January 17, 2013

Is this Mariah-Nicki thing going to work?

Is anyone watching?

We watched the first hour last night (with the rest saved on DVR), and, well, it seems the problem is that Nicki Manaj came to play. She's prepared. She's like the Tracy Flick of "American Idol." She's studied, and she's ready. If this reality show were "Survivor," she's be voted off immediately, because she wants it so bad. Meanwhile, Mariah Carey obviously believed she could simply swan in and be Mariah. That's enough in itself. How awful to have to be one of 2 women, when the other woman wants it so bad. It's like the wife and the mistress.

But there isn't even a husband. Unless America is the husband. But America, in "American Idol," is a whole lot of young girls. And what do they care about a wife and a mistress clawing it out? Poor Mariah! Don't tell me Keith Urban/Randy Jackson count as the husband who will step up — in this exaggerated TV sitcom — and choose the right woman, the true sweetheart, the wife, Mariah. These men are oblivious to the psychodrama. They're floating along aimlessly as if the only thing really happening is a talent show, where various young people try to sing as well as they can, and modestly knowledgeable judges give honest assessments.

Oh! My heart breaks for Mariah. But I must say, Nicki has won it all. She came to win and she crushed the competition in the first hour. Congratulations! But... is anyone watching?

35 comments:

Lauderdale Vet said...

We really enjoyed the last 2 years but aren't interested at all this year, mostly because we don't want to watch either Nicki or Mariah.

Oh well.

Ralph L said...

And they call the wind, Mariah!

ndspinelli said...

Baron Zemo watches this horseshit, maybe he'll share his wisdom.

Ann Althouse said...

"Baron Zemo watches this horseshit, maybe he'll share his wisdom."

Eh. You take a blog private and it drops off the face of the earth. Too bad. It's like all the burned manuscripts never published. You either play or you don't. Ask darling Nicki.

rhhardin said...

Nobody will match Natalie Tran as judge.

Palladian said...

Ask darling Nicki.

Nothing compares 2U, Althouse.

Lauderdale Vet said...

Judges: Lady Gaga, David Lee Roth, Tim McGraw. That would be a great season to watch, no?

Sam L. said...

If I knew who those people were, or watched the show....

Nope. No Way. Not going there. Wouldn't be prudent.

Will Cate said...

This is why if Ryan Seacrest ever left the show, it would completely fall apart.

Lauderdale Vet said...

Here's another possible group of judges: Queen Latifah, Jimmy Buffet, Gwen Stefani.

I'd watch that season.

Steve Koch said...

Don't watch any of those shows at all. Since cable provides descriptions of shows without actually having to switch to that channel, I don't even see glimpses of the show.

I guess all this channel switching activity is recorded in the cable box so I bet it is possible to construct a psychological profile of people based on the recorded history stored in their cable box. That could be cross checked with the psychological profiles constructed from your google search history and your credit card activity and your online comments.

Minority Report, here we come (except politicized by the dems to extract max political advantage, natch).

SteveR said...

Since the last five years have turned completely to young girls voting for "cute" boys, its not watchable.

Baron Zemo said...

Nicki Minaj is a worthless piece of shit who spent a whole Grammy performance mocking the Catholic Church with sexual scenes of altar boys and the Pope in the most hateful and bigoted manner. I know it is impossible for black people to be prejudiced and all but she obviously hates Catholics.

It would be like Cedarford judging the Hava Nigila sing off!

I was once one of the biggest American Idol fans going but I will never watch it again.

I hope you will do the same.

Baron Zemo said...

They are also hemoraging ratings.

These judges will destroy the franchise.

Who the fuck picked them...Rex Ryan?

Amy said...

We watched it last night and I was beyond horrified. Nicki was practically unwatchable and Mariah seemed on the cusp of insanity. The fake British accents had me reaching for the mute button and the catfight bickering did as well. If they do not resolve this FAST, we will abandon the season, and we watch this every year (till now). Also, I noticed MUCH LESS singing and more overwrought production work. That whole dream sequence of the boy thinking the judges loved his voice was painful.
The whole show was painful actually.

Penny said...

If I were Simon Cowell, I'd buy up a whole helluva lot of ad space during the current idol. Doesn't even matter what he'd be hawking. Would be just enough to see his smirking face as the Idol anti-adman.

ndspinelli said...

To each their own, Althouse. A private blog has its advantages.

Steve Koch said...

I might watch a show judged by Hugo Chavez, kind of a combination of Venezuelan Idol and Weekend at Bernies.

wyo sis said...

Dream sequence?
I might have to watch this thing after all.

Baron Zemo said...

Hey not everybody worships Narcissus.

Some of us prefer Bacchus.

WestVirginiaRebel said...

It's kind of scary to think that Mariah Carey might actually be the mature one of that group...

tiger said...

I am in a state of awe and amazement that people waster their lives watching this crap.

Amartel said...

Yeah, dawg, ya know, I'm just not feelin' it. I don't know what this show wants to say, what it is, what it stands for. It has chosen the wrong music and outfits and is fat. You'll never make it in this business with the wrong song and styling selections. Also, fat bad. Unless you're a judge. In which case, have a giant Coca Cola in a product placement cup.

EMD said...

They desperately need a comedian on the panel.

Inga said...

Good thing I don't need to bother stop watching, as I never started.

Baron Zemo said...

Not only is Mariah the most mature person on the panel but she even smells the best.

NOW THAT'S CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

master cylinder said...

So agree. Mariah isnt as prepped. Also, she keeps looking at Nicki, whereas Nicki is not giving Mariah any looks at all.

Methadras said...

I stopped watching after Carrie Underwood won. Everything else after that was just utter crap and everyone was unremarkable and haven't done a damn thing. The only reason I even bother to watch this season of Idol sporadically is to see how Nikki and Mariah display their boobs.

bgates said...

Unless America is the husband. But America, in "American Idol," is a whole lot of young girls.

Are you suggesting there can't be a marriage between a lot of young girls and a couple of female celebrities on tv?

And you, a law professor.

Elle said...

The 10yro loved it last year - watching Phillip Phillips and cheering him on. Even became a big fan of Aerosmith's tamer stuff.

Last night, he learned the definition of "jump the shark."

Poor Keith. We're done.

whoresoftheinternet said...

Fat, slutty, crazy Negress bitch with great voice versus blaspheming, trashy, Madonna-worshiping, clown-clothes wearing, pretending-she's-hard-and-tough nigger with mediocre singing skills.

Sounds like a ratings winner! Coming up next after "All My Babies Mommas!"

Wait, they cancelled that shit? Man, the left really don't want ANY truth to contradict their precious world views.

Enjoy the decline, Big Brother lovers!

Lem said...

But... is anyone watching?

If not under some compelling penalty, I would have to be compensated to get me to watch.

MadisonMan said...

I have to say tonight's show was far better than last night's. No silly Turbanator, or the fantasy sequence with the guy who thought he knew AI trivia. Just some nice stories and singers who, with a bit of training/cajoling, could be very very good.

The last singer was a bit manipulative, but for the most part they only showed good singers tonight, and that's when Idol shines. I did feel badly for the twin who's the musical theater major in the Twin Cities and she can't sing worth a damn. No one has the balls to tell her that she's barking up the wrong tree. Waste of money!

But yes: Complete agreement on the phony Brit accents. Lose them please.

MadisonMan said...

..and let me add that I'm also tired of the ads for the new Kevin Bacon "thriller" about the serial killer.

Just what America needs: another blood-soaked FBI/police themed TV series. Pass.

Strelnikov said...

I accidently saw a vid of Minaj from the back walking in a leotard. It's not that she's big. It's the shape. Rhino haunch. Some things cannot be unseen.