard. That's a fun memory.

Freeman Hunt said...

My father-in-law got socks and underwear for Christmas one year when he was a child. But those were his real and only presents.

Cheryl said...

What a cute kid! My mom actually did that to me this year. She used the box from those glass watering globes to put something much better in. I unwrapped it and said, "Thanks." It wasn't until about three hours later she realized I hadn't opened the box!

It used to be that my grandmother's dear friend, whom we called "Aunt Sue," would put about a zillion sticks of gum (juicy fruit, doublemint) in a box and wrap it up. All of us cousins loved that gift, just a big box of gum, and not even bubblegum. I miss that gift.

But that little girl...what the heck is on her t-shirt?

Deb said...

Says something good about the child that he didn't have a afit or even seem disappointed when he saw the cracker box.

frankz said...

elizabeth shirley, i'm with you. i would much rather had gotten the club crackers than a video game about killing.

and along the line of verboten foods. my sister made candy verboten in her house. so, it was even more desirable for her kids since it was taboo. everything in moderation.

frankz said...

how can anyone "hate" club crackers. They're a pretty neutral flavor. i can see preferring other crackers or not liking club crackers, but "hating" them seems like there are some other issues involved.

DADvocate said...

how can anyone "hate" club crackers.

Please use a question mark.

It's not hard. Just hate them. Just give your hate a chance. Club crackers are a little buttery and greasy. Saltines are infinitely better. That box contains more club crackers than I've eaten in my entire life. Yuk!!

Robert Cook said...

Oh no, Club Crackers are wonderful, and preferable to Saltine crackers, (which I do enjoy...but they're bland where Club Crackers actually have flavor).

Don't Tread 2012 said...

"Happy Kwanzaa to all you crackers."

And a very KFC Kwanzaa to you as well!!!

All of our kids got boxes of macaroni and cheese as gifts for Christmas, its a favorite guilty pleasure for them.

Don't Tread 2012 said...

Dadvocate, I gotta go with Robert Cook on this one. I like both, but Club crackers and saltines are totally different animals altogether.

Saltines/oyster crackers are optimum with soups/chowders/chili, where the Club cracker is a better mate for toppers or eaten alone.

Neither are good for making melted cheese snacks, in that case, the Triscuit is the hands-down winner.

wv - disboott

Freeman Hunt said...

My sons love the gifts they got, but they probably would have loved boxes of crackers nearly as much. Little kids like crackers.

DADvocate said...

Neither are good for making melted cheese snacks, in that case, the Triscuit is the hands-down winner.

I'll agree with you on that. Don't like oyster crackers much, but Club crackers, yuk, yuk.

EDH said...

Club crackers are a little buttery and greasy.

Try the Multi-Grain, muthafucka!

wv - "liquefe" = woops, I think she just had an accident

DADvocate said...

Try the Multi-Grain, muthafucka!

Nope. Too many good crackers out there to bother. The popularity of Club crackers is another sign of just how sick our society has become.

Issob Morocco said...

I dunno, Keebler's Club Crackers are a delightful, buttery, flaky carrier cracker. Pairs up well with smoked meats, fishes, as well as cheeses and dips.

I think the parents would have been better to really get him the Club Crackers than a video game.

Issob Morocco said...

EDH-Multigrain are great just on their own. They do rule!

ken in sc said...

When I was a kid I wanted toys but mostly got socks and underwear. Now that I am over 60, and need socks and underwear, I get mostly toys—Ipods, GPS, etc. It seems you never get what you really want.

frankz said...

it seems to me drawing a line in the sand on the topic of crackers means one of two things. either a youthful trauma involving crackers or someone who draws many lines in the sand over inane subjects. don't you think dadvocate????

there' a few extra question marks. they seem very important to you, like crackers.

frankz said...

issob, i enjoyed your constuctive critique on crackers. don't you just "hate" people who "hate" crackers???

DADvocate said...

either a youthful trauma involving crackers or someone who draws many lines in the sand over inane subjects. don't you think dadvocate????

Or someone who likes to joke around.

"Animal crackers in my soup
Monkeys and rabbits loop the loop
Gosh, oh gee! but I have fun
Swallowing animals one by one"

But, I really don't like Club crackers. Every cracker I've ever tried, I like better than Club crackers. Elves be damned.

frankz said...

there you go dadvocate. i just think we need to keep "hate" for substantive issues, like sports teams, politicians, child molestors, etc. maybe I could abide "hate" in reference to gluten free crackers. Have you tried those mofo's? they would have to get better to be bad.

Freeman Hunt said...

We are the weirdos in the family who will not buy video games. Doesn't every family have those people?