February 17, 2013

"And down the street is a retro-chic bakery, where... the windows are decorated with bird silhouettes — the universal symbol for 'hipsters welcome.'"

From the second paragraph of a NYT style article titled "Creating Hipsturbia" about NY suburb such as Hastings-on-Hudson. That bird business called to mind this segment from the TV show "Portlandia":



Anyway, the article is interesting and amusingly written, even if you don't worry about how suburbs can adapt to the tastes of "the type of alt-culture-allegiant urbanites who once considered themselves too cool to ever leave the city."

"Hipsturbia" is a good portmanteau word (if "good" includes making people who are trying to feel good about something feel bad).
To ward off the nagging sense that a move to the suburbs is tantamount to becoming like one’s parents, this urban-zen generation is seeking out palatable alternatives... and importing the trappings of a twee lifestyle like bearded mixologists, locavore restaurants and antler-laden boutiques.
How are they supposed to ward off nagging senses with the NYT dogging them like this? Don't these people know they are never ever ever supposed to leave the city — not for fresh air, not for adequate housing at a remotely decent price, not for good enough public schools, not for anything? If you leave you will be punished. You may try to get something that reminds you of the Real Life that can only be had in Brooklyn, but you will be pleasuring yourself with antlers.

33 comments:

campy said...

pleasuring yourself with antlers

I would prefer not to.

betamax3000 said...

Re: "pleasuring yourself with antlers."

Wow.

Taxidermic sex toys: stuffed for you 'stuff'...

betamax3000 said...

The edgiest of Hipsters use Porcupine.

betamax3000 said...

Lesbian Taxidermy Store workers: we carry tongues in all sizes, up to 'Big Bear'.

mesquito said...

Why the hell can't they move to the suburbs ironically?

betamax3000 said...

Here in the Great Northwest it seems the trend now is to walk everywhere with your rolled-up blue yoga pad sticking out of your carry-bag or backpack.

Culturally inflexible, but the body can bend like Gumby.

Of course, some may use Gumby as a sex toy. Ironically.

(Or would that be Pokey?)

mesquito said...

Btw, if you're thinking of moving to Mesquito Canyon, Texas, for Pete's sake leave Brooklyn right where it is.

betamax3000 said...

I bet Angelina Jolie has used an antler in a pleasuring sense at one point or another: she seems like that kind of girl.

(at one point or another: antlers are the gift that keeps giving).

betamax3000 said...

Maybe Meat Loaf eats the animal and gives Jolie the left-over antlers.

"... suddenly she was again keeping half a dozen dates a day with half a dozen men, and drowsing asleep at dawn with the beads and chiffon of an evening dress tangled among antlers on the floor beside her bed."

betamax3000 said...

"There is no confusion like the confusion of a simple mind, and as we drove away Brad Pitt was feeling the hot antlers of panic."

betamax3000 said...

"She went out of the room calling 'Pitt!' and returned in a few minutes accompanied by an embarrassed, slightly worn young man, with shell-rimmed glasses and scanty blond goatee."

Mitchell the Bat said...

Interestingly enough, it was just this morning that I read Lincoln's 1842 speech to the Springfield Washingtonian Temperance Society.

He lauded the mission but cautioned against an approach that could be viewed as heavy-handed.

"It is an old and a true maxim that 'a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.' If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that that you are his sincere friend."

I didn't read the NYT article, as I expected to find it galling.

betamax3000 said...

"They knew that presently dinner would be over and a little later the antlers, too, would be over and casually put away."

betamax3000 said...

Re: "It is an old and a true maxim that 'a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall."

Hipsters can make all kinds of things with a gallon of gall. And -- of course -- hemp.

betamax3000 said...

Can you pickle with gall?

Craig said...

Malfunctioning kidneys grow antlers inside.

Paco Wové said...

"a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall"

Old Abe wouldn't last a day on the Internet.

ricpic said...

A hipster friendly town becomes, over time, increasingly unfriendly to squares.

--ricpic's 2nd Rule of Hipster Tolerance.

Paul Zrimsek said...

Suburbia : hipsters :: cruise ships : Althouse.

Shouting Thomas said...

It's about time you discovered Portlandia, Althouse.

I've been telling you for some time that the kids who went through adolescence in the 80s and 90s think that their era was incredibly revolutionary and that you're a tired old square.

Keep that in mind.

Shouting Thomas said...

Here's the first rule to remember about hipster towns like my little burg of Woodstock:

The people who arrived around the same time as you are called pioneers.

People who arrived after that time are called despoilers of the environment.

edutcher said...

I do feel sorry for the people at the Gray Lady.

All grown up and working for THE NEWSPAPER OF RECORD and they're still trying to identify with the cool kids.

wyo sis said...

It's always called art. It never is art.

EDH said...

By coincidence, Fred Armisen played a pretty funny female retro hipster pseudo-intellectual-sophisticate last night on Saturday Night Live...

Regine

"Isn't she amazing?"

kentuckyliz said...

Does feeling the hot antlers of panic give you a headache?

I had a crazy headache Friday that made me go to an ER for the second time in my life. First time was a car wreck in 2010.

The craziness of the headache made me feel hot antlers of panic, but they didn't show up on the CAT scan.

Sam L. said...

My angst! It's killing me! Slowly; the death of the thousand angsts.

I pity myself, to save others the trouble of ignoring me.

Sam L. said...

So I had to skim the article, wondering about the antlers talk. Found it not. So... Imaginary antlers?

kentuckyliz said...

Paul Fussell Class X. Nothing new under the sun.

I guess I'm at the age to feel that way. Sigh. The world looks stale.

BDNYC said...

Hipsters are one of many unfortunate byproducts of American freedom and wealth. Anyone who can attain advanced degrees costing hundreds of thousands, work in coffee shops but only in stylish neighborhoods, turn down square work that pays because it isnt meaningful (whatever that means), and somehow manage to make rent in some of the most expensive areas.

Must be nice to be such an individual, to be able to find yourself, to be able to do what you think necessary in pursuit of your own happiness, including self segregation. Carefree. Self-absorbed. Entitled. Precious.

Shouting Thomas said...

Here's what a hipster really is...

A hipster is a white person who has renounced his/her own race in an attempt to separate himself/herself from the stigma of being accused of being racist toward blacks.

The hated object of derision for hipsters is middle and lower class whites, who are assumed to be racist bigots.

Paddy O said...

I had an ironic mustache before it became popular and I live in the suburbs.

Pasadena is a suburb of LA right?

If you want to see hipster in full bloom, and you're not in the Northwest, go to a seminary campus, where young men and women are trying so hard to be relevant to the culture around them. I guess that's probably true for any graduate school, though.

I never quite adopted the hipster look, though elements of it certainly appeal. I can on occasion pose as one ironically. But I refuse to come anywhere near skinny jeans, and skinny jeans, for that matter, really refuse to do anything with me.

ALP said...

I am afraid, my dear, that "The Simpson's" did it.

Clyde said...

Don't let the hipsturbia disturbya.