March 13, 2012

A plague of pigs!

Razor sharp tusks! Attacking humans! They only come out at night!
"They eat everything... They’ll eat the understory in a forest and dig up plants by rooting the ground for insects and roots. They compete with wildlife for food. They’re the most destructive mammal out there."
The most destructive mammal out there... Finally! Pigs have come to save human beings from the shame of being first on the Most Destructive Mammal list.

35 comments:

Icepick said...

Shame? I think not! I'm proud to be at the top of Most Destructive Mammal list, and in order to put those damned pogs in their place I'm going to eat extra amounts of bacon and ham today. Take that, porkers!

VWs: noluv yetrea

Scott M said...

You can, cheaply, charter a hunting team in southern Missouri that basically puts you in the back of a big pickup truck, drives you out into an area lousy with these things, and sits quietly for a couple of hours.

When the guide gives the word, they turn on the flood lights and, supposedly, the clearing you're parked in should be full of the damned things.

Pull the trigger and keep going until you run out of ammo. No limit on the things and, as a bonus, pork.

Expat(ish) said...

And they're hard to kill. Deer, for example, can be killed with really really small arms - I have a friend who (illegally) harvests deer with a 22 rifle. He's a fabulous shot, but still.

Contra-wise, I shot a feral hog in Florida some years ago with four rounds of .308. One in the spine behind the head, two in the hips, one in the shoulder. The first should have been a killing shot, the other three were to keep him from running away from the dogs.

For reference, the .308 was the standard military round in the US and the UK and parts of Europe for almost a hundred years.

And my guy was still not down. So I shot him in the ear with a 45 FMJ. Twice. That took care of it.

Finally, a friend of mine shot a hog at about 75 yards with a .243 and hit him dead center in the chest. Three times. Then he shot him in the eye and the hog was down. Turns out the hog had pebbles and resin (from rubbing on pine trees) embedded in his chest hair. Great, bullet proof vests too.

-XC

Triangle Man said...

I am willing to foreshorten my life by dedicating myself to the cause of helping to reduce the number of these things by eating them. Especially the baconey parts.

Sorun said...

Speaking of concealed carry, the only time I've whipped my gun out with serious intent was when a male feral pig refused to run away from me. But he eventually did before I had to go all Dirty Harry on him. That was in Louisiana.

Pogo said...

"“There’s a real sense of urgency,” said Ed Reed, a wildlife biologist for the state’s Department of Environmental Conservation."

The government sees a sense of urgency in every little thing they seek to control.

Something Must Be Done!

Dose of Sanity said...

Conceal carry to protect yourself from the pigs!

Question: What is the difference between a 'feral pig' and a boar? Historically Boars were very dangerous - so I guess it isn't too surprising to see this article.

traditionalguy said...

The survival all mammals depends upon the brain power that recognizes predators that are hunting it and takes defensive maneuvers.

Finding a diet and procreating are important too, but not as important.

That is why I do not compromise with but fight Nazis, Communists and Obamanites, all of whom who hunt humans like me in order to redistribute the earth among a Master Race or a Race of Masters.

How's that Global Warming by man made CO2 trace gas Hoax doing today?

Their latest strategies are a mandated maiming of the few allowed to be born babies designed to produce midgets and a mandated drugs a to produce a vomiting of all red meat.

If our mammal self defense instincts accept that, then we deserve to die as midget vegans with no family.

traditionalguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
gerry said...

My family coat of arms is a feral pig rampant on a field of arugula with the motto "Eat or Be Eaten"
emblazoned above.

All my forbears were big men and women. All pork eaters.

gerry said...

"midget vegans"

A lovely neo-grunge-cum-heavy-metal band name, I must say.

Sorun said...

Conceal carry to protect yourself from the pigs!

Freedoms can have multiple uses. But that's right-wing mindset.

Concealed carry is good in the woods so the weenies you encounter don't pee their pants and call the cops because they saw a gun.

Christy said...

Wasn't it a wild boar that birthed Adonis (Tammuz) from his mother Myrna by splitting the tree she'd been turned into? And wasn't it a wild boar that eventually killed him, giving us the anemone flower which sprang up wherever his blood dropped?

In short, wild pigs are prominent in mythology precisely because they are nasty dangerous critters and were much feared by our ancients.

edutcher said...

Pigs is pigs.

Sorun said...

Speaking of concealed carry, the only time I've whipped my gun out with serious intent was when a male feral pig refused to run away from me. But he eventually did before I had to go all Dirty Harry on him. That was in Louisiana.

A man's GOT to know his limitations.

WV "hertith" Something elth Rush can't talk about.

MadisonMan said...

It seems like the solution is obvious. Open a pig-processing factory. Tell people you'll buy carcasses to process, but they must be freshly killed.

I wonder if the Tornado Club on the square has Wild Boar on its menu.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

What is the difference between a 'feral pig' and a boar?

None, since a boar is a male pig that hasn't been castrated.

BarrySanders20 said...

Mmmmmm. Pigs. Pork tenderloin, pork chops, ham, bacon, ribs, all the good spiced stuff like prosciutto.

And not just for eating. About six months ago I bought a bunch of shares of HOGS, a Chinese hog producer. I figure there are lots of Chinese, they are improving their standard of living, and they need to eat. I think more Chinese will discover the tastiness of pig, which should grow the company and its profits. The stock's done OK, nothing great so far, but the premise seems sound.

PatCA said...

Brought by Christopher Columbus! Just like smallpox. White men are bad.

LarryK said...

The most destructive mammal out there is half man, half bear, and half pig. That's a heap of hybrid vigor; full-on pig is not nearly as ferocious.

Uggnoti? Ringme! sayeth the WV

Mary Beth said...

Robert Baratheon was killed by a boar.

Now I'm going to go cook some bacon. Yummy, yummy bacon.

Paddy O said...

Not too long ago, Santa Cruz Island, off the coast of SoCal, finally got rid of all its pigs.

Shot 'em. Though, this being Southern California, we had to hire the job out to New Zealanders.

I went camping there in the early 2000s, before the eradication started. There were pig bones everywhere, all around the camp sites. Breeding, eating, dying for centuries.

Now the island fox is making a comeback, bald eagles are getting established (driving off the golden eagles), and the channel islands are starting to be a fair bit more themselves again.

Steve Burri said...

Pigs have come to save human beings from the shame of being first on the Most Destructive Mammal list.

People, people, people... work with me here! We can do better! No go out and destroy something.

We're #1! We're #1!

TMink said...

Most destructive, and most tasty.

I see a trend.

I envision an outcome!

Trey

William said...

I don't know how many jokes would be made about feral pigs if one of your family members had been eaten by a horde of these vile creatures. Perhaps if we introduce night hunting predators such as Bengal tigers into their environment, the problem can be solved.

Scott M said...

Perhaps if we introduce night hunting predators such as Bengal tigers into their environment, the problem can be solved

That has the added benefit of keeping the unarmed serf population indoors at night. It worked will for the Draka.

Scott M said...

will=well

d'oh

dunce said...

On the feral pig and boar thing, domestic male pigs are castrated when young or the meat has a bad smell when cooked. You would not like the smell of a wild boar cooking.

EDH said...

Probably a song about the Boomers.

March of the Pigs
5 sec ad)

step right up,
march,
push,
crawl right up on your knees,
please,
greed,
feed,
(no time to hesitate)

I want a little bit,
I want a piece of it,
I think he's losing it,
I want to watch it come down,
don't like the look of it,
don't like the taste of it,
don't like the smell of it,
I want to watch it come down.

all the pigs are all lined up,
I give you all that you want,
take the skin and peel it back,
now doesn't it make you feel better?

shove it up inside,
surprise,
lies,
stains like the blood on your teeth,
bite,
chew,
suck,
(away the tender parts)

I want to break it up,
I want to smash it up,
I want to fuck it up,
I want to watch it come down.
make me afraid of it,
let's discredit it,
let's pick away at it,
I want to watch it come down.

all the pigs are all lined up,
I give you all that you want,
take the skin and peel it back,
and doesn't it make you feel better?
the pigs have won tonight,
now they can all sleep soundly,
and everything is all right.

MadisonMan said...

You would not like the smell of a wild boar cooking.

Kill them young!

Scott M said...

Kill them young!

Suckling boar?

I knew a woman that broke up with a guy because he was a suckling bore.

rehajm said...

Worst curse in the animal kingdom: to taste delicious.

Michael said...

Some years ago concerned scientists wished to eliminate the feral pig from Hawaii, the feral pig which was destroying rare native plants, intefering with the habitat of ground nesting birds and otherwise being very politically incorrect envirnomentally-wise. The scientists tried to enlist the support of the indigenous, native, all-natural local Hawiians who were informed that the feral pigs were, unlike themselves, not native to Hawaii and were destroying the environment, the native and natural environment. No go. The n ative Hawiians like their pig hunts and their pig roasts.
There you have it.

Kate Danaher said...

They only come out at night?

Probably the lean and hungry type.

Nothing is new - I've seen them here before.

paul a'barge said...

Folks, you just can't believe how good these wild pigs taste, especially if you get them when they're small.

They are not a bug, they're a feature. Let the hunting and killing begin.

Skookum John said...

This problem is handled quite expeditiously in Texas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGC1tjHCSVE