June 20, 2013

Watch for the moment when the bear decides You know what, I don't want to be in your stupid iPhone viral video.

Hit pause or mute at 1:40 if you don't want to hear the man say "holy shit."

38 comments:

edutcher said...

He was lucky the bear was just curious.

rhhardin said...

Will Cuppy recommends climbing a tree to escape anacondas.

Anacondas also climb trees, he footnotes.

I believe it was anaconda.

It's at a distance of 50 years.

C Stanley said...

It was just a cub so itisn't surprising that it was just curious, but I was surprised that the mother was nearby but nonchalant.

Mitchell the Bat said...

The internet is making us all dumber and I'm pretty much running on fumes.

wyo sis said...

I can't believe how fast the bear went up that tree.

bagoh20 said...

We are so helpless. That freaking fatass bear just ran up that tree like it was horizontal. He was just showing off.

Loren said...

I would have been saying "Holy Shit" a lot earlier. Like when the bear was coming up the tree.

Loren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sorun said...

I bet the bear could smell the PB&J sandwich in his pocket.

Chip Ahoy said...

Huff, huff, huff, "Hello."

Scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch why did I do this? scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch scootch

"Vicar, whisper it, what do you pronounce this spot on my pants?"

Mitch H. said...

That guy was in cammo, in a hunting blind. He probably was armed to the teeth, although presumably not hunting bear.

TMink said...

I try to not curse and appreciate it when other people do the same. But I think this guys showed amazing restraint when he only said "Holy Shit!"

Trey

Dust Bunny Queen said...

That guy was in cammo, in a hunting blind. He probably was armed to the teeth, although presumably not hunting bear.

Bow hunting for deer. Whether you can also be armed with a gun...I don't know. We don't use tree stands for bow hunting here.

Ann Althouse said...

"He probably was armed to the teeth, although presumably not hunting bear."

So why was he holding the video phone?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

So why was he holding the video phone?

To take a video...of some bears?

Ann Althouse said...

I infer that he had the phone in his right hand. He might be left-handed.

Do you think he had a usable weapon in his free hand?

Note that with a phone, he could call 911. That's what nice people do.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

To be serious. The bear was a curious cub. He was taking a video of them on the ground and didn't expect that the cub would suddenly scramble up the tree. The best thing to do was to remain completely still and quiet. Pretend you are invisible. DON'T MOVE. The movement of not videoing might be enough to startle the cub.

Even IF he was armed with something other than a bow, the last thing you want to do is to harm the cub and anger the mother bear who not only can climb up the tree as easily, but can eat your ass in just a few seconds. Your bow is useless at that short range and you likely wouldn't get off an effective killing shot with your firearm, before you were mauled, drug out of the tree stand and killed. Bears are INCREDIBLY strong and VERY fast.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Note that with a phone, he could call 911. That's what nice people do.

Please say you are joking.

Nomennovum said...

That guy held his shit together remarkably well. I would have shot the carnivore.

john said...

"This is 911, what is your emergency? You are where? OK, we'll have someone out in the morning."

Nomennovum said...

Will Cuppy recommends climbing a tree to escape anacondas. Anacondas also climb trees, he footnotes.

They do more than that. They destroy boats, houses, and other structures. They also eat full grow adults.

I know this because I saw it in the movie Anaconda, starring Ice T, J-Lo, and Kari Wuhrer.

Ignorance is Bliss said...


"This is 911, what is your emergency? You are where? And who is your dentist? No, no, we'll just need the records for identification purposes."

Michael said...

In which video it is again proven that you do not evade a bear by climbing a tree. Run downhill as fast as you fucking can since the bear's foreshortened front legs will likely make him tumble. It might really piss him off but then again you will have lived to enjoy those extra few moments.

Skyler said...

I would have shot the bear the moment it started climbing the tree. And I would hope that I had a big enough caliber.

Skyler said...

But then he might have a problem with the game warden if they don't believe it climbed the tree.

Rusty said...

ote that with a phone, he could call 911. That's what nice people do.


You're just too damned adorable for words.

Colonel Angus said...

Note that with a phone, he could call 911. That's what nice people do.

Please say you are joking.


In my short tenure here I have developed two theories about the hostess. She deliberately posts naieve commentary to generate discussion or she is dumber than a box of rocks.

YMMV

Rusty said...

Colonel Angus said...
Note that with a phone, he could call 911. That's what nice people do.

Please say you are joking.

In my short tenure here I have developed two theories about the hostess. She deliberately posts naieve commentary to generate discussion or she is dumber than a box of rocks.

I think, Colonel, that she has had a rather privileged upbringing and is unfamiliar with some aspects of of a less privileged midwestern folks pass times.
For this she can be forgiven.

Nomennovum said...

she has had a rather privileged upbringing and is unfamiliar with some aspects of of a less privileged midwestern folks pass times.

I am so discerning as to be able to read from the pixels on my screen the writer's emotions. Ann was being facetious.

Dante said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ken in sc said...

Shoot,shovel,and shut up. No problem with game wardens unless you shoot off your mouth.

ken in sc said...

Bear meat is supposed to very good, better that pork, but processing it would expose you to too many chances for trouble. Shame to waste it really.

~ Steven said...

Sometimes you become aware of the fact that you can become in a minutes notice part of an endangered species.

Crunchy Frog said...

Bow hunting for deer.

Which pretty much means his day is totally wasted. Might as well take some bear video, cuz the deer aren't going to be anywhere close.

ndspinelli said...

I'm sure edutcher hit mute on the "holy shit."

Saint Croix said...

Of course she's joking. That was self-snark.

mariner said...

If I had that experience I'd remember it for the rest of my life.

"I was THIS close to a wild bear. I didn't harm the bear and he didn't harm me. (AND I got the video to prove it!)

That's WIN all around.

Of course, the happy ending wasn't pre-ordained; humans are NOT at the top of the food chain.

Billy Oblivion said...

Mariner: We are the top of the food chain, we're just not the only animals up there.