January 11, 2013

"Alligator found guarding 34 pounds of pot in a Northern California home."

"[Sheriff's Sgt. J.D. ] Nelson said [Assif ] Mayar apparently acquired the alligator, named 'Mr. Teeth,' in 1996 to commemorate the death of rapper Tupac Shakur."

It all makes sense. If you had an alligator, you'd name it Mr. Teeth. If you had a big supply of marijuana and an alligator, you'd use the alligator to guard the marijuana. If you wanted to "commemorate the death" of Tupac Shakur, you'd acquire an alligator. I don't even know why banalities of this kind make it into the newspaper. You might say, well, maybe they had an exciting picture they wanted to scare us with. Actually, they have 2 pictures. I especially liked this one:

28 comments:

Revenant said...

34 pounds, eh? That's a lot of economic stimulus.

Synova said...

LOL, the picture is meant to scare you with the face of suburban banality and the unknown evils that may hide behind that facade.

Ann Althouse said...

Frankly, I feel protected knowing there are alligators like Mr. Teeth out there. Burglars will think twice. You see houses like that. They don't know where the alligators are. Mr. Teeth is protecting all of us.

Petunia said...

Poor Mr. Teeth. RIP.

edutcher said...

Reminiscent of the old Cosby routine, "Just to prove people are weird, I went out and bought a rhinoceros...

Does he bite?

No, but he'll ram the Hell out of you".

Synova said...

LOL, the picture is meant to scare you with the face of suburban banality and the unknown evils that may hide behind that facade.

As Holmes noted to Watson anent the English countryside.

campy said...

We need universal background checks on those attempting to purchase high-powered assault alligators.

ambienisevil said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

Did the alligator have a grungy hippie on his shirt?

Mary Beth said...

Petunia said...

Poor Mr. Teeth. RIP.

1/11/13 6:30 PM


He's not dead, he's only resting. They took him to the Oakland Zoo.

Synova said...

"Frankly, I feel protected knowing there are alligators like Mr. Teeth out there. Burglars will think twice. You see houses like that. They don't know where the alligators are. Mr. Teeth is protecting all of us."

I was already done drinking my soda or it would have gone out my nose.

mccullough said...

I got a crocodile to commemorate the assassination of the Notorious B.I.G.

Amartel said...

Actually, Mr. Teeth is now deceased. They took him to the zoo vet and tried to revive him. Did Mr. Teeth OD? (Or was he underfed and kept in cruel conditions?) Likely the latter.

YoungHegelian said...

Considering that the croc in the picture, which the heading says is Monsieur Le Croc himself, lives indoors in No. Cal. & still has green teeth & a visible lesion on the top left of his mouth, I can well believe that he was one sick reptilian puppy.

They oughtta charge the guy with animal cruelty as well as possession.

wyo sis said...

Wasn't there an incident like this in a Stephanie Plum novel.?

Sam L. said...

"It all makes sense. If you had an alligator, you'd name it Mr. Teeth. If you had a big supply of marijuana and an alligator, you'd use the alligator to guard the marijuana. If you wanted to "commemorate the death" of Tupac Shakur, you'd acquire an alligator." And marijuana!

Sam L. said...

Mr. Teeth is "pinin' for the fjords".

Ernst Stavro Blofeld said...

If you had an alligator, you'd name it Mr. Teeth.

You'd name it Elvis, like in Miami Vice.

http://miamivice.wikia.com/wiki/Elvis

Ernst Stavro Blofeld said...

If you had an alligator, you'd name it Mr. Teeth.

You'd name it Elvis, like in Miami Vice.

http://miamivice.wikia.com/wiki/Elvis

Lem said...

Frankly, I feel protected knowing there are alligators like Mr. Teeth out there. Burglars will think twice. You see houses like that. They don't know where the alligators are. Mr. Teeth is protecting all of us.

Do alligators really need all those teeths?

Synova said...

"Wasn't there an incident like this in a Stephanie Plum novel.?"

I quit reading after about number 14 but it certainly *fits*. :)

Revenant said...

You're a Stephanie Plum fan, Synova? I love those books.

Although I think I'm behind a few at this point; they do go downhill after a while. :)

Freeman Hunt said...

Stephanie Plum

Hey, I read two of those twelve years ago while visiting someone who was a big fan of those books. I don't remember anything about them except that they were funny.

Synova said...

Stephanie Plum was fun but yes, they do get a little bit old after a while because 14 books later you'd think she'd work it out with Morelli.

Actually, I'm a bit of a prude. I didn't like it when she actually slept with, um, the other guy. And I can not believe I don't remember his name.

BTW... how many of you have been thinking about Stephanie Plum ever since the priest in the handcuffs post?

wyo sis said...

Ranger

Synova said...

Ranger!

Doh!

RigelDog said...

Yes, the photo of the garage does look like an alligator!

RigelDog said...

Yes, the photo of the garage does look like an alligator!

sabeth.chu said...

animal abuse.
crocs don't have a lobby