July 16, 2012

"He was the only guy who was ever nice to me."

Explanation a woman gave for why she kept the dead body of a man in her house for what the police say was 18 months.
She kept the body clean and dressed and talked to it while watching NASCAR on television.
And she cashed his Social Security checks.

45 comments:

chickelit said...

No worries--they were not romantically "linked."

Eustace Chilke said...

When I read this a couple of days ago I asked my wife if she would keep me on the couch and watch TV with me if I die. She declined. I shouldn't have asked because I was a little deflated by her answer.

Thorley Winston said...

Clear case of welfare fraud – throw the book at her.

Tim said...

When they say it isn't about the money...it's about the money.

Always.

God, An Original A-hole said...

This woman is eerily similar to the woman in the Terry Gilliam film Tideland... it got bad reviews, but I liked it!

edward irvin said...

"A Rose For Emily" = William Faulkner

bagoh20 said...

I have a number of disgusting questions.

Michael K said...

The postscript is that she killed him. That'll teach him to be nice to her.

BarrySanders20 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BarrySanders20 said...

I bet she asked him how she should spend his SS check.

"Honey, do you have any objection to me buying those fabulous shoes I told you about?"

(Silence).

"Thanks honey, you're the best -- the only guy who's ever been nice to me. I'll go them and show when I get home."

edutcher said...

Giving her his Social Security checks, dead or not, is one of those transcendant acts of chivalry.

Clearly, he would have wanted it this way.

chickelit said...

No worries--they were not romantically "linked."

Shame on you, anti-deadist bigot.

Palladian said...

If you've has ever had the misfortune of seeing and smelling the effects of just a few days of room temperature on a dead mammalian body, this story should lead you to want to ask some unpleasant questions... bloating... purge fluid... lividity... larvae...

Palladian said...

Maybe she had a really, really big Ronco food dehydrator...

AprilApple said...

"He was getting to be a bit whiffy, so I gave him a good going over with the deodorant."

bgates said...

She wasn't by chance named "Julia", was she?

bagoh20 said...

Dead guys are always the nicest. They are patient and respectful listeners, they don't hog the remote, never leave their sock laying about, and are unerringly loyal - the perfect man.

jr565 said...

Michael K wrote:
The postscript is that she killed him. That'll teach him to be nice to her.

Is that true? I thought he died of natural causes.

Chip Ahoy said...

How'd he die? Mushrooms. Gotta bad batch of mushrooms. You were married before, right? Yeah. What happened there? Mushrooms. Was that your first husband? No. Who was the first? Some guy. This is starting to sound serious what happened to the first guy? Died. Don't tell me, mushrooms. No he didn't eat no poison mushrooms. So how he die? Beat to death. What? Wouldn't eat his mushrooms.

AllieOop said...

What a stiff.

ndspinelli said...

I bet the "niceness" commenced after he died.

Jaske said...

Once upon a time, disgusting questions where asked by a judge.
Verily, oh!
Property Fairy.

m stone said...

Need a photo. Let's see Chip animate this one.

Blue@9 said...

WTF, does she live in a freezer? How did he not decompose?

ricpic said...

In this vale of tears you need somebody to rely on. If that body happens to be cold...it's still better than nobody.

Eric said...

Watching NASCAR? Disgusting.

Rabel said...

There's often a message in an Althouse post.

Has anyone actually seen Meade lately?

JohnnyT1948 said...

Dead guys are always the nicest. They are patient and respectful listeners, they don't hog the remote, never leave their sock laying about, and are unerringly loyal - the perfect man.

He also never left the toilet seat up.

Rose said...

How often did he vote?

Coketown said...

Anna Wintour: "No excuses, Sarah Jessica Parker-Broderick. The corpse has got to go along with the rest of this shabby-chic garbage if we are going to host a fundraiser!"

pst314 said...

"He was the only guy who was ever nice to me."

Because everyone else could tell she was a monster.

chickelit said...

She kept the body clean and dressed and talked to it while watching NASCAR on television.

She lapped circles around him, pulled ahead easily, never got behind, and always blew through to the winner's circle.

garage mahal said...

Wonder how long this guy was dead before the wife, you know, noticed.

jimbino said...

It seems to me that Social Security benefits are paid by direct deposit in a bank account.

Nice story though.

A man who marries a series of five wives for 10 years each, starting at 22 will leave Social Security benefits to all of them when he dies at age 63.

And all of them, foreigners, will treat him oh so well.

Jaske said...

Cousin, Cherry.

WineSlob said...

A Corpse is a Corpse
Of Course Of Course
You Know You Can Talk to a Corpse Of Course
That is Of Course Because the Corpse
Is a Gift-Horse Who Dropped Dead

Go Right to the Source and Ask the Corpse
He'll Give You Some Fat Check$ That You'll Endorse
And With No Force, Without Remorse
You're Makin' Lots of Bread

Authorities Yakkity Yak and Snoop and Worry You Some Days
But That Rancid Corpse Will Never Speak, Just Sits There Rotting Away.

Get Warped With A Corpse, A Corpse, A Corpse
Just Talk to the Corpse 'Til the Law's Enforced
You've Never Heard of a Talking Corpse?

Well Listen to This:

"I am Sittin' Here Dead."

MaggotAtBroad&Wall said...

Lots of women keep guys around solely for their checks. So she stretched it out several months longer after he died, what's the big deal?

Whatever you do, do not judge her. Do not shame her. Do not shun her. She knows that those of us who work and pay taxes will give her a check. She's only doing what liberalism has conditioned her to do. Which is to expect someone else to pay her freight. It's the American way.

WestVirginiaRebel said...

Well, in all honesty, aren't some husbands exactly like this?

Carnifex said...

She's considering converting to Islam, where there's not such a stigma attached to necrophilia.

"This looks like a good place for a 'Stick Up'"

Uhhh, Chip would have to re-animate, and as good as he is...c'mon!

okay, just thought of a story for next cafe! Heh, heh, heh, he said with a Renfield kind of laugh.

Craig said...

Common law should entitle her to survivor benefits.

KJE said...

I have a co-worker that I could easily see doing exactly the same thing. :-/

pst314 said...

WestVirginiaRebel 12:20 AM "Well, in all honesty, aren't some husbands exactly like this?"

Lady Nancy Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."
Winston Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."

Jaske said...

Men decide far more problems by hate, love, lust, rage, sorrow, joy, hope, fear, illusion, or some other inward emotion, than by reality, authority, any legal standard, judicial precedent, or statute.

Cicero

Tibore said...

"Rabel said...
There's often a message in an Althouse post.

Has anyone actually seen Meade lately?"


LMAO! OMG, that's so wrong... :D

David Blaska said...

Plus, he listened.

Leland said...

I hope her lawyer pleads insanity. After all, we have all these women down here killing people, and their lawyers always go for insanity. This lady fits the bill better than Yates or McClain.