June 17, 2013

"Happy. Free. Confused. Oppressed by the patriarchy. At the same time."

It's FeministTaylorSwift — which WaPo tells me is a Twitter sensation. The actual Taylor Swift Twitter feed has the tag line "Happy. Free. Confused. Lonely. At the same time." Nice profile pic:



Or is this all kind of too obvious... or I mean... obvious in light of first seeing this in the context of a whole big WaPo article about it that's trending #1 most-popular on WaPo's "Most Popular" list? And — oh! — did I go off in a negative direction at the cue that another female is popular?

Happy. Free. Confused. Buffeted by mainstream media. At the same time.

41 comments:

Kevin said...

80's Don Draper is funnier.

Pogo said...

The tweets are kinda funny. ("And lead me up the staircase / Won't you whisper soft and slow / "I'd really love to hear more about your experiences with male privilege.")

Goes stale after a coupla days.

Feminism never seems to fight rappers or Muslims.
Guess they're not afraid of Taylor Swift.

Next they can go after Mother Teresa, who has the excellent quality of being dead.

Pogo said...

Chicago rapper Chief Keef tweeted:
"See you aint gone let me Fck and i feel u but you gone s*ck my D*ck fore i kill u"

Tibore said...

So, WaPo's only just now catching onto fake Twitter feed parodies of celebrities? Wow... they're so with it.

ricpic said...

She needs a man not a bicycle!

CatherineM said...

I like some fake twitter feeds. My favorite being Kim Jong Number Un. Funny.

CatherineM said...

(@KimJongNumberUn). I used to be an unemployed twentysomething still living at home. Now I have nuclear weapons.

Darrell said...

Fake WaPo would be as lame as Real WaPo.

betamax3000 said...

Seventies Van. Back Doors Open: Summer Outside. Public Park on the Outskirts of Town. Children Playing Off in the Distance. Taylor Swift, Inside the Back of the Van. Denim Cut-Offs and a Boy's Baseball T-shirt, White with three-quarter-length Blue sleeves. 'Royals' in Blue Script Across the Front. Barefoot, on the Waterbed. Strumming an Acoustic Guitar along to the Eight-Track Player. Doobie Brothers. Cowboy Boots Beside the Bed. Baby Spiders.

Mitchell the Bat said...

I'd say Taylor Swift serves as a positive role model to the extent she lacks a thigh gap.

madAsHell said...

She sounds naive.

Darrell said...

She sounds naive.

Fake Taylor Swift sounds naive, you mean. How quickly we forget.

Darrell said...

Taylor Swift wears sensible shoes when she's out and about. That's all you need to know.

edutcher said...

What's she gonna do?

Or do I not want to know?

betamax3000 said...

A man with a Camera and and a Business Card appears at the Back of the Van. He Says He is a Professional Photographer. He Says Taylor has a Special Look, that Look is Now 'In'. Would She Be Interested in Having Her Picture Taken By a Professional Photographer? It's Ok, We Can Take Them Here in the Back of the Van. Eight-Track Tape Clunks Over, Mid-Song.



betamax3000 said...

The Man with the Camera and the Business Card Takes Several Pictures of Taylor With Her Acoustic Guitar. Suggests Maybe Some Photographs that are a Bit Edgier, More Raw: Edgy and Raw are 'In'. Taylor is Unsure What This Means.

betamax3000 said...

Don't Worry, The Man with the Camera and the Business Card Says. No One Will Actually Be Able To See Anything in the Photographs: I am a Professional. You Will Be Holding Your Guitar In Front of You the Entire Time. Whatever You Are Comfortable With.

betamax3000 said...

These Photographs Will Be a Celebration of You, The Man with the Camera and the Business Card Says: You Have Nothing To Hide. You are a Very Pretty Girl: Special. Taylor Sits on the Waterbed as it Slowly Undulates, Thinking. Time Seems to Have Stopped. The Back Doors of the Van are Closed. Once Happy and Free, She Know Feels Confused. Lonely. She Clutches Her Guitar Closer to Her Chest.



betamax3000 said...

I May Have Misjudged You, The Man with the Camera and the Business Card Says: I Thought You Were a Grown Woman, Confident in Yourself and Your Appearance. Maybe I was Wrong.

betamax3000 said...

Taylor Opens Her Eyes: It All Happened So Fast. Dreamlike. There is Blood on the Inside Walls of the Van, Blood on the Doors, Blood on the Waterbed and on her Royals T-Shirt. There is Blood on the Corkscrew She Holds Clenched With Both Hands.

Darrell said...

Go Play Your Games With Justin Beiber, Taylor Swift Says to The Man with the Camera and the Business Card. I Own the Turnip Truck That I Never Fell Out Of. And The Ground Beneath It. Have You Met My 12-Ga Friend? Time To Work On Your Thigh Gap, My Sleazy Friend. Run Like The Wind.

betamax3000 said...

Taylor Climbs Barefoot into the Driver Seat. Fumbles the Keys, then Gets the Correct Key into the Ignition. Starts the Engine. Rabbit Foot Swings upon the Keychain. She Edges off the Shoulder of the Road and Drives West Down the Two-Lane Road. She Glances at the Side Mirror: Clouds of Dust Trail Her.

betamax3000 said...

Farmland. Shade Trees. She Leaves the Engine Running. Opens the Padlock to the Shed. Grabs the Shovel, Gets Back in the Van.

betamax3000 said...

Twenty Miles, maybe Twenty-Five. The Summer Sun Beats Down Upon Her Through the Windshield. She Pulls off the One-Lane Dirt Road, Enters the Back of the Van. More Blood Than She Remembered, and Darker Now. She Puts on Her Cowboy Boots, Grabs the Shovel and Walks Towards the Hill.

betamax3000 said...

The Digging Took Longer than she Expected, but She Has Always Known that She is Determined: Once She Begins a Task She Knows She Must Finish it. Sweat Gleams on Her Thighs.

betamax3000 said...

Gas Station, Just Past the Fresh Produce Stands that Line the Country Road. Taylor Pulls the Van to The Back, by the Restrooms. Blood and Dirt are Caked on Her Arms. She Waits for a Moment: No One Is Around. She Gets Out of the Van and Enters the Restroom.

betamax3000 said...

Wearing a Baby-Blue Sweatshirt She Fills the Five Gallon Gas Can at the Pump. The Attendant Inside Watches Through the Window. Pretty Girl, but the Weather's Awful Hot to be Wearing a T-Shirt. Taylor Puts the Gas Can in the Back of the Van, then goes Back to the Driver Side Door, Rummages Under the Seat, Takes out the Gun and Slips it into Her Sweatshirt Pocket.

betamax3000 said...

Mister, I Really Do Not Want to Harm You, But I Do Need The Money. The Gun Shakes Slightly in Taylor's Outstretched Hand.

betamax3000 said...

Half-a-Mile Off the Side of the Road Taylor Pulls the Van to a Stop, Gets Out, Walks Around to the Back of the Van, Retrieves the Gas Can. Splashes Gasoline Throughout the Inside of the Van, Wherever there is Blood. Pulls a Matchbook Out of her Back Pocket. Hesitates, but Only for a Moment.

betamax3000 said...

By the Time Taylor has Walked Back to the Road the Van is in Flames in the Distance. Smoke Trails away in the Slight Breeze. She Stands on the Shoulder of the Road and Puts Out Her Thumb: She has a Friend in Oklahoma, Perhaps She Can Stay There For a Few Nights.

betamax3000 said...

Three Hours West. Taylor Wished That She Didn't Have to Have Pulled the Gun on the Truck Driver, But a Gun and the Word "No" Means More than the Word "No" Alone. Night in Oklahoma.

betamax3000 said...

California, Two Months Later, Pawn Shop, East Los Angeles. It is Hard Work being a Waitress, But She Earned the Money Honestly. She Holds the Acoustic Guitar in Her Hands, Strums a Few Chords, Nods, Pays the Clerk. She Has Never Lost Faith in Her Dream. She Has Always Known that She is Determined: Once She Begins a Task She Knows She Must Finish it. She Will be a Star.

betamax3000 said...

LifeTime Movie of the Week: Taylor Swift, Feminist: The True Story.

betamax3000 said...

(Buffeted by Betamax3000 media)

Carol said...

Feh.

betamax3000 said...

Feh?

Ouch.

betamax3000 said...

I Guess the Sequel "Guitar of Vengeance: Taylor Swift, Vigilante" won't be in the Works...

betamax3000 said...

RE: ""Happy. Free. Confused. Lonely. At the same time."

That Kept Tickling My Brain. Finally found it: John Mellencamp.

She calls me up and says baby it's a lonely ol' night
I don't know I'm just so scared and lonely all at the same time

Sigivald said...

Don't use twitter.

Problem solved.

Bob_R said...

The corkscrew is a nice touch, and i love a happy ending.

betamax3000 said...

Movie Trailer:

Los Angeles. Taylor Swift has Lived Here Just Over a Year Now. Waitress at the Denny's during the Day, Plays her Songs at Small Clubs and Coffee Shops at Night. Her Big Break is Coming: She Can Feel It.

Strikes Up a Friendship with Another Female Singer. Montage: the Two of Them, Shopping at Vintage Clothing Shops, Walking Along the Streets of LA, Drinking Cheap Wine on the Balcony of Taylor's Small One-Bedroom Apartment, Buying a Used Van from a Run-Down Car Lot: Music Cue, Portentous.

Cut to: Singing Friend, Crying. He Said he was an Agent, that He Had Connections: more Crying.

Taylor Swift Voice-over:

These Lechers and Creeps that Prey on Vulnerable Young Women in This City: Something Should Be Done. And Someone Needs to Do It.

Handgun, beneath Feminine Good-Girl Underwear and Socks, Pulled Out from Bureau Drawer.

Cut to: Lecher Agent Standing Up behind Cluttered Desk in Seedy Office, Sweating, Hands Outstretched in Front of Him.

"Lady, You Gotta Understand: This is the Way Things Work Here..."

Sound Cue: Hammer Click of Gun.

Cut to: Aerial Shot of Sprawling LA. Taylor Swift Song Plays. Lens Flare.

Cut to: Rabbit Foot Hanging From Keychain.

Cut to: Taylor in Driver Seat of Used Seventies Van, Driving Down Empty LA Street. Eyes Narrowed. Traffic Light Changing From Red to Green.

"Guitar of Vengeance: Taylor Swift, Vigilante" Superimposed.

Taylor Swift Voice-over:

You Know, I Know a Bit About How These Things Work...

Fade.