February 24, 2013

"Sephora is a smoke monster, a rainbow, a Mobius strip of promises. There's no getting a grip on it. There is no end."

"There's only more. You can chase the dragon of self-improvement slash self-enhancement slash self-acceptance until the day you die; there's always a new fragrance, a new lip color, a new miracle cream right around the corner...."
You go in for a lip balm and come out with body polish, dry shampoo, BB cream, and Kat Von D's "Sinner" smoky eyes palette. (The are over 100,000 videos titled "Sephora Haul" on YouTube to watch should you have any doubts.) Oodles on display, a myriad of options, infinite possibilities. When you think you've finally found the solution, the crutch, the key, either you run out and need more; they stop making it and it vanishes like so much sparkly Guerlain Terra Cotta dust; or you find that what once satisfied you no longer does the trick.
100,000 videos. I tried watching one and got a couple minutes in... about 20% through. It really is a form of madness. You need to be careful going in. It's quite bizarre. You've got to admire the design of the place. A shop is a psychological manipulation and it's impressive when it's done well, but — as I said — you need to be careful.

36 comments:

rehajm said...

Crack dealer of beauty. A quality business model. Wish I had a bit of that..

kentuckyliz said...

I would sneer in superiority, having never been to Sephora, having never overshopped there, etc. I am not a maquillage devotee.

But I shall not sneer. I was tempted into a china purchase today. I resisted temptation before, but that just means it wasn't an impulse purchase because I had been thinking about it a week or two ago.

I think I inherited the "I love china" gene from my mom. We used to tease her about it. I have inherited a shitload of china, crystal, and silver, and still I had to splurge on a new pattern.

So I will not crow and mock.

Our desires are infinite.

Desire is suffering.

The Buddhists are right about that.

whoresoftheinternet said...

In other news, the man-blaming, man-hating, unaccomplished twats know as jizzwhores are bitching about makeup.

No doubt they will blame this on whitey soon enough. They practically have their own degrees in CLS already.

St. George said...

In the comments there, various female readers suggest that Lowe's and Home Depot are the male shopping equivalent of Sephora.

Trust me: Not many guys saunter to Lowe's on a spring Sunday afternoon because they enjoy lawnmower repair.

The wrechedest journalism being practiced these days is by these "ladies" publications...Jezebel and The Frisky. It recently ran an editorial denouncing men for daring to enjoy the sight of women in yoga pants. Another editor there wrote about her experiences at a kinky orgy. Abysmal.

No mouseburgers these editors.

edutcher said...

This is why I could never understand why my sister subscribed to Vogue.

I kept looking for the articles.

PS Ms Liz, is that avatar from "Ice Age"?

wyo sis said...

Haul is such a masculine word to use for buying beauty products. I wonder who came up with it?

EDH said...

Why not tax this shit, Mr. President?

YoungHegelian said...

As a business owner, let me tell you I would perform many a criminal or unnatural act if I could manage to have Sephora's profit margins.

The mark-up on that stuff is amazing! It's like jewelry or booze at a restaurant, but there's faster turnover of product.

The ladies are a goldmine if you can work 'em just right.

Kit said...

Forewarned is forearmed. Thank you.

madAsHell said...

Sephora is a smoke monster, a rainbow, a Mobius strip of promises. There's no getting a grip on it. There is no end.

I thought this was going to be another F. Scott Fitzgerald dissection.

Chip Ahoy said...

By glancing at the rows of videos I'm thinking the distinctive bags and boxes are part of it. Showing those off, making a video.

Similarly, if you buy a dozen or twenty or so Polo boxer briefs directly they will send them to in an elegant box in order to impress you to consider further purchases, and when you get them you go, "That's ace." And kind of hate to throw away such a fine box that might hold Christmas lights or something else useful, but then you go, "Itshay, it has POLO on it."

David said...

What do all the swells who hate Wal-Mart say about this?

wyo sis said...

Chip
I have the same reaction to packaging. Apple is masterful. I have boxes from Apple computers from the 1990's. They're beautiful. The boxes my iPad and components came in are like art pieces. The paper is so smooth and just the right thickness and the folds are engineered to perfection.

Titus said...

I admit I get beauty products at Sephora.

The stores are bright white and really intense. There is a sprayer every three steps-1/2 of them, gulp, our guys too. Sad. They are dressed all in black and fucking excited-I always think they have to be on some drugs being that happy about spraying strangers.

David said...

Too bad the compromise did not last:

During the Greek War of Independence the Greek people fought for independence from the Ottoman Empire who ruled them. A number of Greek Cypriots rebelled on Cyprus, in return the Ottoman rulers of Cyprus tried to keep control by using draconian means of suppression. 486 Greek Cypriots were executed on 9 July 1821, accused of conspiring with the rebelling Greeks, including four Bishops and numerous prominent citizens—all beheaded in the central square of Nicosia, while Archbishop Kyprianos was hanged.

David said...

Whoops, wrong thread.

ampersand said...

I always think they have to be on some drugs being that happy about spraying strangers.

Maybe they're reliving the 80s.

Bob_R said...

No one chatters quite like young women buying plumage for mating rituals. Factor that huge difference out and the acquisitional behavior of other groups is pretty similar. In particular, as I said in an earlier "stuff" thread, I'm a sucker for tools of all sorts, so I can't sneer. (But I also can't listen to the prattle on.)

Chip Ahoy said...

I bought a jacket from Nordstrum's once. Camel hair, but not from a real camel, and not camel-color either. It's green. I like it a lot. Wore it to party one afternoon and the host said, "Looks like you just won the master's" Golf. They get a green jacket, in case you live in France and don't know, no pedantry intended, I didn't know that myself.

So there you go, apparently I look like I won the master's when I wear it.

Did I say that right? masters, Master's, whatever.

Inga said...

I love Sephora products.

The Crack Emcee said...

After I became part of mp3.com, Sephora bought the company and then completely gutted it, turning it into nothing for any artistic purpose.

Look.

Fucking disgusting company,...

ricpic said...

A touch of blush and I'm out the door.

BaltoHvar said...

Fucking Harbor Freight, man. There's nothing like it. Part store, part museum, part laboratory, part psychologist. Densely packed with products, brightly lit as an operating room, gleaming like a NASCAR/F1 Garage, frenzied like a factory, Harbor Freight is not just a Tool store. It's a beacon, a flame to which men flit and flock like moths.

Nothing in article makes the case there is any difference except the clientele. Believe me, I just spent 2 hours roaming the aisles of BOTH HF and Sears, looking for something I did not know what.

kentuckyliz said...

The pic is nipped from the Bing My Lockscreen, which puts beautiful photos on my login screen. It's two marmots. I have another one of a polar bear squinting in a snowstorm, like the snowflakes are getting in his eyes.

whoresoftheinternet said...

I thought for sure Easy Annie A. would make an Oscar-related post, being the whore for lefty propaganda and faggy fashion that she is.

No live blogging? For shame, feminist!

ricpic said...

Bring back the gun bra!!!

ironrailsironweights said...

I worked as a vendor in Home Depot stores a while back and was surprised at how many women shop there. What may contribute to Home Depot's (and Lowe's) reputation as a retail sausage party is the fact that many contractors go there to buy tools and supplies, and of course most contractors are men.

BTW, Sephora carries quite a bit of men's stuff.

Peter

bagoh20 said...

Speaking of stupid wastes of time. I have to fly to Chicago tomorrow for a deposition because lawyers suck. The judge already ruled the questioning must be so limited that there is nothing that could possibly be gained by asking me the few possible questions he can after requiring me to travel for two days to do it.

Anyway, I will have a few hours free tomorrow evening in Chicago. I'll be staying down near the Navy Pier area. Anybody have any suggestion for something worth seeing late afternoon - evening that's close by there?

Freeman Hunt said...

Harbor Freight is a vortex. It will have you dreaming up all kinds of contraptions and wondering if you could build a little car. That store is intoxicating. I stay out of there.

Freeman Hunt said...

To overshop makeup, you have to look upon makeup like an accessory, one that you might change with your mood or outfit. Lots of people, however, approach makeup as an enhancement, not wanting it to look like makeup but like an improved version of what is naturally there, so they're mostly going to wear the same makeup all the time.

ampersand said...

Anybody have any suggestion for something worth seeing late afternoon - evening that's close by there?
I think there is a buffet at the top of the Hancock building. If I remeber right ,$20.00 all you can eat. You can see the whole city from up there

ampersand said...

Oops. The Buffet is Fridays and Saturdays only.

EMD said...

Why did I buy all of this stuff?

It can't possibly be my own fault!

I blame the store!

wyo sis said...

Bagoh
Well, there's all that art. And if that's not enough there's the water filtration plant.

Shanna said...

I'm thinking the distinctive bags and boxes are part of it.

They do a great job on that. It's like you just got a present! That you paid 50/100 dollars for. Happy Tuesday to me.

Mitchell the Bat said...

Q: What do you call a woman who makes one of those "Sephora Haul" videos?

A: Sephora Babble-On.