January 12, 2013

"Study says homeless facilities may increase the value of nearby property."

May... meaning it probably increases the value of the property over there where we'd like to site the facility but not over here where I live.
The study, released in 2008, compared home sale prices before and after the development of Project H.O.M.E. housing facilities and controlled for many other factors that could affect home values, said [Kevin] Gillen, an economist and senior research consultant at the Fels Institute of Government at the University of Pennsylvania....

"These properties were overwhelmingly in distressed neighborhoods. If you were to do the same thing in affluent neighborhoods, it may not bring the same result. But given the choice living next door to a well-maintained homeless facility and a vacant abandoned building, you’ll take the homeless facility," he said.

146 comments:

The Drill SGT said...

Not in my limited experience

cubanbob said...

It should be a requirement that public housing should always be located where its proponents live.

Mogget said...

What's really out there is that it will benefit the politician and his connections in the construction and property management areas. Local residents are a tertiary concern and can be ignored.

Mitchell the Bat said...

Anybody living in a homeless facility isn't homeless, by definition, so they shouldn't be living there.

Richard Dolan said...

Why does anyone need a study to figure out that real estate values are a function of location? When I bought a place in SoHo in 1976, the neighborhood improved a lot when a gas station opened on the corner of Lafayette and Houston. The 24-hour activity scared the muggers and deadbeats away from the subway exit on that corner. But no one would think that a gas station at Park and 74th St would have the same impact. Same is true of any development.

Funny that so many studies are devoted to proving that circles are round.

wyo sis said...

Jake Diamond is an idiot.
There, that's a preemptive strike, just to save time.

edutcher said...

Good one!

And the litmus test will be if Teddy allows one to be built near the cawmpound at Hyannispawt.

Wayworn Wanderer said...

What cubanbob said.

betamax3000 said...

Real Estate simplified, when concerning homeless shelters, halfway houses, etc etc:

If you wouldn't feel comfortable putting it next to an elementary school what makes you think I want it on my street?

But I'm open-minded; a school for wayward young women might be perfectly acceptable.

Dusty said...

"'But given the choice living next door to a well-maintained homeless facility and a vacant abandoned building, you’ll take the homeless facility,' he said."

How about,

- given the choice of living next to a temporarily vacant building and a homeless facility, which would you choose?

- given the choice of living next door to a well-maintained vacant building and a homeless facility, which would you choose?

By the way, note the continued emphasis placed on housing and sometimes shelter, while the original description is day shelter and and transitional shelter. So what is the primary function of this property? Is it going to function like some synthesis of an apartment complex and motel, or will it function as a synthesis of restaurant, government entitlement application processing center and public hangout?

The former I have seen are okay, the latter are disasters.

betamax3000 said...

Cheerleader Camp would also be fine. Might be a bit noisy at times, but perhaps the 'rah-rah' spirit and pep might put an invigorating bounce into the day.

betamax3000 said...

Plus the cheerleaders would inevitably have their car-wash fundraisers, so it will be very easy to keep the car shiny.

betamax3000 said...

One could even provide tutoring on a case-by-case basis. Education is important to a cheery life.

Steve Austin said...

Do we need to do things to help the homeless and mentally ill? Yes.

Do we need to always screw things up for the majority in order to cater to a "problem in society" and to "be fair"? No.

Government and our well meaning lefty friends insist we always cater to the ones causing the problems and in the process it brings everyone down to that level.

Joe said...

These properties were overwhelmingly in distressed neighborhoods

Bringing in organization and authority to such a neighborhood, along with an inevitable, even if small, police presence will, of course, increase property values.

betamax3000 said...

Cheerleaders on Neighborhood Watch patrol: I feel safer already.

betamax3000 said...

Hell, you could even drive a few cheerleaders to school while on the way to work. Two in the back, one shotgun, pom-poms in the trunk. Carpool lane. Everyone wins, including the environment.

betamax3000 said...

I bet you could even get away with speeding. What police officer is going to ticket a car full of cheerleaders on their way to school?

cubanbob said...

If you wouldn't feel comfortable putting it next to an elementary school what makes you think I want it on my street?

Well said. And always locate them in a gun free zone. For the sake of the children. And always locate them in the most affluent and bluest of neighborhoods. The poor will have a chance to absorb all that goodness by osmosis. What could go wrong?

Pogo said...

Study says: Eat your broccoli, damnit.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Well, it certainly improves the image of a place to have the homeless inside a shelter than for them to be sleeping in carboard boxes on the street outside.

You really don't know much about the world around you, do you?

Where do you think the word "civilization" comes from?

Very disappointing.

Michael K said...

You could have the choice of living next to a garbage dump or a golf course.

Then here is the possibility of a golf course on top of a garbage dump.

These people seem to have trouble understanding why locations are desirable.

A homeless shelter takes people off the street but then it attracts drug dealers and crooks. If you doubt that, I can show you a couple of examples in Los Angeles.

Michael K said...

You could have the choice of living next to a garbage dump or a golf course.

Then here is the possibility of a golf course on top of a garbage dump.

These people seem to have trouble understanding why locations are desirable.

A homeless shelter takes people off the street but then it attracts drug dealers and crooks. If you doubt that, I can show you a couple of examples in Los Angeles.

Chip S. said...

I don't know what would happen to this place if anyone ever felt compelled to read the link before offering the sage commentary found here.

Probably turn into a snoozefest like Volokh.

betamax3000 said...

Per the earlier Fitzgerald thread quote: the homeless should have a place with warmth and security so that they, too, can ""gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder" with some privacy. Rather than in the alley.

betamax3000 said...

Speaking of "gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder" -- did I mention Cheerleader Camp? I think I did.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Humanity will be the death of us all... Or so claim the selfish and proudly ignorant hoarding 'fraidy cats.

Thanks for the Fitzgerald quote, Beta. And for the alternative interpretation.

ricpic said...

May. Or may not. Don't listen to your self, listen to the Ivy League socialist. Because as we all know the higher consciousness beats experience every time.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

In ricpic's experience, it is better to be the earthworm than to be the eagle. One must abase one's consciousness! Dare not elevate it! Abase it!

betamax3000 said...

In addition to car washes the cheerleaders of Cheerleader Camp could have a Homeless Laundry Day, where they spend eight hours at the local Laundomat washing the clothes of the less fortunate. Community service.

Plus: cheerleaders in yellow latex gloves. There's that.

AJ Lynch said...

From the UPenn website, Prof. Gillen appears to have spent most of his carreer involved in govt programs so it is not shocking that he finds value in this study.

AllenS said...

From the article:

These properties were overwhelmingly in distressed neighborhoods. If you were to do the same thing in affluent neighborhoods, it may not bring the same result.

Place one of these facilities in any middle class neighborhood and their property will be worth less. No sense in talking about an affluent neighborhood, because that ain't going to happen.

betamax3000 said...

With Cheerleader Camp next door it shouldn't be difficult to find a baby-sitter. I don't have children but I could support the local economy.

AllenS said...

Tell us about your neighborhood, Ritmo. Do you own a house?

betamax3000 said...

If you ever needed a glitter pen there are cheerleaders next door; shouldn't be a problem. It could be fun writing out the month's bills in glitter pen -- almost festive.

betamax3000 said...

Perhaps the cheerleaders could mow the lawns of the elderly in the neighborhood. Sometimes a lawn sprinkler would go off accidentally, but they would just giggle and run through the spray, full of the wonders of a joyous day.

ricpic said...

Speaking of elevated consciousness, Montana Urban Schmendrick, did you take me up on my dare to walk across Harlem at night without protection, or did you lack the guts to walk the walk, you worthless hypocrite turd from hell?

betamax3000 said...

Re: "worthless hypocrite turd from hell"

I thought this comment was meant for the alternative-names-for-the-Washington-football-team thread.

It would work.

betamax3000 said...

The cheerleaders could also help out around the neighborhood. Need a ceiling light bulb replaced? Just provide them a step-stool. Or perhaps they could make a pyramid and clean out rain gutters.

betamax3000 said...

In community spirit you could buy a half-dozen French Maid outfits. Then, when Halloween arrives, you can be the hero to the rescue.

betamax3000 said...

You could even have a Bad Boyfriend Slumber Party. All the cheerleaders would laze about in the living room in their pajamas and tell stories of how bad their boyfriends are. You can listen sympathetically, you are a sympathetic person, living next door.

betamax3000 said...

You could explain how young boys are careless with a woman's feelings, that at their age you need to expect that. They don't have the wisdom and understanding of a mature man. A mature man would know how to attend to their emotional needs.

William said...

If the cheerleaders become crack whores, their lifetime earnings would grow exponentially. Win win for everybody.

betamax3000 said...

It just isn't right, how cheerleaders are treated, like they are some kind of object.

SGT Ted said...

The 'hoods gotta be pretty crappy for a homeless facility to raise the property values.

O Ritmo Segundo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
betamax3000 said...

Being a cheerleader can be strenuous; all that stress taking its toll, building up in the shoulders and thighs. But does anyone offer to help, say with a back rub or a light massage? No, no they don't. People can be so uncaring.

O Ritmo Segundo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
O Ritmo Segundo said...

My neighborhood is better populated, has many more cultural amenities, tourist attractions and historical significance to the United States than yours does, Allen. And, I would gladly bet, much higher property values. Farming is great stuff. But civilization didn't come until the cities sprang up as well.

There aren't many detached single-unit dwellings where I live, but a lot of townhouses. Ever hear of them? Or would having to rub elbows with so many others so close by infringe on your right to feel paranoid and anti-social?

SGT Ted said...

ya because everybody knows that where you live determines your worth.

AllenS said...

I didn't always live here, Ritmo, and I can assure you that places that I used to live at were not anything like cultural amenities, tourist attractions and none had historical significance. A lot of people from the old neighborhood (St. Paul, MN), or hood if you like, have always emjoyed coming out here.

Having been a US Army paratrooper exposed me to a lot of people you'll never meet in life. They are still my friends. They all have hard elbows.

betamax3000 said...

Perhaps one could show them proper stretching techniques, to loosen the hamstrings, say.

betamax3000 said...

The importance of fabric softener: there are so many things one can discuss, on a human level.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

I like being out in the open. Big skies like in Montana. It's all good. There are some isolated pricks in the country and some just as sheltered elitists in the city. Whichever place you live in can have a way of bringing out the most extreme characters, just in different ways.

AllenS said...

Well, if you consider me to be some extreme character, so be it. One thing that I'm not, is a cultural snob. We're all different. You should get used to it. This country is a lot bigger and more diverse than your small world.

betamax3000 said...

One could help enhance a cheerleader's sense of spirituality: every time a cheerleader prays an angel's wings get bigger.

betamax3000 said...

Of course, there is a sense of responsibility one must have when living next door to Cheerleader Camp. One will have to explain to them that there are bad men in the world, bad men. Men who would try to take advantage of an unsuspecting cheerleader. It is important for them to know there is a safe haven, right next door.

betamax3000 said...

A safe haven with lots of ice cream in the fridge.

betamax3000 said...

And cookies.

betamax3000 said...

Its OK to have a cookie and some ice cream now and then. A few vigorous jumping jacks and you won't gain any weight, do not fret.

betamax3000 said...

And remember: you will not be this young forever, but how you are now will be in one's memory for a long, long time.

betamax3000 said...

And the internet: one must teach them of the perils of the internet.

That sassy picture you took of yourself in the mirror -- you know the one -- you should not send it out cavalierly, you will never know where it could end up.

If you have any doubt whatsoever have a trusted confidant -- a neighbor, say -- look at it first. You can even email it to him and he'll let you know whether you should think better of it. As a friend.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Lols at railing against cultural snobbery under the guise of promoting "diversity".

Glad you recognize the world's a big place, Allen. But culture's an important part of it. Not all who recognize and embrace its importance are snobs. Culture is everything from the language we speak, the history we inherit and the daily interactions we appreciate. Suffice it to say, the likes of Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton don't have much use for any of that. But neither does Sarah Palin, I'm sorry to say - even if understands the importance of pretending to do so.

betamax3000 said...

Sometimes the other cheerleaders might get jealous of your maturity. They will say things to try to bring you down, to keep you away from your true friends and neighbors.

They will try to make it sound like advice, or even a warning. They might say "be careful around him," but what they really mean is for you to stay away so that they can take your place as the Special Neighbor. Don't fall for it, it's how the other cheerleaders sometimes are, they are not as mature as you and it makes them sad. Sad and lonely. But you, you have no need to be sad and lonely, you have a Friend to rely on.

betamax3000 said...

Think of it as being pen pals with someone in prison, without the nasty prison things. It feels good to do good.

betamax3000 said...

Sometimes the other cheerleaders will try to make themselves feel better by making you feel less pretty, when YOU are the prettiest one, the very very prettiest.

Heck, you should quietly take some photos of them when they aren't so pretty -- like when they have no make-up and their hair is in a pony-tail and they are all sweaty from exercising. Then we can look at the photographs together, and laugh and laugh.

betamax3000 said...

You've been seeming quiet lately; you don't seem to stop by as often. When you wave it seems... hurried. Is everything all right? I hope everything is all right: I care.

betamax3000 said...

It's your cheerleader friends, right? Are they trying to mess with you, make you doubt yourself? What are they saying about me?

betamax3000 said...

You know how they lie. They lie because they feel bad about themselves and their disappointing high-school lives. They don't know about the big world out there, not like you do. You have dreams.

betamax3000 said...

Sometimes you need a Special Friend to help you reach your dreams. Don't be afraid of help when reaching for your dreams. Some dreams can only be understood, together.

betamax3000 said...

I'm beginning to worry about you -- your phone keeps going to voice-mail. Please call me and let me know you are all right.

betamax3000 said...

Remember when one of your cheerleader friends said you were putting on a little weight? Remember how we worked through your anger? Sure, there were tears, but it's all right: we made it through that, stronger than ever. Stay strong.

betamax3000 said...

I think I get it. I know your parents are coming to town and you're pre-occupied, and don't have time to answer your phone, or even text.

I would suggest you keep things quiet for now. It's not unusual for a mother to feel jealous of her daughter's beauty and youth: it's understandable. You do not need to make her feel bad, to realize her dreams have passed her by while yours are right in front of you. I understand.

betamax3000 said...

And your father: you will always be his little girl, even now that you are a woman. A woman capable of making her own decisions, of living her own life.

It's best not to even get into it.

betamax3000 said...

I have a plan. While your parents are there why don't you call me "Brad" when on the phone. You can just pretend I'm a high school friend that you study with. Sometimes you need to take a break to go study.

betamax3000 said...

Brad can't come by to visit your parents because he lives all the way on the other side of town, and he doesn't drive. His mother used to drive him over but she got a DUI a few weeks back, a friend had died. She's going through a rough time so Brad is spending a lot of time with her, he doesn't really have the time to get away right now.

betamax3000 said...

Yes, Brad is that kind of guy: family and friends are important to him.

betamax3000 said...

I know your parents are there, but can you call me? I'd love to hear your voice.

betamax3000 said...

I was watching you from the upstairs window when you got back to camp with your parents. I hope you went somewhere nice with them. Your hair looked so pretty.

betamax3000 said...

I miss talking with you. WE shared so many wonderful times, it would be wonderful to talk about some of them, together. Call me when you can.

betamax3000 said...

Remember when you played me some of the music on your phone, and I played you some Al Green and Barry White. You laughed 'cause it was on vinyl: you said you didn't know how people had to deal with records just to hear a song.

betamax3000 said...

Ha! That was funny! Good times, right? And remember Steely Dan? You thought it was too jazzy and old-people music, but then you liked the "they call Alabama the Crimson Tide" part because you had a friend who was going to go to college in Alabama.

betamax3000 said...

Wouldn't it be funny if we both made that our ring-tone? People would ask what that music was and we could just smile.

betamax3000 said...

You really should call: I went ahead and made it my ring-tone. For real.

Inga said...

Betamax,

What's your cheerleader's name, Buffy?

betamax3000 said...

OK, wow. THAT was weird. The police came by, knocked on my door. They said someone had made a complaint about seeing -- get this -- a man masturbating in front of my upstairs window, no curtains or anything, just - there, doing that thing.

Its silly how people can make things up and then the police can still come and harass you. I told them someone was mistaken, it had to be another house or something. I mean, do I look like the kinda' guy who would just stand in front of an open window and masturbate? C'mon.

I could really use talking to a special friend right now.

betamax3000 said...

Maybe you ran out of minutes. If that's the case don't be ashamed -- I can give you some money for your phone.

betamax3000 said...

If you knew how it important it was to me, I know you would call. We know each other.

betamax3000 said...

I know. You feel embarrassed because so much time has passed since we last really talked. Don't worry, I understand: it's been hectic for me, too. I've had to work some odd hours and then that thing with the police, it's been crazy.

betamax3000 said...

I'm just curious: did you say something to somebody about us? Maybe your parents? If you did, it's OK, I understand: nothing to get all worked up about.

I'm sure you didn't tell them too many things, you are a discreet woman, I've always liked that about you.

betamax3000 said...

It just keeps getting weirder, you know? I cut my hand on some glass -- someone broke a bottle in my driveway -- and then the police were here again. They kept looking at my bandage, and I wanted to say to them "I cut it on a broken bottle -- if you want to see it it's in the trash, take a look for yourself". Just because of a prior misunderstanding it seems they feel they have the right to harass me.

betamax3000 said...

I know what it is. Someone told you I had been in prison once, right?

I can explain: it was totally a misunderstanding, really.

Look, I'd much rather be able to explain it to you in person. If I could explain it to you I know you'll understand.

betamax3000 said...

Her parents didn't like the idea of us being together, so her dad pulled some strings and the next thing you know I'm being sent to prison. It's sad how someone can abuse the law, just like that.

betamax3000 said...

I never laid a finger on her, that is an out-and-out lie. You know I could never do such a thing: you know me, right?

AlanKH said...

"Study says homeless facilities may increase the value of nearby property."

Is that because nearby property owners install moats and high fences?

betamax3000 said...

This would be a lot easier to talk about if you would return my calls. I see you next door in the window sometimes, I know you could call.

betamax3000 said...

Look, I'm going to be going out of town for a while: I got a job offer out-of-state and I'm thinking I'm going to take it. Get some fresh air, get away from some of the crap that seems to be going on around here. Any chance we could get together before I go? I'd really love to see you, to say goodbye in person.

You are important to me.

betamax3000 said...

Maybe I'll give you a call once I'm all settled in.

betamax3000 said...

Hey -- if nothing else, think of me maybe if you hear any Steely Dan. I'd like that.

betamax3000 said...

Good-bye, for now...

betamax3000 said...

(By the way, the preceding was a production of "Althouse Antfarm Theater" -- enjoy the popcorn)

cubanbob said...

My neighborhood is better populated, has many more cultural amenities, tourist attractions and historical significance to the United States than yours does, Allen. And, I would gladly bet, much higher property values. Farming is great stuff. But civilization didn't come until the cities sprang up as well.

Gee Ritmo your neighborhood sounds like a fab place to put a homeless shelter in.

Michael said...

Ritmo. I think your answer to Allen S is "no."

O Ritmo Segundo said...

It's obvious that you do yourself serious damage when you try to think, Michael. Your poor little head can't take it.

Michael said...

Ritmo. No, you do not own a home, a town home, a flat, an apartment, a duplex, a triplex, a condo or a co op.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Can I not even have a plantation, either, Michael - like the one you live in?

You know, it's funny. I took a shit today, and it looked just like Michael.

How do you keep ending up in my shit like that, Michael?

Tell me once again how my utilities are provided. That was hilarious.

Michael said...

Ritmo. AllenS asked a plain question which you evaded in a snotty way. A healthy person would answer that, no, they did not own a home, they rented. But got below market certified green solar power in the bargain.

Michael said...

Ritmo. One does not live IN a plantation but rather ON a plantation. The house is situated ON the plantation.

betamax3000 said...

Re: Inga - "What's your cheerleader's name, Buffy?"

The Cheerleaders in Cheerleader Camp do NOT have names: it ruins the illusion. They are the Everyone who wears short skirts as part of a Greater Good.

I would've replied earlier but I was in the zone.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

Thank you for providing your expertise on plantations. I saw the typo as soon as it was posted and figured that it was innocent enough to avoid your snotty condescension. But I guess you didn't have anything better to do.

Plantation owners are like that.

Anyway, I pointed out a typo of yours in another, more recent thread. But it was funny. You said "hores" instead of "hires".

My power is wind and hydro-based. But since you don't care for honesty, I'm not sure why I'd bother to point that out to you. Other than the fact that I think honesty is important whereas you just prefer to make personal attacks, any honesty they might or might not contain be damned. Which makes any true answer to anything you ask not worth it.

And no, they don't care when you sign up what the type of residence is. Whichever redneck state you live in might do well to deregulate their utilities as well. Then you might not react with so much rage to what happens to be a basic and common condition of utility provision in the Northeast.

betamax3000 said...

There is the Prettiest Cheerleader, the Smart Cheerleader, the Athletic Cheerleader and the Sensitive Cheerleader.

Charlie's Angels left out the metaphorical Sensitive Cheerleader.

betamax3000 said...

The Cheerleaders are a repository for society's dissonant feelings on sexuality, youth, education and the implied need for enforced high spirit.

I used 'repository', not 'receptacle' to avoid unflattering allusions that would derail the good nature of this conversation.

Michael said...

Ritmo. The goodness of the northeast is always noted and respected. I have resided in Manhattan but am now just a frequent visitor and maintain a high regard for its cultural and other offerings and its citizens who I have always found to be helpful and courteous quite unlike the reputation held by many. I gather you are not a native.

betamax3000 said...

In the 90s the Spice Girls purposefully co-opted the "Prettiest Cheerleader, the Smart Cheerleader, the Athletic Cheerleader and the Sensitive Cheerleader" dynamic, but added Scary Spice to the mix. I believe it was a misstep: the four archetypal cheerleaders are -- symbolically -- enough.

betamax3000 said...

Britney Spears, on the other hand, tried to encapsulate all four archetypes into a single persona, and look at what the resulting stress did to her.

betamax3000 said...

Four is Four for a reason, after all.

betamax3000 said...

Nirvana commented on this Cheerleader Archetypes confusion and dissonance by having all the cheerleaders in the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video be anarchist strippers with pom poms. It worked on many levels.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

You gather correctly. But having been up here for nearly ten years, the phase of my life not spent up here continues to shrink. I'm two hours from the city you mention but there are still commonalities to my city and even subtleties from borough to borough. I remember hearing a lady blog about how she could accurately replicate the accent of borough perfectly. I'll link to it if I can find it, if you're interested.

As with, I'm sure, many places in the U.S., there are many refugees from the Midwest in New York. So it's interesting to note that Althouse migrated in a reverse pattern, from this region to Madison.

Madison's a nice town, though. The campus and lakes there are very pleasant. As is the respect for beer and overall friendliness as well.

But it's been twelve years since I was there last, unfortunately.

Are you in Atlanta or a different part of the South or Georgia?

betamax3000 said...

One could argue that the Cheerleader is forced into a subservient, nurturing role. However, that would negate the empowerment they rightly feel by providing the Male Athlete the inspiration to give it his all.

Without the Cheerleader would the extra point have made it through the uprights, rather than trailing left?

Would the free-throw have bounced flaccidly off the rim without their positive mental reinforcement?

betamax3000 said...

There are few things sadder than a team giving their all in front of a cheerleader whose heart is not in it.

Michael said...

Ritmo. I live in the heart of Atlanta most of the time. Not a suburban sort. Either the center of town or far out in the country on what was once a "plantation" and is now a farm.

betamax3000 said...

She must put her parents, her siblings, her boyfriend, her teachers completely out of her mind: for the time of the game it is only The Team.

betamax3000 said...

This is her calling: she is both the chooser and the chosen.

O Ritmo Segundo said...

I'm the same way. City or country or nothing.

Spent a bit of time in Atlanta last year. Nice town.

Here's the lady doing the five borough accents.

betamax3000 said...

Q: what would a Cheerleader do with a trillion dollar coin?

A: they would use it to Inspire.

betamax3000 said...

There needs to be serious discussion of the Sociological Understanding of the Cheerleader's Kinesiology in Internet Thematics (SUCK IT, for short).

Althouse should do a thread on it. It would be edifying.

betamax3000 said...

What if we all had access to the Cheerleader's Special Magic in our daily world?

Say you start your workday at your local coffee house and -- instead of a barista -- you are served by a Cheerleader barista?

"Here's your iced latte, sir,"

and then

"Betamax, Betamax Go-Go-Go!
Make your business Grow-Grow-Grow!!!
Goooooo BETAMAX!!!!"

I think I'd be at the start of a pretty good day.

betamax3000 said...

One tries to make a Coach happy, but one wants to makes a Cheerleader PROUD.

Inga said...

Behind every good man, there's a cheerleader.

Inga said...

What does the man do to make the cheerleader proud I wonder?

Inga said...

He must be in the zone again, heh.

betamax3000 said...

What is a Prosecuting Attorney if not a Cheerleader for Justice? And if a female attorney should so choose to wear a cheerleading outfit while conducting a case why should it be held in contempt?

Picture the cheerleading attorney sitting at her desk in court, focused, driven, gently biting on the end of her pen: is this not America?

betamax3000 said...

Re; Inga "What does the man do to make the cheerleader proud I wonder?"

He does his absolute best to exemplify her faith and support.

Teams win and teams lose, but the cheerleader, she cheers, regardless. She knows there will be another game, and each game represents Hope.

God Bless America.

betamax3000 said...

Since this thread started with homeless housing and cheerleading camps it would be obvious to bring the two together: the Cheerleaders could provide Community Service at the shelters one day a week.

"Homeless friend, you don't have to drink,
pour your Mad Dog down the kitchen sink!"

wildswan said...

Reading this thread was like being in an elevator with a drunk (a fun drunk, Betamax) and two quarreling neighbors. Well, I like not knowing what's coming next.
I was reading a sad, sad story about 2,000 people in Leeds who were swept into a mental colony called Meanwood in the Twenties. One man named Samuel Wormald swept these 2000 people away from life and many never saw freedom again until the early seventies. True story. What we have now - homeless shelters dumping mentally ill people onto the streets - is a reaction against that kind of abuse of power but I don't know why we can't use some common sense when we respond to abuses.

betamax3000 said...

"Today, today is
today is shower day
S-H-O-W-E-R- SHOWER DAY!
Wash your feet and wash your ears
The day goes best when you don't smell like a rear
End the poor hygiene
Start the day Fresh
clean between your toes
and be a good guest!
The potted plants in the lobby
are not for your poop,
and at noon today will be
free soup.
F-r-E-E FREE SOUP!!!
F-r-E-E FREE SOUP!!!

betamax3000 said...

Being drunk with a Cheerleader can be a great thing, even outside of an elevator. After a night at the bar, the Cheerleader cheering me on against sobriety, I just know that I'll win. Take THAT, sobriety!

betamax3000 said...

And when I step out of the bar, I know -- with the cheerleader's spirited help and my help from the cheery spirits -- I can stand directly in the path of an oncoming car and get it to stop with a cheer-induced force-field of charisma and optimism!

betamax3000 said...

The Chines don't have cheerleaders. This is the problem with Communism.

betamax3000 said...

I wouldn't mind going to the dentist if the dental hygienist wore a cheerleading skirt while cleaning my teeth.

"Floss, floss, every day
and gingivitis will go away!"

Scrape-scrape, scrapeity-scrape on the molars: we are on the same team!

betamax3000 said...

I bet if Meade wore a cheerleading outfit and rooted Ann on while she graded papers the test scores of her students would go up. Yep.

betamax3000 said...

Business opportunity: Hire-A-Cheer! Buy into the franchise that puts a cheerleader at your side on an hourly basis!

IRS audit? With a Hire-a-Cheer Cheerleader at your side things are sure to go your way!

And there can be a subsidiary that hires out gun-toting cheerleaders as event bodyguards: intimidate the bad guys with armed happiness!

betamax3000 said...

When I was in high school I had the good fortune to get the locker directly beneath that of Kim Mxxxxx, the most adorable of the cheerleaders.

Was offered money, drugs, booze, you-name-it to simply trade lockers.

Had the locker for four years.

betamax3000 said...

Locker location was Destiny.

betamax3000 said...

All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no cheerleaders makes Jack a dull boy.

"The Shining" would have been better with the addition of cheerleaders.

DEEBEE said...

A study says that "Studies may induce people into believing things that they instinctively know are incorrect."