August 30, 2013

"Obviously not designed by a heterosexual man. It looks damaged and hideously asymmetrical."

Says Clyde, in the comments to the post about that very bizarre (and asymmetrical dress Cate Blanchett wore to the Paris premiere of "Blue Jasmine").

I say:
Heteros are bugs for symmetry and on guard for hideousness and damage? What evidence is there of that?

I see hetero men around all the time who don't seem to mind hideousness and damage.
Clyde says:
Ann, while standards of beauty vary from culture to culture, one thing that is a constant is facial symmetry. Asymmetrical features are often subconsciously viewed as evidence of bad genes. While we are talking about clothing, most of it is very symmetrical as well. I can't think of any men's clothing that isn't. The exceptions are in high-fashion women's clothing, and it's usually something like a strap on one shoulder, or a curved or diagonal cut on a dress or skirt, done to highlight one part or another of the wearer's body. In the case of Kate's dress, it didn't highlight anything; rather than accentuating her beauty, it drew attention away from it. You might as well have called it the Harrison Bergeron collection. It was the sartorial equivalent of Miley Cyrus's VMA performance. It got everyone talking, but not in a good way.

As for the "not designed by a heterosexual man" bit, a female friend and I have discussed some of the more outrageous fashion runway pictures we've seen in online galleries, and we generally agreed that anyone who would create some of the outfits that not only looked ugly but uncomfortable as well could not like women, at all. A straight man would create something to try to make a woman look good, something that would make a man say, "That dress looks great! She's hot! I want her!" A gay man might try to sabotage her so that the man would say, "That dress looks hideous! She's a hot mess! I pity her! Maybe I should try guys instead."
Not responding to all of that —I'm still drinking my first cup of coffee — I double down on symmetry:
"While we are talking about clothing, most of it is very symmetrical as well. I can't think of any men's clothing that isn't."

So what's the tailor talking about when he asks if you "dress right or dress left"?
Aside from the testicles issue...

The handkerchief pocket is on one side.

You wear a watch on one side.

Most sports are one-sided -- tennis, bowling, golf, baseball...

Masturbation... do you balance which hand you use?

You guys are very asymmetrical. The whole idea of orientation only to one of the 2 sexes is asymmetrical.
Now — finishing up that coffee — I'll just add that I'm not buying the old idea that gay men don't want women to look beautiful. Go to that the second link above — the one that takes you to the photo of Cate Blanchett's dress — and read some of the other posts there. Tom & Lorenzo — gay guys — clearly love to see women looking beautiful. Look at this post of theirs about Lena Dunham's photo shoot for Marie Claire magazine:
We pray to all that is holy and fabulous that Miss Lena has learned a very valuable and important lesson here....

It’s okay to shoot for fabulous, honey. You’re more than capable of landing on it.


David said...

My wife's condo in Chicago was teeming with gay men of various kinds. She was (and is) a flaming redhead and believe me they wanted her to look good. Many of them wanted to be seen with her and shepard her around. They were nice to her, nice to her kids, nice to her dog.

Julie C said...

Having watched Project Runway for years now, I would say that designers who did not produce flattering clothing were often chastised by Michael Kors. He was very adamant about making women look good, including women who don't have Heidi Klum's figure.

Big Mike said...

Speaking as an unabashed heterosexual, I wish to assure "Clyde" that there are plenty of asymmetrical dresses that look great on a good-looking woman. The problem with Blanchett's dress is that it made her look like an escapee from the set of "Kiss of the Spider Woman."

urpower said...

I think perhaps gay designers are interested in women stepping out of the (symmetrical) boxes that men put them in.

mtrobertsattorney said...

Is there such a thing as a beautiful woman with an asymmetrical face?

Jason said...

I been Norman Mailered, Maxwell Taylored
I been John O'Hara'd, McNamara'd.
I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind.
I been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
I'm a communist, 'cause I'm left-handed!
Well, if that's the hand you use... well, never mind!

SukieTawdry said...

Damn, that dress is ugly. Although it does look marginally better on Cate than it does on the mannequin.