October 1, 2012

When sperm-donor dad wants into the child's life and the biological mother sides with him.

And her lesbian partner, who had been able to adopt the child — because the father had signed away his legal rights — doesn't want him in. The 2 women became estranged over this dispute, and the biological parents tried to run off to California with the child. Who ends up with the child? The adoptive mother. Do you see why?

In the ruling, the [New York] judge said the biology of the child was irrelevant and that [the adoptive mother] Scollar was 'indeed the more responsible parent looking out for the child’s best interests, not her own interests'.

She added that [the biological mother] Altman, a former producer for Martha Stewart’s TV show, 'behaved more as a friend or older sister than a responsible parent.'

She noted that Scollar had the child on a schedule, always brought her to school on time and to therapy appointments.

Altman, on the other hand was a 'freer spirit' and a 'more laid-back parent' who would 'miss therapy appointments or be late to school or camp bus because she overslept or felt that play dates were more important than therapy or that play dates should end late in the evening so that the child and she were too tired to commit to a schedule.'
Forget the importance of having a relationship with your natural mother and father. Scheduling. That's important. 

247 comments:

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yashu said...

Eh. Inga is often something of a drama queen, and that often annoys me. (The number of threads that ultimately become "all about Inga" is indication of something.)

Yet to her credit, I think Inga has acknowledged something of her love for drama. And there are plenty of other drama queens here besides Inga, And IMO the most dramatic of drama queens here aren't female-- but, shall we say, rather macho. (I lol'd at Palladian's reference to "the bunch of calcified old straight queens around here" earlier today. Which is not to say I necessarily dislike those old straight queens, I kinda like some of them! But drama queens they are.) And in this particular case (other cases being different), I don't think Inga herself is to blame (or more to blame than her attackers) for Inga-centric drama.

No one involved here is a troll. (And overall, for all my irritation, I think it's a positive that Inga comments here.) But as I said to Inga once, "sometimes feeding a troll is a way to feed oneself." The same applies not just to trolls but certain kinds of commenter personalities. It's easy enough to accuse someone else of being a drama queen, but if you're making that drama queen into your personal piñata, you're likely feeding into and feeding off of that drama just as much, or more.

The Farmer said...

I only care at destroying the entirety of the miserable ideology you defend here. Everything else is off limits to me.

You seem bound and determined to destroy my feelings, I'll tell you that.

Methadras said...

Inga said...

Oso Negro, I do understand the anguish a father must feel when he should be the custodial parent and loses his case. I'm glad you won your case. I even understand being bitter, what I don't understand is taking it out on anonymous commenters in a comments section on a blog.


Wow, what patronizing garbage. And you wonder why you get attacked?

Methadras said...

The Farmer said...

I only care at destroying the entirety of the miserable ideology you defend here. Everything else is off limits to me.

You seem bound and determined to destroy my feelings, I'll tell you that.


Then there are dolts like you that I enjoy flaming to a crisp. I don't give two shits about your feelings. Grow a pair. Hell, maybe Inga will give you hers to bolt on.

Inga said...

Methadras, I comment here, a place that is 90% conservative. Me, being a liberal and worse a liberal woman, I know full well that it's not going to be smooth sailing for me here, that's not why I'm here. If I wanted easy I'd be commenting on liberal blogs. As I said I have bigger balls than many of you macho conservative men who would never venture onto a liberal blog.

There are many conservatives here who don't sink to your level Meth and they get their point across. I know you hate all liberals, you've said as much several times, but you come across as unhinged at times.

The Farmer said...

Methadras said...
Then there are dolts like you that I enjoy flaming to a crisp. I don't give two shits about your feelings. Grow a pair. Hell, maybe Inga will give you hers to bolt on.


I've never been spoken to like this in my life! This is an outrage! You don't give a fig who you tick off, do you!

The Farmer said...

I was feeling pretty good about myself this morning. Then I ran into a couple of commenters on the Althouse blog who play by their own rules and aren't afraid to call 'em like they see 'em, and now I feel about two feet tall.

Inga said...

Oh Farmer, who knows, they may dwarfs in real life.;)

Inga said...

No insult to dwarfs!

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I've never been spoken to like this in my life! This is an outrage! You don't give a fig who you tick off, do you!

He dramatically said, while clutching his pearls and reaching frantically for the fainting couch.

Inga said...

Now, I'm leaving with my date for the rest of the evening, which will be drama free and filled with love and adoration.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Now, I'm leaving with my date for the rest of the evening, which will be drama free and filled with love and adoration.

Walking the dog?

bagoh20 said...

"Everything else is off limits to me."

Well, that part could use a little work.

Aridog said...

Ah, le dénouement de l'étron tombant

Such drama ... ker plop.

bagoh20 said...

OK, now she's gone - I can talk about her:

I disagree with Inga on almost everything, except that she likely does have bigger balls than most here. I don't know why she puts up with the abuse. The things she says are by no means so ideologically disagreeable to warrant it.

She does not generally attack until attacked first, which is nearly every time she makes a comment, regardless of content.

It's simple bullying, for all the reasons that bullies bully. It's ugly, and unbecoming of someone on the right side of anything.

Aridog said...

Bagoh20 ...I don't know why she puts up with the abuse.

You're kidding, right?

Maybe I am missing something.

Methadras said...

Inga said...

Methadras, I comment here, a place that is 90% conservative. Me, being a liberal and worse a liberal woman, I know full well that it's not going to be smooth sailing for me here, that's not why I'm here. If I wanted easy I'd be commenting on liberal blogs. As I said I have bigger balls than many of you macho conservative men who would never venture onto a liberal blog.

There are many conservatives here who don't sink to your level Meth and they get their point across. I know you hate all liberals, you've said as much several times, but you come across as unhinged at times.


Then you are clearly a psychological masochist. Again, calling me unhinged is just another one of your little mischaracterizations that are clearly set up in your head to justify your little victimhood tracts. Dealing with liberals on liberal blogs isn't all that difficult and if you understand the definition of what unhinged means, then you clearly don't tread in the right places. I get my point across my way, not the way you are used to seeing. If you want to expose the scum, then you have drive down to that level. Once they've been exposed, I can come right back up and join the rest of the hoi pelloi conservatives on here who wouldn't dare dip their toes into your level of the tank. But that's cool. I'm more than happy to do that.

You gender is irrelevant aside from the claims of testicular largess, really when you strip down what you say here it's frankly nothing. Just a lot of one sentence poop drops of some bit of navel gazing without a lot of substance or narrative. Frankly, you are the equivalent of a honey pot that basically gets plopped in place, you make your little quip, get flamed, then run back to your little leftard enclave to point out how we are the debil. Whatever.

Someday and I don't know when this will happen, you will actually say something useful and meaningful that has some level of substance that articulates why your position has merit and should negate it's conservative opposite. I'd like to see that, but I'm not holding out my hopes. Keep trying though. For whatever that's worth.

Harold said...

And why is a 6 year old going to therapy? Perhaps because Heather has Two Mommies. And the other 6 year olds are being cruel, as 6 year olds are wont to be, and teasing her about it. That's just a supposition, of course- we're not allowed to know.

But- accoding to (liberal) studies- children raised by same sex parents are BETTER ADJUSTED emotionally then the ones raised by us heterosexual married couples. So gain, why is a 6 year old in therapy? Got to wonder...

As for JAL said...
...The biological dad? Well. Duh. You give your sperm away (sell?), you sign your rights and responsibilities away.... What did you expect?
********
My guess is that biological Dad hasn't been sued for child support yet. If he is, guess what? He'll have to pay up. Turns out other people aren't allowed to sign away the child's RIGHTS to the biological dads money. And there have been court cases saying so. I'm surprised adoptive mommy lawyer hasn't done this yet.

Methadras said...

bagoh20 said...

OK, now she's gone - I can talk about her:

I disagree with Inga on almost everything, except that she likely does have bigger balls than most here. I don't know why she puts up with the abuse. The things she says are by no means so ideologically disagreeable to warrant it.

She does not generally attack until attacked first, which is nearly every time she makes a comment, regardless of content.

It's simple bullying, for all the reasons that bullies bully. It's ugly, and unbecoming of someone on the right side of anything.


Really? You are falling for the bullshit bullying trope? Bullies bully because they can get away with it. They have nothing but intimidation on their side. Take that away and they have nothing. That's what a bully is, a thin veneer of a representation of a menace. Teach that menace a lesson and often than not they are nothing without that veneer. I am not a bully. I'm a warrior for my beliefs and ideology. I'm unconventional in the way I articulate it. I don't cower, I don't frighten, I don't back down. I can take the hits and I give them back a hundred fold. Know why, because that's not what a bully does, a bully crumbles like a house of cards. If you want to take the higher road, then that's all well and good, but I don't play by those normal conventions. I don't play by the same rules you do because I see things differently in terms of what is at stake for this country and the evil and rancid infestation of thought processes that Inga/garage/et al. and their ilk bring to the table to drag this country down. I'm not having it and as long as I live I won't put up with it. My parents didn't come to this country to raise politically correct pussies who would be cowed by the mere thought of the charge of intolerance or whatever other grievance peddling the other side used to cow those they disagree with.

You want to play it nice and cool and be buddies, then have a great time. But I'm out to destroy the ideology she holds onto for the phony bullshit it is. That she believes a lie and promotes it as gospel. That it's been accepted in government and disseminated to our children is abhorrent and she represents that. That it is used as a bludgeon against right minded conservative thinking patriotic people is offensive in every sense of the word.

She plasters her fucking face as an avatar and everyone goes all white knight and comes to her rescue while she infests her rancid ideas for everyone here to read. Awww, look at the nice lady saying stupid stuff. We must come to her aid immediately. Stop being a baddy to her Methadras, she's a nice lady. Look at her face. She's so nice and stuff.

You want to be liked, go play in a bridge club. You want to be a conservative, then destroy leftist ideology wherever it is. Otherwise you're doing it half-assed. I realize it is not in people nature to be as aggressive as I am and I recognize that I am very aggressive, but I have to be. Otherwise you will be killed with kindness and then you will wake up with a jackboot on your neck before you realize it.

Will someone please go ask Neville Chamberlain what that's like? Thank you.

Shanna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shanna said...

He dramatically said, while clutching his pearls and reaching frantically for the fainting couch.

Seriously. A bit overly dramatic around here sometimes.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

She does not generally attack until attacked first, which is nearly every time she makes a comment, regardless of content.

It's simple bullying, for all the reasons that bullies bully. It's ugly, and unbecoming of someone on the right side of anything.


What you guys, and I mean in the sense of male guys, are witnessing is a typical junior high school girl tactic of divide and conquer. Queen Bee syndrome and the tactic of
"Becoming the Victim" so the White Knight will come to the rescue. Everyone is bullying me...oh please be on my side and save me.

Girls, and women who have not grown beyond a certain state, do this for several reasons. 1. Be the center of attention 2. Pit groups against each other. One group who is antagonized into acting out against the Queen and the other that is recruited to defend and save the Queen. 3. The purpose is to reaffirm her desirability and attractiveness to the other sex and to cultivate sycophants. 4. Because the Queen Bee really doesn't believe in her own self worth, she needs to have the drama and validation.

HOWEVER....Bagoh20 is right in that the over the top badgering is too much. This is the internet and things can get out of hand and is unbecoming. Restraint. In REAL life, most people refuse to play the Queen Bee game and walk away. It is a sick game.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

And. I hadn't read Methadras last post about the White Knight before I made my posting about the Queen Bee, but I see that we are on the same mental track.

The Farmer said...

Methadras gets his point across his way, and that might not be what you squares are used to but he's not out to be liked. What do you think, he's some sort of bridge playing milquetoast? Bah! He's a warrior, and he articulates unconventionally! He plays by his own rules, so if you can't run with the big dogs, why, you'd best stay on the porch! Because if you mess with the bull you get the horns! Etc.!

The Farmer said...

Baghoh is right about Inga. His mustache is very wrong, but he is right.

chickelit said...

One group who is antagonized into acting out against the Queen and the other that is recruited to defend and save the Queen.

Bog save the queen
The fascist regime
They made you a moron
Potential F-bomb

Bog save the queen
She ain't no human being
There is no future
In Inga-land dreaming

Don't be told what you want
Don't be told what you need
There's no future, no future,
No future for you

Dust Bunny Queen said...

For no reason Adios

Palladian said...

You're kidding, right?

Maybe I am missing something.


You are: Inga flirts with him, therefore he plays the knight in shining armor in return.

yashu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Farmer said...

DBQ, green is an ugly color on you.

Nomennovum said...

Nomennovum said...
Careful, farmer. Your parroting of Inga is taking your white-knighting a step too far. You risk much.

10/1/12 6:33 PM
Inga said...
Wow, those kind of threats sound VERY familiar. That's what the commenter said to me almost word for word before publishing my real name. Very strange.

Really? Psycho said "you risk much"?

And then he put your real name on the Internet?

I think I may have gotten in way over my head.

I never asked for this!


Don't be such a little girl, farmer, and stop listening to the attention-whoring drama queen, Inga.

By parroting the nurse, the "much" you risk is your self respect.

God, the Left loves always to pretend they are life's victims fighting the man!

EMD said...

If no one has said it (didn't read all 231 comments.), let me be the first to say:

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!

bagoh20 said...

Geeze, Methadrass, or should I just call you warrior chief.

If little Inga scares you as much as Hitler, then I guess I understand you screaming like a little girl, but it's just a blog, people talking. You don't even show your face tough guy.

I think Neville could kick your ass. Inga too for that matter, warrior.

Nomennovum said...

Well, Inga has certainly gotten all she wanted. I have to give her credit: she knows how to manipulate men. What I find amazing and disturbing is that so many fall for it. That the shtick works on people like farmer doesn’t surprise me. That it works on grown-up conservative men is embarrassing.

The shtick is attack, fall back with some cutesy feint, attack harder, flirt with someone she finds malleable (some nice guy conservative), attack hard some more, cry victim when she’s hit hard, flirt with the nice guys and try to convert more to her side, and, after she had dropped the last of her steaming pile, pronounce the entire thread “toxic.” She is left to admire her work and observe the conservatives – the nice guys on one side and clear-eyed ones on the other – fight, with the white knights convinced someone else (not Inga!) started it.

As I said, nice work Inga. Even at your age, you are able to manipulate men.

To you men: Do you ever recognize when you’re being played?

chickelit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chickelit said...

Clucky Man

Inga said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Inga said...

Wow, just wow. I am the man manipulator extraordinaire! I didn't realize the power I wield. Damn I'm good, I should've done this man manipulating thing long ago. Who knew a 60 year old woman could still shake up big strong men so well?

Bagoh seems to be quite capable of knowing when he's being played. You sell him short. It's far more likely guys like him will get independent voters to consider conservative ideas, than angry hostile aggressive, bordering on abusive men, such as a couple of you. And what single woman wouldnt want to flirt with him, he's got those blue eyes....

I am a flirt, so damn what? I am a drama queen, so damn what? Are commenters here so fragile they can't deal with personalities unlike their own? Pathetic. Does it it give people license to be abusive? I am no ones victim, I will always fight back, bullies don't frighten me, they just piss me off.

I don't come here expecting to convince anyone to be a liberal, I come here to discuss topics with people who probably don't think like me, which makes it quite interesting.

If I am the queen bee, then so be it, I didn't appoint myself to that lofty position, but hey whatever, who better than me ? I can do the job! I can fill this hive with angry buzzing drones and workers. Bagoh, gets to be my consort.

Come now my little bees, give the queen her honey.

Althouse is the bee keeper, she's been stung by the little mean bastards lately, the hive mentality is in danger, the bees are angry.

The Farmer said...

Nomennovum said...

God, the Left loves always to pretend they are life's victims fighting the man!


1. I'm not on the Left.

2.I'm not fighting you, and I don't think you're much of a man.

The Farmer said...

Inga said...
Bagoh seems to be quite capable of knowing when he's being played. You sell him short.


Exactly. He might sleep on a waterbed in a houseboat, he might be the owner of the Regal Beagle and he definitely sports an upsetting moustache, but bagoh is not stupid.

chickelit said...

If I am the queen bee, then so be it,..Bagoh, gets to be my consort.

I am a Palindrone

Nomennovum said...

I don't think you're much of a man.

What you think, farmer, counts for very little.

Methadras said...

bagoh20 said...

Geeze, Methadrass, or should I just call you warrior chief.

If little Inga scares you as much as Hitler, then I guess I understand you screaming like a little girl, but it's just a blog, people talking. You don't even show your face tough guy.

I think Neville could kick your ass. Inga too for that matter, warrior.


Lol, whatever dude. She scares me about as much as you do, which is to say not at all. Have fun laying down your cape over the mud pile she walks on, you pathetic sap.

Alan said...

Can we all agree that the sperm donor racket is child abuse? Children (who are psychologically okay) naturally want to connect with their biological parents. And obviously, well-adjusted parents want to connect with their biological children. Creating a life with the expressed intent of keeping that life away from Mom and/or Dad is cruel and inhuman.

Trashhauler said...

After scanning this comment thread, I seriously need some therapy.

Trashhauler said...

After scanning this comment thread, I seriously need some therapy.

Shay said...

"Forget the importance of having a relationship with your natural mother and father."

Speak to anyone who works in foster care or the juvenile system. Having a relationship with his/her natural mother and father is sometimes the worst thing in the world for a child.

The judge ruled correctly.

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