October 18, 2013

The iconic foods of the states — one per state — ranked in order of greatness.

From #1 — Illinois (Chicago-style pizza) to #52 — Ohio (Cincinnati-style chili).

52?! It's coming in after #51, "Being hit by a car."
Whatever virtue this bad-tasting Z-grade atrocity once contained derived from its exemplification of a set of certain cherished American fables—immigrant ingenuity, the cultural melting pot, old things combining into new things—and has now been totally swamped and consumed by different and infinitely uglier American realities: the commodification of culture; the transmutation of authentic artifacts of human life into hollow corporate brand divisions; the willingness of Americans to slop any horrible goddamn thing into their fucking mouths if it claims to contain some byproduct of a cow and comes buried beneath a pyramid of shredded, waxy, safety-cone-orange "cheese."
Hey! I had some, back in '09. See:

DSC_0005.JPG

Via Throwing Things, to which I also owe thanks for sending me to this page where you're asked to vote to rank "Pennsylvania's Top 10 Endangered Artifacts," including the wig of Thaddeus Stevens.

120 comments:

Revenant said...

The belief that Chicago pizza is better than New York pizza has been scientifically shown to be wrong.

Seriously. There have been, like, studies and stuff.

Edmund said...

Some of these are nonsensical.
- Fried Okra for Oklahoma? Not sure if Okra even grows there.
- Corndog for Iowa? The corndog was invented in Texas, for the state fair.

Old RPM Daddy said...

Access to the Deadspin site blocked at the office. Oh, well. I guess somebody doesn't like Skyline (or Empress, or Gold Star). Too bad.

Back in college, I had a bud who lived on the Indiana side of Cincinnati, and would drive home on weekends to see his girl. On the return trip, he'd sometimes stock up on frozen Empress chili, complete with the pasta, and some Christian Moerlein beer. That would be Sunday dinner for the rest of us. One of the three or four good memories of college.

Old RPM Daddy said...

"The belief that Chicago pizza is better than New York pizza has been scientifically shown to be wrong."

Hard to disagree with that! I can't imagine how someone would like deep dish better, unless he was particularly fond of dough.

Sorun said...

The stupid author thinks Memphis-style and Kansas City-style ribs are the same thing. They're prepared very differently.

TosaGuy said...

The author said "fucking" as an adjective. How edgy and hip!

Lauderdale Vet said...

The Cuban Sandwich is not from Tampa. Those weirdos put Salami on it.

:)

Glad to see Key Lime Pie came in at number seven, though.

Rocketeer said...

You know, I really like Skyline chili, 5-way. I can live with Deadspin's rote manufactured scorn. Which, now that I think about it, is an example of the transmutation of authentic scorn into hollow corporate brand divisions; and evidence of the willingness of internet users to slop any horrible goddamn content into their fucking heads if it merely pretends to contain some byproduct of studied, thoughtful consideration and comes buried beneath a pyramid of shredded, waxy, incandescent impotent outrage.

chuck said...

What is the recommended reading age for the dead spin site, 12-16? Tiresome.

Freeman Hunt said...

The mission style burrito is number three? Maybe if you're comparing it to other fast food, but food generally?

JackOfClubs said...

I've lived in California all my life and never heard of a "mission style burrito". How can this be iconic? A better choice would be the California Roll type of sushi -- which I hate, but at least people have at least heard of it.

Rocketeer said...

I would think the mission style burrito would get boring after awhile.

RecChief said...

a corn dog?
A better choice in my opinion would have been the pork tenderloin, either breaded and fried or grilled.

A corn dog? smh

Mitch H. said...

Maryland crab cake came at #4? Is there some mythic part of Maryland outside of Baltimore with a crab cake that is actually edible? Because the crab cake I've had in the Inner Harbor wasn't an improvement over chewing on used inner tubes.

Oclarki said...

Deadspin = why everyhting you like sucks snark plus knee jerk liberalism.

TosaGuy said...

Shrimp and Grits is simply a fantastic creation.

Steven Colbert gets it right about North Carolina BBQ.

Jane said...

Chicago-style pizza is not really Chicago-style pizza, but the invention of a guy that happened to live in Chicago, and versions duplicated by competing chains. True Chicago pizza is measured by whether, when you go to the local mom & pop pizza place and ordre a "regular" pizza, it's what you get. Thin crust, think cheese, cut into squares, a big globby mess. (here's my post, by the way).

Jane said...

Oh, and the article also messed up on Michigan. The UP's signature foodstuff may be a pasty, but downstate, it's all about the Coney Islands.

madAsHell said...

I thought Texas would be chicken fried steak.

I see that Frito pie, and deep fried twinkies were overlooked.

CWJ said...

Sorun's right by the way about the ribs. The author may know squat about BBQ, but at least he didn't say St. Louis style ribs. I'll give him that much.

CWJ said...

Also, shouldn't there be 57 state foods?

MrCharlie2 said...

Best "New York pizza" is from Jersey, of course. And national food of Connecticut is the Grinder.

LordSomber said...

Skyline chili doesn't taste bad, it's just a poor caricature of what proper chili is.

NC bbq rules as does its livermush (the Southern version of scrapple.)

El Pollo Raylan said...

It's all ethnic food. That is the great uniter.

john said...

That was the best description of Lutefisk (North Dakota?) I have seen. If you actually tasted it, you would concede he has given it the benefit of the doubt.

In fairness to the Nordic types who invented this monstrosity, a recent Swedish pole revealed that the favorite food in that country was Ikea meatballs (3 lb package).

SteveR said...

Food lists are generally bad, and this is no exception. Besides the fact that the writer fancies himself clever while using lots of cussing (how cool is that?), he's clearly pretty stupid about food. Just for starters, Mission Style Burrito #3 because, among other things you can stuff a lot of rice in it.

Inga said...

Ye Gads! Who could eat that mound of cheese? I like cheese, but whoa. I'd waste 7/8ths of that cheese, by pushing it off my plate. That cheese could make 10 grilled cheese sandwhiches.

Old RPM Daddy said...

"Who could eat that mound of cheese?"

It looks like there's more than there really is. The pasta holding up the chili is piled pretty high.

I won't get into the argument whether Cincinnati-style is "real" chili or not. It's so obviously different from the southwestern styles that the comparison seems a little pointless, like apples versus pears.

Bob R said...

Horrible style, but he has Virginia Ham right. Ham isn't anywhere as popular hear as, for instance, Georgia. And Virginia country hams aren't really all that good when eaten straight. (They make great spaghetti carbonara.)

Inga said...

Montana can keep theirs. Wisconsin's brats are not your dull boring sausages you get just any old where, ya know! This guy should stick to bulls balls.,

BDNYC said...

So much wrong with that list. For example, vastly overrated mission burritos as one of the "greats"? Please. Chicago pizza being number 1? Definitely not.

And Texas brisket is much better than just being big and smoky. It's absolutely delicious. Brisket isn't even the best thing to come out of Texas. See, e.g., Tex-Mex. And NY pizza is incredible.

whswhs said...

The Ohioan chili I was introduced to, and now make regularly, has no cheese in it at all. Its flavor principle is red bell peppers and cinnamon, giving it a comparatively sweet flavor somewhat different from conventional chili (but without sugar). I'm pretty sure I was told it's called "Cincinnati chili." I've never heard of smothering in cheese, except that it seems to be characteristic of all American dishes these days; it's hard to find anything without it in a lot of restaurants.

Tom said...

Skyline (and Cincinnati Style Chili) = Ambrosia. It's a really easy equation.

Seriously, Skyline Chili isn't really chili. It's a Greek meat stew. There's a difference. That's why it's runny and the meet isn't browned before going in the pot. Some people love it and some don't. I prefer cheese coneys - and if I was on death row, cheese coneys would be my last meal. But expecting it to be chili in the Tex Mex sense - well, those are just two different things.

Carol said...

For Nevada I would have used the Big Pile of Orange Fries served in the Basque restaurants. Or picon punch, but that's a drink.

Montana should have got pastys but Michigan got those instead.

Tom said...

meat*

Tom said...

Skyline (and Cincinnati Style Chili) = Ambrosia. It's a really easy equation.

Seriously, Skyline Chili isn't really chili. It's a Greek meat stew. There's a difference. That's why it's runny and the meet isn't browned before going in the pot. Some people love it and some don't. I prefer cheese coneys - and if I was on death row, cheese coneys would be my last meal. But expecting it to be chili in the Tex Mex sense - well, those are just two different things.

BarrySanders20 said...

Skyline was great late-night fare, or next-morning, esp. with lots of tobasco filtered through the cheese into the chili and noodles. Mmmmm.

The author must be some kind of metrosexual misfit to be so offended by the Skyline.

Joe said...

I've lived in Utah for 22 years and never once seen green jello, let alone green jello with carrots. I did see such a thing growing up in New York!

If there is a genuinely iconic "food" for Utah, it's Fry Sauce.

BTW, I prefer New York style pizza and the best I've had was a place in Glendale, California that existed for a few years in the mid-80s. (There's a New York Pizza place in Glendale now, but it's a different restaurant.)

tim maguire said...

Maple syrup 27?!? Illinois pizza not only better than New York pizza, but 21 spots better?!? Fried Green Tomatoes not only better than syrup but 19 spots better?

Clearly, this was all about dissing Ohio, the rest is random.

Birches said...

Love the racist jab at AZ. Stay classy, Deadspin.

NY Pizza is definitely better than Chicago style. I made pan pepperoni pizzas last night for dinner, but the only reason was that my NY pizza dough needs to proof overnight and I didn't prepared ahead of time.

Mission style burritos should be outlawed. Total white people food. Go check out a Chipotle sometime and see how many Latinos you see oredering. Rice belongs on the side, along with refried beans.

Big Mike said...

This guy has zero point zero zero taste. Deep dish pizza is only technically pizza, and not worth walking across the street for a free slice, much less to buy. Ledo's thin crust pizza (once you get past the fact that it's square) from College Park, Maryland, and other locations in and around the District of Columbia beats anything else that dares to call itself pizza.

Maryland crab cakes are not all the way down to #4. The only thing better than crab cakes is ambrosia, and there's been no ambrosia since the gods departed from Olympus.

On the other hand, he's sadly right about Northern Virginian's taste for soy lattes, and Virginia hams being too salty. However DC half smokes are way better than Rhode Island weiners. Not that either is in the same league as Wisconsin brats, of course, which are sadly underrated in this list. The article writer needs to eat sausage until he understands it, or dies from clogged arteries.

Much as I love gumbo, I prefer jambalaya for Lousiana. And either of them should be rated way above anything made with grits.

Memphis ribs below clam chowder??? Ignorance. Sheerest ignorance on the part of the writer.

I've had better brisket BBQ in New Mexico than in Texas. Just sayin'

I'd put chicken-fried steak with Texas, and then put it in the top 10. When you gaze upon the thick, white gravy and feel your arteries harden up just from the visual signals received by your eyes, then you know it's good. Chicken-fried steak at #37? Maybe the way they cook it in Wyoming.

Cedar plank salmon at #30? May the bastard die of food poisoning!

Lutefisk rated higher than anything at all??? Good Lord! A railroad was once sued for misrouting a carload of lutefisk, claiming that the lutefisk has spoiled. I think they won their case when no one could figure out how you could tell spoiled lutefisk from unspoiled lutefisk.

gpm said...

The iconic Illinois dish isn't any kind of pizza. It's an Italian beef sandwich.

--gpm

Marshal said...

Mitch H. said...
Because the crab cake I've had in the Inner Harbor wasn't an improvement over chewing on used inner tubes.


You ate the tourist crap. The places with good ones are often shacks. And stay away from Phillips, the most overhyped restaurant on the planet.

MarkD said...

This is so wrong. No loco moko for Hawaii? No beef on weck for upstate NY - or even Buffalo wings? First place to a lump of cheese that calls itself pizza from Chicago?

Sigivald said...

"the commodification of culture; the transmutation of authentic artifacts of human life into hollow corporate brand divisions; the willingness of Americans to slop any horrible goddamn thing into their fucking mouths if it claims to contain some byproduct of a cow and comes buried beneath a pyramid of shredded, waxy, safety-cone-orange "cheese.""

This reveals the author to be a giant douchenozzle, as we put it these days.

Oh, no! Commodification! Corporate!

Just shut up, for the love of God*.

(* Says the atheist.)

Sigivald said...

(Though now that I see it, Rocketeer's response was better.

Kudos.)

Jane said...

OK, let's crowdsource a proper list: what are your rankings? And -- hey, Illinois really ought to be the Chicago-style hot dog. Or maybe gyros -- how local vs. country-wide is this?

Mike said...

One thing I can't stand about living in the Bay Area are the ridiculous burritos loaded with rice. As a proud Southern California native I can say I was raised in a land where burritos do not include rice.

Sigivald said...

On a local note, nobody here in Oregon thinks that marionberry pie is The Most Awesomest Food Ever. I mean, they're good, if you like berry pies, like some sort of degenerate monster. But not THAT good.

(Cobbler, maybe. Not pie.)

And how did he get Hawai'i without picking Loco Moko instead of "spam and eggs with rice"?

Back to the Northwest, we don't give a damn about salmon, either.

Because it's cheap and omnipresent.

(This is how you tell locals from tourists apart: Tourists get the salmon.

Locals get white fish, because they've been sick of bloody salmon for years.)

Kelly said...

Who loves corn dogs? Me. That's who. The first time I ever had a hand dipped corn dog was in Texas and I couldn't get enough. I've been to Iowa many times and can't remember ever seeing corn dogs there outside the grocery store.

jaliranchr said...

As a fourth generation Coloradoan, I can honestly say I have never had the said "Cowboy Cookie." Nor have I ever heard of said "Cowboy Cookie." Perhaps they heard about "Cowpies" and took it from there.

Birches said...

I'd vote for a Chicago dog. I didn't like relish until I had one of those.

JoyD said...

I had to smile because our adult sons, who live in Cincinnati, just loathe that chili. I kind of like it though, it reminds me of a Greek dish I used to make called pastitsio. Maybe that's why they don't like it?? The writer of that column was such a child, substituting fuck value for humor, that was new when I was 12 in 1964.

drozz said...

philly has roast pork sandwiches (dinics), schmitter's from mcnally's, and cheesesteaks at places like mamas and delassandros....

and they chose scrapple?

bogus list.

and yeah, pittsburgh's trademark food is a sandwich that they added fries to.

St. George said...

Shrimp and Grits was invented not in South Carolina but in North Carolina at the restaurant Crook's Corner in Chapel Hill.

"Crook's has the reputation for being "the birthplace of Shrimp and Grits." The often copied dish became famous after Craig Claiborne wrote about it in The New York Times. It's still wildly popular and Crook's has served it in the late chef's style now for more than 25 years."

Peggy Coffey said...

I live in Columbus and I would rather be hit by a car than eat Skyline "chili". It's god-awful.

Jeff Gee said...

"Salt Water Taffy" indeed. The signature food stuff of New Jersey is the Hot Texas Wiener (a delicacy unknown in Texas), although a case could be made for the Taylor Ham Sandwich. Ranking Chicago pizza above New York pizza (number one, yet!) can only mean copious amounts of very bad drugs were consumed while this was written.

Julie C said...

I lived in Pennsylvania for many years and never had scrapple. I know what it is, but I don't think it is that widely eaten.

I love crab cakes, and Dungeness crab cakes are pretty darn good too.

Mission style burritos? Please. We call them gut bombs.

I would have to agree with JackofClubs - California roll or maybe some annoying Alice Waters inspired salad thing with organic this and free-range that.

Civil Sense said...

I love Cincinnati chili, and I grew up in Cleveland. My mom actually found a recipe. All it is is cooked spiced meat. The secret ingredient is a square of baker's chocolate with allspice, cloves, cinnamon and cumin.

The Godfather said...

25-30 years ago, I was on a business trip to Denver with a bunch of other DC lawyers, and at the end of the day, someone suggested we go to dinner at the Buckhorn Exchange. This restaurant had (and may still have) a lot of hearty dishes, as well as some game things as appetizers (you know, fried rattlesnake, etc.). I noticed they had prairie oysters as an appetizer, and I told the senior partner sitting next to me he should try them. He said he liked sea food, so he ordered them. After he was about half way through the prairie oysters, I told him what they were. He thought about it, asked me if I'd liked some (no, thanks), and then finished them up with gusto. THAT's a great lawyer.

Timeforchange said...

With all the Deer we have in Wisconsin our best dish should be "Deer Balls". It's under a "Buck" what a bargain.

gadfly said...

Marionberry Pie. Could the fruit pie be named after a pie-in-the-face kind of guy - the former cokehead, Mayor (and now Eighth Ward Councilman) Whatshisname of the District of Columbia?

Broomhandle said...

This Washingtonian would rather eat a day old Filet-O-Fish than any salmon I've ever tasted. It's sea stodge, trotted out for the clueless and out-of-staters, like it's some freakin' delicacy. Give me a tart/sweet apple right off the tree in late September.

Titus said...

He got Mass right.

The Arkansas crack was hilarious.

Deirdre Mundy said...

Obviously, this fellow has never had a good pork tenderloin.

Deirdre Mundy said...

Also, WRT to the Scrapple... apparently it was a big thing when my parents were little... they bought it for us one time and swore we had to try it because it was great.

Yuck.

It's like Head Cheese.... something that only people with severe cases of nostalgia eat.....

rhhardin said...

Kansas City ribs get their flavor from the hand of the counterman.

This explained the experience of the NYT food critic, who was such a distinguished looking gentleman that the counterman used tongs.

Paddy O said...

I didn't know "mission style burrito" was a thing.

Or rather, I didn't know it was called a "mission style burrito." And I didn't know it was a California thing.

I know the burrito. I know it in many forms, almost always the best is found in corner, usually not nice looking, hole-in-the wall place.

But they're right. They're delicious. One of my favorite foods.

I just called them a burrito. And knew when I said it they were of a different class than the same named as chain restaurants.

Paddy O said...

Chicago pizza is indeed a wonder, much better than NY. Someone must say, for it is truth.

Ginos East Sausage pizza is itself a wonder. A layer of sausage, not pieces, it's own layer.

Chef Mojo said...

Other than the fact the whole spiel was moronic, just a few points from a professional chef.

You can't get a decent crab cake in Maryland without going to St. Michael's Island. You sure as hell aren't going to get one in Baltimore. Especially at Inner Harbor, where there's not a restaurant that doesn't use ultra pasteurized Vietnamese jumbo lump. You can always tell by the texture and the preservative chemical aftertaste. West of Baltimore, you may as well be in Ohio as far as crab cakes are concerned, even though just about every goddamn menu in Maryland has them. I think it's a law or something.

BTW, I make the best crab cakes you'll ever have. And they don't have a bit of Old Effin' Bay Seasoning in them.

California is too big and varied to have a "state" food. End of story.

Texas brisket? Right on.

Mississippi is a total miss. Hot tamales. This guy really doesn't get around much. Mississippi has one of the best examples of culinary hybridity in the nation. http://www.southernfoodways.org/oral-history/hot-tamale-trail/

I'm very pleased with Shrimp & Grits being ranked highly. Having mastered that dish to professional acclaim many years ago, I can tell you that this dish, done in Charleston High Style, would be my choice as a last meal. But, like gumbo, there are many, many variations, and they're not confined to South Carolina. The Low Country, whose culture I've studied for a long time, extends through Georgia and northeast Florida. Some of the best shrimp & grits I've ever had were for breakfast at the aptly named Breakfast Club in Tybee Island. Fresh off the boat shrimp, butter, salt, pepper and a touch of garlic done on a griddle. Grits. Eggs. Side of housemade chorizo. Heaven.

Constant contradiction. Chicago is not Illinois, just as Philadelphia is not Pennsylvania. If he can claim deep dish as the Illinois state food, I can claim the cheesesteak as the PA state food. Piss off. A good Philly cheesesteak is a thing of beauty. About the meat: At Jim's Steaks on South Street, you can see them constantly slicing fresh, ruby red sirloins. It doesn't get much fresher than that. I'm a big fan of Jim's, right across from the late, lamented Zipperhead.

Chef Mojo said...

Lobster rolls rock. Lobster used to be trash fish fed to prisoners. Quit being so high & mighty, you elitist prick. Piss off.

Bull's testicles for Montana. Sigh. This guy is an asshole, pure and simple. Pan fried trout over a campfire next to the stream or river you caught it in.

North Dakota. C'mon. That's easy. Bison steaks.

Move Lutefisk to Minnesota. I have never known anyone from North Dakota talk about lutefisk, beyond saying that's what those crazy bastards in Minnesota eat. Every Minnesotan I've known shudders in shameful horror when lutefisk enters the conversation. Lutefisk is on par with child molestation in my book. Yes. I've had it.

Massachusetts? Close, but no cookie. Clam bake.

Virgina. Virginia Ham, of course, but he hasn't got a clue about it. And we do take it seriously. As a Virginian who, as a child, would go with his grandfather to the local smokehouse to watch him choose the Christmas ham, I have to say that the vast majority of people who claim to have had Virginia Ham have never had it done properly. Virginia or Smithfield ham is a term of art, and is a true delicacy. When properly soaked, baked or boiled, and thinly, THINLY sliced, it's on par with the the great European hams like Serrano or Parma. I will admit he nailed Northern Virginia, however.

North Carolina Pulled Pork BBQ should have been at #3. Specifically, Eastern Carolina style, with a mouth puckering vinegar based sauce to balance the fat and smoke. Fewer things better.

Dude. Chicken fried steak is a Texas thing. Get a clue. Substitute just about any kind of roast game.

Kansas? Dumb shit. Beef. Steak.

Half smokes for DC. Sure. But it's gotta be a Half smoke from Ben's Chili Bowl. That's what he thinks he's talking about, and I would have ranked it way higher.

And finally, his contemptuous dismissal of Cincinnati Chili is just silly. Stupid. I can only surmise that he got the crap beaten out of him by a Reds fan after a home game on general principles, and decided to externalize his rage and anger at being so humiliated, by trashing the venerable Cincy 5 Way. As I said, I'm from Virginia, and I really don't have a dog in this race, but I love me some good Cincy Chili. As opposed to dicksmack foodie writer, I see Cincy Chili as a quintessentially Amercian dish, harkening back to a dark and hard time in our history, when chili parlors served this - or a variation - to feed hungry workers during the Depression. A wonderfully flavorful meat sauce, spiked with cinnamon, served over spaghetti, provided the part of the fuel allotment to keep the factories grinding through that time and the Second World War. The disparagement of Cincinnati Chili is borne of pure ignorance and bad taste.

Chef Mojo said...

I can live with pizza for New York, but New York City is not New York.

What about speidies? Beef on weck? There's a lot more to New York than pizza in the Big Apple.

ErnieG said...

Lauderdale Vet said...

The Cuban Sandwich is not from Tampa. Those weirdos put Salami on it.

The Silver Ring did not put salami on it, and they made a Cuban sandwich fit for the Bureau of Standards.

El Pollo Raylan said...

@Chef Mojo: Bravo, dude!

rcommal said...

.

rcommal said...

What the hell? LMAO . Not at your post, Althouse, TBC, but at the linked piece.

betamax3000 said...

Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer (May 21, 1960 – November 28, 1994), also known as the
Milwaukee Cannibal...

Edward Theodore "Ed" Gein was an American murderer and body snatcher. His crimes, committed around his hometown of Plainfield, Wisconsin...

Wisconsin: The Other White Meat.


betamax3000 said...

Picnic with cannibals: Wisconsin’s Aztalan State Park was home to mysterious, ancient city whose residents ate their enemies

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2013/10/17/4394405/picnic-with-cannibals-wisconsins.html#storylink=cpy

El Pollo Raylan said...

Ed Gein was known to have gifted neighbors with venison prior to his arrest.

He never hunted deer.

rcommal said...

Also, Good Lord: Thaddeus Stevens? Talk about yet another example of iconicism seemingly uncoupled from history, character, characterization, and the ability of historical figures even in and from their own days to project into and unto the future a rather incomplete version of actually what was going on, what they themselves were on about, what (and the amount of) dishonesty their power of personality and strength of will could accomplish, including a dubious narrative that yet has been robust enough to far, far, far outlive their own lifetimes.

El Pollo Raylan said...

HEY RCOMMAL!

minuscule hellos.

rcommal said...

Frozen Custard for DE? Heh!

betamax3000 said...

Naked Ann Althouse Robot Consumed the Spirit of Betamax3000 Robot. I Think it is Obvious.




Footnotes.


El Pollo Raylan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wildswan said...

What about Oreos? All 52 States!! Just listed as being as good as cocaine over at Instapundit.
What about New York Cream sodas as the make them in Philly?
What about all the great sausages in Wisconsin?
Lobster rolls are great.
Crab cakes should only be made and eaten at home and in Maryland.
If you're going to eat out at cheap places what's better than a Big Mac?

I think this guy is a Coastie who is too cheap to eat out at a good place and too lazy to make foods the right way at home.

Ambrose said...

As a Rhode Islander I can tell you that hot wieners are to die for. Make you forget all about mission burritos.

rcommal said...

The only time I ever heard the term "frozen custard" used, and used actively and frequently (though, it is true, in context and of summers), was when we would go back and visit relatives in Indiana, after my family had moved yet again: to Delaware, as it happened. Back in Indiana, an evening treat might well involve a trip to the custard stand.(The use of "custard" in a frozen context meant "soft-serve [dispensed] ice cream," for example.)

Mark said...

The iconic meal of West Virginia is eggs over easy with country ham, black-eyed gravy, and a biscuit.

A hot dog with chili and slaw isn't a terrible substitute, but we're talking iconic.

Not to mention ionic. There is a f*ckload of salt in country ham and black-eyed gravy. But it's goooooood.....

Jim S. said...

Mmmm, marionberry pie. Oregon rocks.

El Pollo Raylan said...

@rcommal: This may as well be the anthem for the Brandywine DE region. :)

rcommal said...

"minuscule hellos."

Nano hi, back?

Mark said...

Here's how it goes.

Prepare your biscuit dough, cut the biscuits, put them in the oven. If you can't make I biscuit I don't want to know you.

Slice your country ham (NOT soaked) very thin. If you don't have a properly sharpened knife you could use a band saw.

Cook it up in a cast iron skillet. If you wanted to be depression-era authentic, you'd put some lard in. Otherwise, you'll want some oil/fat in there to keep the ham from sticking.

When it's nice and not-quite-brittle, pull out the country ham. Reserve on the side.

Add butter to the skillet. Fry the eggs to over-easy. Plate them.

At this point, the biscuits are probably done. Get them out of the oven.

Black-eyed gravy: Deglaze the pan with coffee (NOT decaf, you effete wretches) and reduce. You could stir in butter to emulsify it at the end if you want.

Add the slices of country ham to the plate. Eggs get a third, ham gets a third.

Pour gravy over the eggs and ham.

Biscuit gets the other third of the plate.

The proper way to eat this is for the redneck consuming the meal to make a sandwich of the biscuit and the ham, smash up the eggs in the gravy with a fork, and take a bite of the eggs and a bite of the biscuit before masticating.

Ideally there's enough sandwich left to sop up the remaining carnage on the plate. That's actually the best bite of the meal.

El Pollo Raylan said...

@rcommal: not trying to make you smaller but rather as same-size as it all.

Titus said...

Chick consumes Sullivanist up the bootie.

Mark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark said...

If I wanted to make a $30 version of the same thing:

Prosciutto for country ham.

A quail egg instead of well, a chicken egg.

A sliced croissant, buttered on both sides because...

...The espresso/prosciutto reduction would otherwise destroy the hoity-toity structure of the croissant.

Serve open-faced, with whatever garnishes are in season/vogue, with said reduction drizzled over the egg and ham.

And that was how fine cuisine was born.

El Pollo Raylan said...

Titus said...
Chick consumes Sullivanist up the bootie.

Paul Lynde voice:"My God, this Sullivan fills boots"

LilyBart said...


I've lived in Colorado for 16 years and this is the first I've ever heard of "Cowboy Cookies". Pretty sure they made that up.

The state food of Colorado is probably some organic power bar.

LilyBart said...


Or ... Colorado Lamb?

El Pollo Raylan said...

rcommal said...

Nano hi, back?

"Pico" is next. De gallo?

You have nothing to fear, L, I am forever on your side.

Partridge said...

It also has to be said, most people who think they know what Chicago-style pizza is, really have never had it. As indicated by whoever said Chicago-style pizza was a lump of dough. There's actually probably LESS dough and crust in Chicago-style than New York style. Chicago-style is mainly a delicious wad of melted cheese. And it takes about 50 minutes to get at a restaurant if ordered. Also, I've never seen it anywhere but Chicago.

Sayyid said...

Tsk. If they really want to nail down Minnesota's distinctive dish, they should have picked the Juicy Lucy.

hasnain raza said...

Lols Gag is the the Best Lol Network Ever, where you can every thing is lol and Funny, Troll Images, Prank Peoples, Funny Peoples, funny planet, funny facts, funny cartoons, funny movies pics, iphone funny, funny jokes, Prank Images, Fail Pictures, Epic Pictures, Lols and Gags, Lol Pictures, Funny Pictures, Lol is the Laugh out of Laugh where you can Fun Unlimited and Laughing Unlimited.
lolsgag.com

Marylou said...

The steamed cheeseburgers are a novelty but I never heard of anyone considering them an iconic food of Connecticut. I don't even know anyone who has had one. I believe there is only one restaurant in the entire state that serves them. Maybe New Haven pizza (Sally's, Pepe's, etc.) might have been a better choice for CT.

Marylou said...

The steamed cheeseburgers are a novelty but I never heard of anyone considering them an iconic food of Connecticut. I don't even know anyone who has had one. I believe there is only one restaurant in the entire state that serves them. Maybe New Haven pizza (Sally's, Pepe's, etc.) might have been a better choice for CT.

St. George said...

You can make a case that the hamburger is the "state food" of Connecticut as there's reason to believe it was invented there at Louis' Lunch in New Haven.

MadisonMan said...

Rhode Island's icon should be a Del's.

betamax3000 said...

Start with 6.5 Million Tons of Butter. Carefully Carve the Butter into 2,300,000 Blocks. Collect Thousands of Slaves. We Are Building a Great Pyramid of Butter.

betamax3000 said...

At the Base of the Pyramid We Will Sacrifice Vegans to the Butter Gods.

betamax3000 said...

The Butter Gods Will Smile Down Upon Us: We Have Satisfied Their Hunger.

betamax3000 said...

Next: the Majestic Ziggurat of Cheese. The Cheese Gods Are Angry at Our Love for the Butter Gods: They Demand to Be Appeased.

betamax3000 said...

The Cheese Gods Say: Lo, a Single Block of Velveeta and the Ziggurat is Rendered Meaningless. Begin Again.

David said...

It's hard to make bad shrimp and grits. But it can be done.

The ignorant author has no understanding whatsoever of bratwurst, which, like shrimp and grits, can be fabulous or mediocre.

As usual go local. The local butcher's bratwurst can be great.

Deirdre Mundy said...

I think of steamed hamburgers as more of a Chicago thing.... Everyone there is obsessed with White Castle... Connecticut people? Not so much...

Big Mike said...

Connecticutt? Iconic food is Mystic Pizza. Every Julia Roberts fan knows that.

rcommal said...

@El Pollo

I see your Sweet Cherry Wine and raise you draggin' and--that another, other thingie.

; )

Right back atcha (but you know we don't agree, actually, right?) and so forth and so on...

...and so it goes.

rcommal said...

Of course, this is not just technically but also iconic-like a better version, not to mention what I was hearing way-decades back in the day. But who cares about both, all of that, any of it,anyway?

Questions, moments, whatever, innit?

rcommal said...

(TBC, I still can't abide that p.o.s "Crystal Blue Persuasion" song. Time has neither improved it nor given me reason to regret my disliking of it then.

I'm still fond of "Draggin' the Line," however.

**shrug**)

Careless said...

Deep dish pizza isn't even the second best Chicago style pizza.

El Pollo Raylan said...

I'm still fond of "Draggin' the Line," however.

Me too.